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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be p***** off with my sister for not sponsoring my race for life because...

40 replies

mousemole · 29/04/2010 08:39

I quote -

''I don't sponsor cancer fundraising events as the raised money generally goes to drug companies and I can't be doing with it ''

WTF is she on about ?????

OP posts:

AKMD · 29/04/2010 08:47

YABU, it's her decision whether to sponsor you or not, she isn't obliged to just because she's your sister. I never sponsor anyone for anything because I like to give my chosen charities a decent amount of money rather than spreading it thinly.

Original poster

mousemole · 29/04/2010 08:57

I dont mind people not sponsoring me but I really don't understand her argument - wondered if anyone knew what she was talking about? Surely she means the other way round - that some cancer charities receive money and loans from drug companies to facilitate research ?

OP posts:

DorotheaPlenticlew · 29/04/2010 08:57

She may have a point though. I can't claim to know a lot about this issue, but have definitely heard plausible arguments that most of the cancer charity money raised for the big, well-known charities is directed towards "cure" rather than "prevention" type of research. There are, I believe, some serious cancer researchers who worry that this is because it's more profitable for drug manufacturers -- and that in fact, the money would be far better spent on research looking for preventative measures (like the cervical cancer jag). That it would save more lives by far if differently managed.

This is, in itself, reason enough to think carefully about where one gives one's money.

Original poster

mousemole · 29/04/2010 09:00

Dorothea thanks for that info -more enlightening than my sisters 2 line statement.

OP posts:

DorotheaPlenticlew · 29/04/2010 09:03

It might be rubbish tho, as I say I'm not really well-informed...

I think I've just found on of the articles I was remembering reading about this sort of thing. There were others but I'm not managing to rediscover them, and not sure how it actually relates to the actual use of your specific charity money ... more of a general crit of the priorities of "the cancer community"

link

Original poster

mousemole · 29/04/2010 09:09

very interesting
I found this which maybe what she is alluding too. ( she lives in the Sates)

www.preventcancer.com/losing/acs/wealthiest_links.htm

OP posts:

3billygoatsgruff · 29/04/2010 09:14

I'd be pissed off because it wouldn't hurt her to sponsor you a fiver just to show you her support, unless she is really skint in which case I guess you wouldn't have asked for sponsorship in the first place.

rookiemater · 29/04/2010 09:19

If I had been your sister I would have said something blander but that is her opinion and she is entitled to it, at the end of the day although it is for charity you are asking people for money and they are perfectly entitled not to hand it over for whatever reason they choose. YABu.

diddl · 29/04/2010 09:22

Perhaps she thought giving a reason was better than just saying no?

I loathe being asked to sponsor in this way - I already support the charities I want to by donations.

Original poster

mousemole · 29/04/2010 09:49

I respect people's decisions not to donate- lots of people have their charitable donations in place to their favoured charities. In which case I dont understand why she didn't follow that route and ignore my email request for sponsorship. I didn't understand her argument and also it feels as if she is saying my efforts are a total waste of time as all cancer charities are diverting funds to drug companies.

OP posts:

SixtyFootDoll · 29/04/2010 09:52

I dont sponsor anyone doing race for life as every other person I know does it and to be honest walking 3 miles is harldy a great effort..

I have sponsored friends doing the marathon and other challenges which they have spent a lot of time and effort training for.

And I give to local cancer charities, I think the large chariteis spend too much money on self promotion and chuggers.

diddl · 29/04/2010 09:53

So should just have ignored or said no without trying to explain?

Downdog · 29/04/2010 09:54

YANBU - she's your sister. You're doing a run. She should at least chuck in a fiver to support YOU!

YesYouMust · 29/04/2010 09:55

YABU - She is as entitled to her opinion as anyone.

Original poster

mousemole · 29/04/2010 09:56

I'm doing the 10k race at 36 weeks pregnant. and I have been putting a lot of effort into training. I ran 7.5k 3 times a week until 20 weeks and now jog 5k a few times a week. I'm intending to jog the first 5k and walk the 2nd 5k. I do see your point about local cancer charities benefitting more and those bloomin chuggers drive me wild.

