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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Circumcision?

294 replies

Claire236 · 24/04/2010 17:03

I've never started a thread in AIBU before as it can be quite scary so please be nice. My dh was circumcised as an adult for medical reasons & ds1 had to have an operation so has in effect been circumcised. ds2 (almost 5 months) is as nature intended but I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to have him circumcised. Firstly as that way he will grow up looking the same as his brother & dad which I think could make a difference to how he feels when he gets a bit older. Secondly because it seems more hygenic. I'm unsure due to the fact that ds1s op for horribly painful & I wouldn't want to put ds2 through that for no good reason. I haven't spoken to my GP about this so don't know when is normal to have it done or anything but I'd really like to know if people think I'm BU considering this.

OP posts:
Mumto2lovelyboys · 25/04/2010 13:02

YesYouMust Have you any experience of cicumcision? It didn't hurt my DS' with the procedure they had. If it had hurt DS1, I wouldn't have chosen it for DS2. They cried with the injection but I was able to soothe them immediatley after, as it takes 10 mins for the injection to work and I could feed and cuddle them until the procedure took place. This is my own personal experience. I made damm sure they were safe and in good hands of a surgeon of 20 years.

It's interesting that both times of visiting the clinic with my DS' in 4 years how busy the surgeon was. There were at least 10 families in the waiting room from all walks of life.

Mumto2lovelyboys · 25/04/2010 13:05

Please excuse any typos. Typing one handed whilst feeding!

ScaredOne · 25/04/2010 13:26

Xenia, I for example would be for a ban. Unless of course for medical reasons. I would not want to have had my appendix or tonsils removed just because my mum wanted to either.

Lotster: That is just absolutely horrible! That would be a reason for divorce for me, I could never trust that man or the family again! Poor her.

KickArseQueen · 25/04/2010 13:33

Lotster! Thats shocking! Surely that is assault???

runnybottom · 25/04/2010 13:59

FFS, a tiny flap of skin with no consequence? . Just whip out your baby girls clitorises then, thats another small bit of nothing too isn't it?

It mutilatation to a child, and has real effects on their sexual abilities and experience. If you must do it, at least be honest about it.

Dollytwat · 25/04/2010 14:14

I'm finding some of the posts on here quite alarming.

If my DS doesn't have his done he's not going to have any kind of sex life.

TwatthewWright · 25/04/2010 14:21

Unless there is a medical reason then chopping off the end of a child/baby's penis is disgraceful.

ScaredOne · 25/04/2010 14:29

Dolly: But then most people say it is ok if you have a medical reason. I agree with that, especially after seeing my DP going through phimosis. It was painful but apparently not bad enough to need surgery, he managed to stretch it. We did say though that if it doesn't work out a circumcision might be necessary. BUt just doing it because you want to is wrong.
I am sure your son will be thankful you do it because as you say otherwise he wouldn't have a sex life at all (can imagine that after the case of phimosis I had here, sigh)

lotster · 25/04/2010 14:37

KickArseQueen - I know. It happened in Morocco so my sis didn't feel she was able to do anything about it. Except promptly file for divorce when she got home. Which she did. It was the straw that broke the camel's back in their short marriage sadly.

5DollarShake · 25/04/2010 14:47

If it's a tiny bit of skin of no consequence, then why not leave it where it is? Why bother removing it? Medical reasons notwithstanding.

I thought it was common knowledge that little boys with uncircumsized penises where taught to clean there, once they reached a certain age. From what I gather, it doesn't retract until about 3-4 years of age and shouldn't be tampered with before then, but at that point I thought that was something that Dads taught their sons as normal. Maybe I'm mistaken. I know we (well, DH) will be doing that.

WebDude · 25/04/2010 15:04

"the majority have had problems with their foreskin in their childhood and adult life"

Golly gosh, I wonder how the many millions of UK males who have not had this done have not been off to their doctor to beg for an end to these "problems" then ?

