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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to threaten to take...

80 replies

mumdrivenmad · 30/04/2010 22:34

my DH off my insurance if he drives home tonight. I have just had a returned call from my DH after I had called him around a dozen times (all were ignored). He has been out since 3 this afternoon, and has tried to tell me he has only has two pints but he was slurring his speach a bit. My reaction to this was "BULLSHIT" I told him to lock the car up where it was and to get the bus home, and that if you drive home I will take you off my insurance. I don't know how the hell he has never had an accident but he has come home and not been able to stand straight before now, and I have had enough. He knows that the drink drive law now stands at about one pint, but still he tries to tell me that he has had two and is ok, when I know full well he has had more. What more can I say to this selfish bastard who had even driven home drunk with our DC, in order to make him see sense before he causes an accident and all the horrible things that that entails.

OP posts:
outnumbered2to1 · 30/04/2010 23:16

hey vallhala i'm so sorry about your cousin. I was lucky enough to get away with torn ligaments and a broken ankle after a drunk driver hit the car i was a front seat passenger in when i lived in austria, my friend who was driving spent three weeks in ITU but thankfully made a full recovery. The drunk driver walked away with a bloody nose.

I wouldn't hesistate to shop someone i knew or suspected of drink driving. SCUMBAGS

Vallhala · 30/04/2010 23:17

THAA, Kenny's killer went to jail too - as I understand it the Police prosecute for drunk driving in Canada regardless of the compassion of the victim's families.

I for one have no pity for him.

differentnameforthis · 30/04/2010 23:17

mumdrivenmad, it's not that hard! At 16 I stopped my very drunk boyfriend (then 21 & much bigger/taller than me) from getting into his car, by hiding his keys. He wasn't happy at all, but walked home. The next day he thanked me for making him see the 'error of his ways' as it were.

He had driven drunk so many times before we met but there was NO way that he was doing it while with me.

I was told much later, that his family were in despair over this, no one had managed to stop him drinking & driving before. I don't know if it is all credit to me, or maybe he was just at the right stage in his life to be 'given the lesson'. He is my husband now and in the 21 years we have been together he has had no more than the equivalent of a pint if he has to drive now.

GypsyMoth · 30/04/2010 23:18

just bloody report him.....he loses his licence,nobody dies!!

JustAnotherManicMummy · 30/04/2010 23:18

Don't take him off the insurance. If he kills or injures someone and is uninsured then the family or victim will not get compensation.

Of course that is irrelevent if you can stop him hurting or killing someone else, which you can. You can phone the police if you suspect he is driving home drunk. You don't have to know.

And btw, he won't need a licence for work if he's

a) in prison
b) in hospital
c) paralysed
d) dead

If you can't think about other people's families please think about your own. Fatherless children: loss of income, loss of homelife, loss of security, loss of love

Vallhala · 30/04/2010 23:20

Thank you Outnumbered. It was a long time ago now, nearly 30 years ago, when Kenny's youngest sibling was just 9, and I 19. Regardless I will never forget him and never have any sympathy for the selfishness of drunk drivers or those who allow them to act as they do.

Original poster
mumdrivenmad · 30/04/2010 23:22

If I am with him when he has had a drink then I do the driving simple, but I can't take the keys off him if I am not with him though.

OP posts:
outnumbered2to1 · 30/04/2010 23:24

the pain never fades really. I still get an odd ache in my ankle in winter, my friend who was driving still walks with a limp and the bastard who hit us got a six month prison sentence and lost his licence for six years. Austria has a zero per mil limit for alcohol - something which i think should be the standard legal limit

blinder · 30/04/2010 23:25

I agree with Glastonbury. Grass him up to the police before he seriously hurts someone or worse.

One quick phone call with his license plate number and his route. Done.

FairhairedandFrustrated · 30/04/2010 23:25

Then it's time you sat him down and had a very serios chat with him.

Look up the drink driving ads, make him watch them - look at the life you could all face if he killed or seriously injured someone whilst drink driving.

outnumbered2to1 · 30/04/2010 23:26

mumdrivenmad sorry but that is a cop out and you know it. If you suspect he is going to be in the pub - DON'T LET HIM TAKE THE FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!

thehillsarealive · 30/04/2010 23:27

mumdrivenmad, if you cant see that you are enabling his behaviour then I am of no further use on this thread.

What would happen if you had a few drinks when out for a meal or at a party? Or are you teetotal?

Am off to bed now.

thehillsarealive · 30/04/2010 23:28

valhalla I am sorry for your loss. I also felt nothing for the killer, was too busy grieving for my beautiful cousins whose life was snuffed out by a selfish bastard.

outnumbered2to1 · 30/04/2010 23:29

is anyone else now thinking "troll"

Vallhala · 30/04/2010 23:29

No you can't take the keys off him if you're not there... but you can tell him that a drunk driver is no example to your DC, and not fit to be with your family.

outnumbered2to1 · 30/04/2010 23:32

vallhala i'm still having trouble understanding why the OP's DH is still allowed anywhere near the car after driving drunk with the DC's in it.....

Vallhala · 30/04/2010 23:35

Agreed, outnumbered and I'm also struggling with the "but he needs the car to get to work because money means more to me than some stranger's life" theory too.

MintHumbug · 30/04/2010 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mumdrivenmad · 30/04/2010 23:36

I don't LET him take the car to the pub, as far as I was aware he was just giving his friend a lift to his holiday and was then coming home. I even asked him did he want me to come along so he could have a drink with his friend, but he told me he was just dropping his friend off then coming home. I don't drink when we go out with the car FULL STOP.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 30/04/2010 23:36

Fair enough you can't take the keys away if you are not with him...I would solve this by saying that he isn't allowed the use of the car....ever! And hide the keys.

Actually...I think I would have left him the day he drove drunk with my kids.

outnumbered2to1 · 30/04/2010 23:39

Mumdrivenmad sorry but that is bullshit and you know it. "as far as i was aware" he wasn't going to the pub cos he said he wasn't. Did he say the last time he wasn't going to the pub either? you know the time he drove drunk with your children in the car?

junglist1 · 30/04/2010 23:41

MrDrivenmad, FIX UP. People always think it won't be them.

Vallhala · 30/04/2010 23:42

What differentname said.

He'd have been gone. Loooonnnng ago.

MintHumbug · 30/04/2010 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

outnumbered2to1 · 30/04/2010 23:47

sorry minthumbug but in fairness would you turn a blind eye to your DP driving drunk with your DC in the car?

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