sex and chocolate

[Jasonthunderpants]

Picture the scene
kids in bed
DW lying on the sofa shouts into the kitchen
"can you get me a magnum out of the freezer"
Me thinks quick, runs up stairs and gets bowtie out of drawer runs back down. Take off all my clothes puts bowtie on and get magnum and put it on a tray to take into her. While this is going on Keith stands to attention looking forwards to a bit of fun

When I enter the room DW bursts out laughing

AIBU to be dissapointed. can you tell me
1 where i am going wrong
2 Is the problem with DW, what would you do if a naked hunk walked into your living room with a chocolate lolly? I may not be Brad Pitt but if I suck my belly in I think I am quite dashing

vague is right. The other day I was sitting next to a woman waiting for our kids. She knows me, she referred to my husband by name. I have no clue who she is. So I asked her "yours looking forward to going up then?" - that covers - number of children. gender. and what year they're in. while seeming like I know the child/ren.

I am very good at that.

well, you have to be when you are so bad you even walk right past your mother in Tesco.

have you been to SpecSavers ?

@Hec..i'm terrible with peoples names so I either have nick names for them..ie 'The cardigan' for a woman who wears the same cardi everyday...or I have to describe them..

oh yes, Happy Woman (she's a really chirpy lady), Miserable Ginger (dies her hair red, always has a cats bum mouth), The Fat Man (chubby bloke), Bad Babysitter (think she's a childminder - half a dozen little kids running down the busy main road, round the corner, she can't see them...) The Rude Woman (she interrupted me once while I was talking) Blondie...

I've known Happy Woman for years. Our kids went to infant school together, and junior school. I buy eggs off her. can I remember her name? Can I buggery. And I waved at her the other week.

Except it wasn't her. (my husband said, Who's that? and I said Happy Woman and he went no it's not.)

My therapist said it's called something beginning with P. I forget what, exactly. (and no, that's not my idea of a joke!)

specsavers. tsk.

PissArtist ??

ha. no. Am quite serious although I realise it sounds totally insane.

Anyway.

Back to the important stuff.

Who on earth names their penis? [boggle]

I generally wave at anyone I dont know if they wave first...in all probability they may think I'm my sister/best friend...don't want to be rude

I think men name their penis because it does kind of have a mini mind of its own..popping up unexpectedly...plus its seperate from the rest of the body??..I do wonder...

naming your willy is no different from naming you car.
My toes have names too and I sometimes draw faces on them (when DW is working away for the week and I am bored)and have a chat with them.Usually after a bottle of wine

click on my name and look at my pictures.
The photo is not me it is my big toe called Rupert
Thank you and good night
x

Hecate... prosopagnosia!

nooooooooooooooooo

< does not click >

I would be most appreciative if a hunk did that.

If DP did that however.....

Caty - prosopagnosia! That'll be the one!

heehee, itwas - when I had ds1 - 10lb4oz, born with a shock of black hair, mixed race, he was put in the nursery - with white, 6 or 7lb babies.

I stood at the door, hovering because I just wasn't sure which was him! I thought I knew, logically I knew, but I had a doubt because I couldn't tell, iyswim.

And there's a little asian(?) boy in my sons' school, who I always mix ds2 up with. my son is mixed race (white/black african) It's only the fact that this kid has got long hair and my son's is clipped that stops me going up to him

I am really really lucky we live in a predominantly white area or I'd have real trouble!

lol@Hec..oh dear

Jason was on another thread recently also talking about "Keith"; I think you need to go and put "Keith" away really, don't you dearie...

That's AMAZING! My DP is called Keith, and he calls his penis Jasonthunderpants! What an amazing coincidence!

Not sexy Jason at all.
Very funny, i would of just shagged you based on that.

If it's a Magnum, you should have had a big moustache too.

Just to give you some moral support Jason, my dh calls his Bruce , well, we kind of jointly named it.

I too would have laughed and then eaten the magnum although that's nit a bad thing because it was my dh's ability to make me laugh that got me in to bed in the first place.

Once I'd eaten the magnum I might have had a little somethin' somethin'

Maybe if you'd hung around rather than rushing off to mn it might have ended differently...