to think that a lot of people seem to neither have an idea of how to be a guest or a host nowadays?

[LadyBiscuit]

At the risk of sounding like a terrible old fogey (but I am one so I may as well embrace it), whatever happened to wanting your guests to enjoy your wedding as much as you do? Or to feel comfortable, not awkward when they are invited to your home?

And since when was it okay to go round to someone's house and dictate to them whether or not the telly is on or off? Do some of you tell people to change the CD because you can't stand Coldplay?

Are we just all so self-absorbed and egotistical nowadays that basic manners don't matter any more?

It makes me very sad and a bit worried because tolerance for people's differences and peculiarities are what makes us an integrated society. Once you decide that your way of doing things is better than everyone else's our multicultural society's a bit fucked

I agree generally but ohh stripping beds grr

I had beautifully ironed linen fresh on for guests staying one night only..they stripped the lot and left in a dingy pile in the corner the next morning.

grr -- that would have done for sleepovers, family guests, me to avoid snoring etc etc

they meant well...

YADNBU

EEew, sceptic! You were going to put your family guests on used sheets?!

Eeeww.

We rented a house from some friends and when we left there was a bottle of champers in the fridge and some basics - milk, butter, etc.

Fresh eggs, bread in their machine we brought down from the loft, tea bags, etc.

I put their clean, ironed sheets back on the bed with a new mattress cover.

Flowers, a card.

Detail, people, the devil is in the detail.

This is why I never have dinner parties and never go them. The whole thing is a fucking nightmare. Rather go to the pub.

A tip for sleepovers:- Buy cheap sleeping bags and hand them to overnighting children. Machine wash the whole thing next day. Peasy!

Oh dear, I do thank-you texts. Am I being very rude?

(Mind you, we are all penniless grad students so 'dinner' is usually baked potato and beans, but ...)

Thank you texts better than not bothering at all imo. Also depends if the hosts text a lot themselves and if they are close friends.

Texts and emails are okay in my book! Or PMs.

No, not at all Dragon - a text is far far better than nowt.

What I was meaning is, that I have sent stuff via dh to people at his work who have my email/number, but have never thought to even text a quick thanks.

Apparently if it is someone you would text a joke to it is acceptable to text a thank you!

I cannot remember my source but it sounded a reasonable action.

Yes I would expat. I wouldn't want to make extra work for my sisters and they wouldn't want to make extra work for me. They know housework is tedious and dull and we all know that we all hate it. Sheets slept on for six hours in pjs (in a cold house) are not EEEuw!!!! for family unless you are a complete freak.

Ladybiscuit my DH and I put everything into ensuring our guests had a fantastic time at our wedding and the result was that we had a wonderful time and so many guests still tell us they had a fab time.

Also we did not have a guest list and instead said to guests that they could give a contribution to charity if they liked but we never checked if they did.

That's a bit rude mmrsceptic suggesting that someone is a "complete freak" just because their household priorites vary from yours.

You obviously missed the last thread about this.

Plenty of folks on there admitted to padding around in PJs, then sleeping nude.

My goodness if only I'd kept up to date with mn guidelines what was I thinking

eeeuuw!!!!! implies disgusting which is also rather rude

Oh good! I'd send a card to someone for formal dinner, but I can't see myself doing more than a quick text to friends.

Pet hate: people who say they'll turn up and don't. Especially the woman in my seminar group who can't eat onions, who's stood up three of us in the last two months. Tempting to stop inviting her, I think!

Also: 'it's not convenient' is not an excuse for not helping someone out when they're in a panic.

Guess we're freaks for not wanting to sleep on some sweat and saliva-covered pillowcase, onepiece.

Changing sheets is right up there with Sisyphus's rock.

Quite, expat. And no one on that other thread was able to answer my other question. i.e. they said they would reuse sheets if no one had had sex!

How did they know?!

LittleRed, my late aunt once attended a wedding where, as you entered, you gave your name to an attendant, who then asked if you RSVPd. After checking your name off a list, she gave you a token. You had to take this to the buffet to get a plate.

If you hadn't RSVP'd, you didn't get to eat!

Guess what? Nobody died yet of not being a Stepford Wife.

I'm going to start taking my own pillowcases with me.

They wouldn't, onepiece, especially after so many on the poo crumbs thread admitted they'd sleep naked and have sex, including solo sex.

Oh ... oh yuck. onepiece, I've now got skin-crawling thoughts about sleeping in sheets someone else had sex on. Yuck.

When I was younger, a friend's mum used to change sheets on her spare bed once a month, regardless of who'd slept there.

It got a bit, er, sticky by the time we were old enough to be going out at night and coming back there.

[boak]

Fab idea re the wedding tokens! Wish I had thought of that.