sex and chocolate

[Jasonthunderpants]

Picture the scene
kids in bed
DW lying on the sofa shouts into the kitchen
"can you get me a magnum out of the freezer"
Me thinks quick, runs up stairs and gets bowtie out of drawer runs back down. Take off all my clothes puts bowtie on and get magnum and put it on a tray to take into her. While this is going on Keith stands to attention looking forwards to a bit of fun

When I enter the room DW bursts out laughing

AIBU to be dissapointed. can you tell me
1 where i am going wrong
2 Is the problem with DW, what would you do if a naked hunk walked into your living room with a chocolate lolly? I may not be Brad Pitt but if I suck my belly in I think I am quite dashing

I would like to know what is wrong with calling my willy Keith

If you were a man what would you call yours?

When I wander through the lounge in my lacy undies to get DH to stop playing COD on the X-Box, I get a result every time

Maybe she thought you were trying to be Frank Butcher??? Don't lose hope laughter can be very good foreplay!!

I knew there'd be a problem when I saw the title "sex and chocolate"
It's sex or chocolate
Your DW went for chocolate.

I really don't think I would award my willy with it's own persona. But maybe I would, if I was a man.

"Do you think i am some kind of weirdo who dresses his willy in fashionable neck wear?"

TBH, given that you call your penis Keith, I think it's entirely possible.

Keith is a brilliant name for a willy.
If I had one, I'd call it Claudius.

I'm Spartacus

What a turn off.
Try feeding her the ice cream, licking off the drips as you go. Without a hard-on announcing your ulterior motive. Without thinking bringing her something is going to guarantee you a fuck.
Simples.

Thanks to this thread, DH has decided he is going to name his penis. He has chosen Thunderbird 6.

Thanks.

Absolutely PMSL...

"Thunderbird 6" I just spat tea on the keyboard.
Op, you interfered with her enjoyment of eating not just ice cream, but chocolate as well. 'Nuff said.

F.A.B.

BessieBoots
You will have to call your mans willy Cladius

Next time you want to get saucey you will have to ask him if Cladius is coming out to play

sorry i mean Claudius

If you were my dh I'd gave grabbed you and the ice-cream! Tho I might have had to send you back to the kitchen for another one - I won't sharemy Magnum any more than I will share my man.

Nowhere if my hubby do that to me i'd love it i think you got some balls, good on you!

I think it may have been the bow-tie OP... unless she has a thing for the new Doctor.

Prob a tad late Beasknees, but, No, I'M Spartacus!

Yeah the bowtie would of made me laugh. Plus sorry to put this bluntly but a great jutting out erection is not what I would call sexy. Maybe if you had left on your boxers... preferably tightish ones. Leave a little to the imagination maybe?

Better luck next time.

Ah Jason, Jason, Jason... So much to learn, my dear...

depends on the mood I think. Sometimes I would have done the same as your DW but if I'd had a good day or alcohol had been involved it definately would have been a go-er. Dh once tried to 'modify' a pair of my underwear with a pair of scissors, I was not impressed! (dont try it if you want a happy DW)

a bow tie? I'd have laughed too, but then definitely had sex before eating the magnum (it's on a tray so won't drip onto the carpet while it melts)
but seriously - Keith???? what were you thinking?