OP posts:

CrankyTwanky · 29/04/2010 10:03

yabu
i know plenty of people who won't give money to any cause that could result in animals being tested on. their prerogative.

SixtyFootDoll · 29/04/2010 10:08

Well fair play to you mouse mole, and as much as I have said above if it was my sister i would give you a fiver cos you are my sister!

radstar · 29/04/2010 10:09

I did race for life and never will again purely because of their "chugger" attitude.

I had the made the effort raised loads of money and they rang me and basically hassled and hassled for more and more money even though I had told them my circumstances had changed and I couldn't spare any money that year. I was so angry I should have complained because in my opinion that isn't how you treat someone who is doing something for you already.

op if I were your sister I would have given you something as support to you but whilst she didn't explain herself well, she too has a point. I think I would rather give to smaller less "in your face" charities.

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 29/04/2010 10:10

Race for life is for Cancer Research UK, isn't it? AFAIK, they run their own research programs and institutions: details here.

From website, looks like they do collaborate with drug companies for some clinical trials, but I would expect them to, really, as this is the most cripplingly expensive part of drug development.

If I was nitpicking, I'd say having offices in central London not the best way of using cash, but maybe I just have a provincial chip on my shoulder...

Sounds like your sister has A Bit Of A Thing about drug comanies, I wouldn't take it personally if I was you. Though it is a shame.

zipzap · 29/04/2010 10:27

OP - maybe that is what she is thinking but doesn't want to put it to you quite as bluntly.

Not saying I agree with her but maybe she is sitting thinking why on earth is MM wasting her time running for cancer research to give it to the drug companies when she could run for xxx (insert her favourite charities here) which is a much better charity... And you might know something about that charity that you don't like or agree with, but it's everybody's choice as to which charity they support.

But you are right - it wasn't a very friendly way for her to put it and if she does have issues or worry about it then she should have explained them to you nicely so you could either explain why you think she is misguided or so you could do research and think yikes I agree with her and change or not, all up to you!

Rejessta · 29/04/2010 10:41

YABU, YABU and YABU! Sorry, OP, but I feel really strongly about this. The sponsorship industry is totally out of control. Working for a large financial services group I get about 30 requests for sponsorship every month. Very little of that money actually gets through and the process has been come a horrible imposition on friends and family as we are constantly bombarded with sanctimonious requests to fund dodgy charities to fuel somebody else's urge to feel smug about doing something they would have done anyway. Worse still, these so-called charities have begun to overwhelm public events like the London Marathon - increasingly runners in such events are being asked to raise over 300 quid to participate.

By expecting your sister to sponsor you and having a sulk when she doesn't you are making the contribution an obligation. It isn't, she doesn't have to excuse herself for not sponsoring you and you need to be grateful that she bothered to dream an excuse rather than telling you to get lost.

Original poster

mousemole · 29/04/2010 11:28

Radstar - I am shocked at your experience . I can't believe they hassled you for more money. I think next time I will put my efforts into a smaller more local charity. Rejessta, I do agree that sponsorship is out of control. I get pissed off with the 'I'm going to do a jolly bike ride throUgh Barbados please sponsor me' type emails. I wasn't 'expecting' my sister or anyone to sponsor me - I just didn't understand her response but thanks to some of the input on here I'm a lot clearer on the complexities of charity fundraising now.
THofSuburbia, I agree offices in central London seems a little uncecessary but I think maybe I am being provincial too.
ZipZap,yes she was quite blunt but each to their own I suppose. If the roles were reversed I would have made a token dontation.

OP posts:

Nemofish · 29/04/2010 11:34

Cancer research involves animal experiments. This is why I don't give to cancer research charities.

My lovely Mil died of cancer, the MacMillan nurses were a fantastic support to her, to I always give to Macmillan cancer research instead.

Personal choice.

Original poster

mousemole · 29/04/2010 11:38

fair point about the animal testing. Macmillan seems a fantastic organisation.

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 29/04/2010 11:52

yabu and I can see her logic in a roundabout way. The likely hood is that one of the big companies will be the one to cure cancer if it ever happens and then make billions of profit. So sponsoring cancer research is essentially is in her mind giving these huge companies free money so that they can absolutely screw over cancer patients later.

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