Circumcision?

[Claire236]

I've never started a thread in AIBU before as it can be quite scary so please be nice. My dh was circumcised as an adult for medical reasons & ds1 had to have an operation so has in effect been circumcised. ds2 (almost 5 months) is as nature intended but I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to have him circumcised. Firstly as that way he will grow up looking the same as his brother & dad which I think could make a difference to how he feels when he gets a bit older. Secondly because it seems more hygenic. I'm unsure due to the fact that ds1s op for horribly painful & I wouldn't want to put ds2 through that for no good reason. I haven't spoken to my GP about this so don't know when is normal to have it done or anything but I'd really like to know if people think I'm BU considering this.

Andrew, surely the people to ask about pre- or post- circumcision experience of sex are those circumcised as adults.

And there's the basic science, which is that we know there are nerve endings there which aren't there any more.

My eldest son was circumcised due to medical reasons, both him and myself found the whole thing pretty traumatic, he got very distressed when they put him under ga, I left the room and cried because he was so upset. It was painful and swollen for weeks later, he found it very hard to sleep. He is now 16 and doesn't seem to feel any different to his dad and brothers who arnt circumcised. His younger brother had the same condition to a lesser extent, when he got to the age of 5 the doctor advised trying to retract the foreskin in the bath, he hated this, he doesn't like the way it looks retracted, cried because it felt funny ( as it feels so sensitive retracted) god knows what he'd be like if he had to be circumcised! I just wouldn't put your son through the whole operation, recovery if you don't have to

Longtalljosie, logically you are right, but I don't know where you can find a queue of men done as adults, after their first sexual experience, and ready and willing to compare and contrast . . . do you?

And even if they did, there are so many other factors in play that you would never be comparing like with like. Even if the other party was the same person!

I don't understand how anyone could put their baby through that for religious reasons, I don't care what anyone says it must hurt , after having a baby on nicu and watching them ventilate, take blood and do various other procedures that although were needed caused the baby upset and discomfort I can't understand why anybody would choose to operate on their child for anything other than medical reasons! Sick sick sick!

My son (6) was circumcised a few weeks ago for medical reasons. It is horrible and an experience I wouldn't want to repeat (although I will have to as my DS3 has the same condition). My son has been in an awful lot of pain and is still swollen and scabby 4 weeks post-surgery. Although he is very pleased with the result (this was his third operation in that area and he had so much scar tissue that he was constantly getting infections and often couldn't feel when he needed a wee). But I certainly wouldn't do it unless necessary.

Circumcision for religious reasons is outdated and barbaric, imo.

Exactly lovesicecream - you don't understand. So perhaps butt out?

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all and your thoughts on the matter are to be expected and I think I would be thinking the same as you if only one of my boys was not circumcised. However, I do believe is more common to carry out the procedure when they are newborns.

AH there it is. Butt out. Someone pro-circumcision always ends up saying that. It's very hard not to have a view about cutting off bits of babies' genitals, sorry.

Andrewofgg I don't understand why anyone would do that to their child for religious reasons because as I said before my son had it done for medical reasons and it caused him pain, why the fucking hell would anyone put their child through that for no good reason, it's disgusting

I was circumcised in my 20s. I wish I had had it done as a small child. I don't see any reasons not to have it done to all boys. The foreskin doesn't serve a purpose in the modern Western World.

my oh was done in his late teens for medical reasons and i as a woman having had both prefer a man who has been cut.

my own sons are intact but only because it never occured to me to get them done but i dont see it as a big deal either way.

Cutting off a childs foreskin for anything other than medical reasons is barbaric, and assault on a child that should be able to determine what they want done to their own bodies when they reach a certain age.

Im really sure that those women who have their labias cut off in the name of religion would have chosen otherwise had they been able to make up their own minds.

How it comes to be that it is acceptable to butcher your own child in the name of religion beats me.

It sucks.

I have had many a willie being 46, had a few without skin and find oral sex without decidedly boring, give me a guy with his skin any day, much prefer it.

Looks better.

Apart from The second to last paragraph, I agree with fabby.

Op - yabvu

YABVVVVU.

Horrible idea.

I'm a doctor, I've seen lots of children having necessary surgery, including my own. I would never inflict that on a child for cosmetic (or religious) reasons.

It's cruel. Dress it up with history and religion and research as much as you like. It doesn't change that fact that you are asking someone to needlessly hurt your child, which is something that most of us avoid at all costs.

I am stunned you need to ask.

YABVVU. Leave it alone.

My brother had it done for medical reasons, and always vehemently counters the argument that it isn't painful.
He says he cannot imagining inflicting that on a tiny baby for no medical reason.

I havent read the whole thread so please forgive me if this has been covered. But, as my name suggests, I am in an African country devastated by HIV/AIDS and yes, the science is clear and unequivocal about circumcision reducing the risk of HIV transmission. I chose not to circumcise my own DS despite being Jewish so I am not putting this information forward to push circumcision. But circumcised men are less likely to contract HIV (though not of course entirely protected). That is the concensus of all organisations invovled in fighting the spread of HIV/AIDS in Africa, including the World Health Organisation and other UN bodies.

This does not neccessarily mean that anyone in the First World should choose to circumcise their son, but nor should we, as concerned and informed parents, pretend that this fact does not exist when making choices for our small boys.

OP, I entirely understand your desire to have your DS resemble his brother and father. I don't think YABU at all. But I am not convinced that this very understandable and to me sane impulse to have them all look the same is reason enough to circumcise, with all the pain and trauma involved.

Good luck with making your decision. I am sure you will choose the best for your family and your DS.

I remember when OP posted her question in April 2010.

Impressive since I can't remember much of what happened yesterday.

underafricanskies, I can't help feeling that for most of the people round here, the rate of HIV/AIDS would be greatly reduced if they didn't have sex with prostitues, share drug needles, poke each other up the bum, and refuse to use condoms.

Is it different where you come from?