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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to threaten to take...

80 replies

mumdrivenmad · 30/04/2010 22:34

my DH off my insurance if he drives home tonight. I have just had a returned call from my DH after I had called him around a dozen times (all were ignored). He has been out since 3 this afternoon, and has tried to tell me he has only has two pints but he was slurring his speach a bit. My reaction to this was "BULLSHIT" I told him to lock the car up where it was and to get the bus home, and that if you drive home I will take you off my insurance. I don't know how the hell he has never had an accident but he has come home and not been able to stand straight before now, and I have had enough. He knows that the drink drive law now stands at about one pint, but still he tries to tell me that he has had two and is ok, when I know full well he has had more. What more can I say to this selfish bastard who had even driven home drunk with our DC, in order to make him see sense before he causes an accident and all the horrible things that that entails.

OP posts:

giraffesCANdriveAcar · 30/04/2010 23:50

What a twat.

outnumbered2to1 · 30/04/2010 23:51

i loudly second what giraffe sez!!!!!

MintHumbug · 30/04/2010 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

differentnameforthis · 30/04/2010 23:56

I loudly third what giraffe said!!!!!

Ladyanonymous · 30/04/2010 23:59

I find it rather worrying people on this thread think its ok to have a pint (of what?) and drive a car.

In the UK, the alcohol limit for drivers is 80mg of alcohol per 100ml of blood, 35mcg per 100ml of breath or 107mg per 100ml of urine.

This is dependant on - gender, age, metabolism, stress levels and how much you have had to eat.

If a small lady who hadn't eaten had a pint of Stella and got behind the wheel she may be well over the Uk limit.

There is no safe limit IMO.

GypsyMoth · 01/05/2010 00:02

So who does the car belong to if it's YOUR insurance???

outnumbered2to1 · 01/05/2010 00:02

again i second what ladyanonymous said. There is no safe limit other than ZERO!!! it works across in Austria - they also have harsher penalties for drink driving like the automatic loss of your licence on the spot if you are caught drink driving....

minthumbug sorry getting a bit heated by the bleating of the OP about how DP will lose job if he loses licence.....

SolidGoldBrass · 01/05/2010 00:09

If your DP has a drink problem (which TBH may be likely if he repeatedly drives when drunk) then sooner or later you'e going to have to deal with that. But TBH a lot of people are just shit drivers when sober, drink driving is apparently a factor in only 23% of accidents so 77% are caused by shit driving other things.
It's not great to repeatedly drive when drunk (unless you live in the sticks when the only other thing you're likely to encoutner on the road is a stray hedgehog) but in general, squawky hysteria about drink-driving is a bit pointless and misguided -it's as though people think that screaming about drunk drivers will somehow make them immune to car crashes - car accidents happen and in many cases drink is not a factor.

outnumbered2to1 · 01/05/2010 00:12

solidgoldbrass "squawky hyeteria about drunk driving" seriously? is that what you meant to write?

Casmama · 01/05/2010 00:12

The difference is SGB that someone who chooses to drink and drive chooses to increase their chances of being involved in an accident and at the same time breaks the law. Yes many people are shit drivers who cause accidents but I would imaging their is rarely intent to do so. Drink driving is a choice.

Casmama · 01/05/2010 00:13

there not their

KarmaAngel · 01/05/2010 00:13

SHIT! YANBU I'm drunk right now and no way I would get behind the berluddy wheel.

Vallhala · 01/05/2010 00:15

Yes SGB, but despite all our care, child murder happens too, but does that mean it's okay to leave your child in the care of a killer?

It's one thing to accept that accidents happen without getting hysterical, but another completely to act in a manner which may well enable such an accident tooccur.

GypsyMoth · 01/05/2010 00:18

I remember my police training.........I remember the bit with the traffic division.......I especially remember the photos of hazchem rta's, suicides, accidents in general,oh, and the drink related accidents too.......I also remember breathalising so many members of the public........surprising how many there were you know!!!

But those photos.......

outnumbered2to1 · 01/05/2010 00:19

vallhala thank you for eloquently stating what i couldn't cos i was still picking my jaw up off the floor at SGB's comments about squawky hysteria"

Original poster

mumdrivenmad · 01/05/2010 00:37

I would like to make it clear that I don't turn a blind eye to him drinking and then driving home. I have always made it clear to my DH that he can have a drink but he needs to leave the car at home. When I said I know full well he has had more it is always after he has got home and I see what he is like. He tries to argue saying that he has "only had two" but we have been together for almost 19 years and I know what he is like after two pints and what he is like when he has had more than this. I don't want him to think it is ok to drink and drive and I am pleased other MNers have leaped to the challenge. I am at my wits end with him and needed your sagely advice. I want to make it clear to you all that if I knew for sure that he was drink driving I would call the police on him, and I am sorry if it came across as preferring him to keep his licence over protecting the general public. When I threatened to take him off the insurance it would not have been tonight but I would have done it tomorrow, so that he would not be able to drive my car any more.

OP posts:

outnumbered2to1 · 01/05/2010 00:42

mumdrivenmad how many times has he driven home drunk since the time he drove drunk with your kids in the car? however many it has been its been TOO many

Vallhala · 01/05/2010 00:42

But mumdrivenmad, is a man who still drinks and drives despite your pleas and who has driven drunk with your children in the car going to mildly accept that he cannot drive your car any more?

outnumbered2to1 · 01/05/2010 00:50

vallhala i wonder how many times the OP has made perfectly clear to her husband that the next time he drinks and drives he'll be in big trouble.......?

Original poster

mumdrivenmad · 01/05/2010 11:04

Well people I grew a pair and this was the conversation this morning:
ME "You EVER think about driving drunk again I WILL be calling the police I don't care about you losing your licence anymore"
DH "I wasn't going to drive home"
ME "Yes you bloody were"
DH "No I wasn't"
ME " You were in the car when you called me weren't you?"
DH "No"
ME "Yes you bloody were you AND you had the keys in the ignition" (I could hear the radio on that is how I know)
DH "Well I won't be going to work then anymore will I"
Me " I don't care anymore YOU have to decide what is more important, and if I even suspect that you have been drinking and driving again I will be reporting you and taking you off the insurance, because protecting the general pubic is far more important that you keeping your bloody licence."
DH "Ok fair enough"
I let him stew for a while and came back at him with "Tell me I was wrong then"
DH "No you weren't wrong fair enough you've given me a bollocking I won't be doing it again"
ME "If you want a drink you leave the car at home if you have the car you don't drink"

OP posts:

thehillsarealive · 01/05/2010 11:55

mumdrivenmad that is a good start, but you really have to mean it.

I know we were harsh with you last night, but deservedly so i feel.

good for you.

diddl · 01/05/2010 12:13

I would have reported him when he phoned last night slurring his words tbh.

Let´s hope it works & that he doesn´t take the car when he knows he´s going to drink & that if he has the car he doesn´t drink "impromptu" iyswim.

I´m not the only one whose husband has never had a drop of alcohol when driving am I?

differentnameforthis · 01/05/2010 12:17

Well done, mumdrivenmad...yes we were a little harsh on you & you have turned that onto your dh

Hope he takes notice!

thehillsarealive · 01/05/2010 16:35

diddl - neither myself or husband have any alcohol if driving.

If he fancies a drink if we are out I drive, and vice versa. so in answer to your question NO you are not alone.

JaynieB · 03/05/2010 21:38

Good for you - lets hope your DH takes this to heart and does it no more.

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