Perhaps you could be a bit more informative as to what "problems" have been reported, since I can think of no male who has ever mentioned any "problems"...

Mumto2lovelyboys · 25/04/2010 15:40

webdude I don't go around talking to men about their foreskins as I am female. My DH has spoken about it with many friends throughout his adult life and inflammation and infections are what I meant as 'problems' that were raised. Sorry I wasn't clear enough in my earlier posting. Mainly I was contributing to the thread with my own experience of both my DS' and the procedure that was involved.

SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus · 25/04/2010 16:50

Yabu and cruel to even think about it, how would you like it if somebody slit a hole in one of your flaps, then made you piss on it ??

Bloody barbaric unless for a medical reason

gorionine · 25/04/2010 17:22

Dollytwat, the different procedures are due to the fact that for DS1 we decided to do it in DH home country and have all the family arround for a party afterwards and it is the way they do it there.

For DS2 we wanted to go the same route but he was poorly while we were there and there was no way he was fit for any kind of procedure. We found a private clinic close to were we live when we came back so he had the procedure done in the UK by a doctor who uses the plastibell method.

Snorbs · 25/04/2010 18:06

"My DH has spoken about it with many friends throughout his adult life and inflammation and infections are what I meant as 'problems' that were raised."

The majority of women have had thrush. I don't see many people advocating otherwise unnecessary surgery on little girls to avoid an occasionally itchy fanjo.

LadyBiscuit · 25/04/2010 18:14

Mum2 - I don't know a single intact man who has had a problem with his foreskin. If you want to mutilate your children in the name of religion or cultural belief, then that's your prerogative, just please don't dress it up as being more healthy.

Snorbs · 25/04/2010 18:19

To be fair, I did catch my foreskin in my trouser zip when I was about 8 so I suppose that counts as a problem.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 25/04/2010 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

posieparker · 25/04/2010 18:28

No, please don't chop your son unless medically vital.

Have had cir'd and uncir'd much prefer uncir'd and it is rather more wet(TMI) which means initial beginnings of a quickie are far nicer!!

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 25/04/2010 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 25/04/2010 18:34

Don´t do it if not necessary.

My husband is circumcised & I prefer it-or maybe it´s because it´s what I´m used to.

Never had problems with a quickie,posie

It never occurred to us to have our son done though.
He has asked why he looks different to his father & it has been explained to him.
But it´s his decision.

AliGrylls · 25/04/2010 18:36

I don't understand why people are getting so upset about this topic. It is just a small flap of skin as a lot of people have correctly said, so who cares if it is there or not.

To say that having it removed from a young child is barbaric is completely wrong and it shows the ignorance about how the procedure is done. In a young child all they do is put a bit of local anaesthetic on and then clip the foreskin off.

I have a lot of Jewish friends who have done this to their babies and they have all said that the baby hardly noticed. We looked into it for our baby and decided not too but considering what friends have told me and having spoken to consultants it is really not that bad.

diddl · 25/04/2010 18:41

I think it´s the thought of it happening to someone who cannot decide for themselves and for no apparent reason.

And those who have had it done on babies-well, they are going to justify it, aren´t they?

AliGrylls · 25/04/2010 19:09

People may try to justify it on medical grounds and TBH I am sure that the only thing it does prevent against is phimosis and in this case they will need it done at a later stage when, in actual fact, it is a much more complicated procedure. Think about it another way - would you not innoculate your child because it may cause them pain and high fever for a day. The side effects are no worse for a circumcision than they are for an innoculation (in fact, they are probably less provided the person doing it is actually a doctor).

Alternatively, people may say that they did it purely for religious reasons. I really don't have a problem with this. After all, people do far worse in the name of religion and who cares, really about a little bit of foreskin. I know for a fact DH doesn't miss his!

posieparker · 25/04/2010 19:38

Here in the UK it is certainly not thought of as better.....

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