to think that a lot of people seem to neither have an idea of how to be a guest or a host nowadays?

[LadyBiscuit]

At the risk of sounding like a terrible old fogey (but I am one so I may as well embrace it), whatever happened to wanting your guests to enjoy your wedding as much as you do? Or to feel comfortable, not awkward when they are invited to your home?

And since when was it okay to go round to someone's house and dictate to them whether or not the telly is on or off? Do some of you tell people to change the CD because you can't stand Coldplay?

Are we just all so self-absorbed and egotistical nowadays that basic manners don't matter any more?

It makes me very sad and a bit worried because tolerance for people's differences and peculiarities are what makes us an integrated society. Once you decide that your way of doing things is better than everyone else's our multicultural society's a bit fucked

Okay, everyone!

Providing your guests with clean bedding means you are a Stepford Wife!

Take note.

Auntie said the looks on the faces of those who didn't RSVP were priceless!

expat, that is ridiculous. Don't really mean that - I mean repeatedly not bothering to turn up/ turning up when you've said you won't.

Oh, I agree, LittleREd.

STanding up your friends repeatedly is lame!

Don't know whether to laugh or cry re the "sticky sheets".

I also asked on the other thread if the "host/ess" would be happy to be upfront about the fact they hadn't changed the sheets.

"hello Auntie Mabel. Hope you don't mind, we didn't put clean sheets on. Cousin Fred was only in there for a couple of nights, his girlfriend stayed over too but we didn't actually hear them having sex. Oh, and Uncle Tom, but that was only the one night and I'm fairly sure those marks aren't skid marks. "

yeah right expat that's JUST what I said

as opposed to ..well just read back if anyone can be arsed

And no one answered you, onepiece!

Don't know if it's connected but there was a thread yesterday about a woman screaming at her 4 month old baby to "f*ing shut up".

She seemed to get a lot of sympathy on this site.

So, if we are now a society where it is acceptable to scream and swear at an infant, then guest soap and hand towels don't really matter, do they?

I know, expat

Possibly they were just writing me off as a freak. oh well, I don't care.

Unfortunately the weekend nanny had gone with my boss to take the children swimming - just the one chicken poxy one was left behind. Along with the 'mother' and me. I guess she was a bit confused about hired help. I think my words were 'I don't think that's my job actually' delivered with a wintry smile.

That was my first and last experience of the English country house - never again. I don't write handwritten cards I must confess but I do always text or email after I've been wined and dined.

heh, I'm one of those horrible people who feel the need to point out bad manners in people. It's like a reflex, I can't help it. If I hold a door open for someone and they don't say thank you, I tell them off ('thank you is the word you're looking for')

If someone is barging around the supermarket and crashes into me with a shopping trolley, i don't apologise for being in their way like I used to, i respond with a loud 'OW! look where you're going!'

I'm by no means perfect, but I do really really try to be a good host and in general just a considerate human being, and it riles me beyond belief that people can't have the same courtesy.

My family HATE it, but if nobody ever calls people

(yes, I know.. sorry.. I do let these kind of things bother me far too much - don't get me started on driving)

We really should do informercials for Dream Sack.

We can have sceptic play the opening role, involving a bed. She'll rip the sheets off angrily shouting, 'Housework is so dull and tedious! Don't you hate it when guests come over and you have to change the sheets?'

In will step onepiece, 'But how do you know you're not bedding down on someone else's dead skin cells, lice, faecal matter, urine, semen or female bodily secretions?'

Then I'll jump on and say, 'If you don't know, but you still care, then the Dream Sack is for you!'

We're all gonna be rich!

I'm in. However I do think we should specifically mention "poo crumbs" as well.

And dribble on pillowcases! I left that out.

fleas too (lots of people let their animals use the spare room in addition to/in place of guests.

sorry, missed a bit off

...My family HATE it, but if nobody ever calls people on their shitty behaviour, point out how crappy they are being, why will they ever change?

Hmmm, I go for the mi casa, su casa approach. I will do clean sheets, tea, coffee, water, chocs in the spare room. I will do fresh croissants/bacon sarnies for breakfast. I will even let them have a lie in and feed their dcs breakfast.

Otherwise, they have to fit in with us a bit. Can't be doing with rules about tv, suitable cereal, waiting hand and foot on people. If you want a beer or a coffee - get one. And get me one whilst your at it

And never, never again will I kowtow to someone's rules about "kids ALWAYS eat with the adults" after having a precious visit from friends wrecked by knackered, hungry dcs going into melt down whilst we cooked dinner. Simple, back from day out - kids fed, bathed, put to bed, or tucked up with DVD - THEN adult wine/food/time.

poo crumbs?! am I being quoted?

Jareth - I do that thing when I hold open doors too. I want people to know when they're being ill-mannered.

Oh, I see not

LadyBiscuit - good!!! My DP farking hates it when i call people on their bad manners. Won't stop me though

YANBU. Nor is it a thing about age. It's about class. And not about, you know, working class/middle class... Money can't buy class.

Classy people are well mannered and considerate. Like yourself.

balls. Waitrose is full of people who don't have any manners. As is Burford/Bourton/all of the farking cotswolds.

Someone who was at a party I was at recently, arrived with a bottle for the hosts. All good so far.
About half an hour after her arrival, she received a call on her mobile of a 'better offer'.
Not only did she abruptly leave the party, she removed her gifted bottle from under the nose of the hostess and took it with her