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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to want Bride to use GHDs on DD?!

77 replies

BottleOfRum · 23/04/2010 15:18

DD is 3, and she will be a flower girl at a wedding next month. Bride is a (not particularly close) old school friend, who has shown many Bridezilla tendancies so far (female guests are requested to wear pastel colours etc). I believe the only reason my DD has been asked (as neither me nor DD are close to Bride) is because DD is a pretty waif-looking doll-like child, and will be good for wedding photos!!

Bride has just sent round an email to parents of bridesmaids, asking them to ensure their children are at hers by 8:30am on morning of wedding (not ideal, but fine), for "makeup and hair", and said that all girls would be having their hair curled with ghds and put up with flowers.

I don't want my DD's hair to be curled with GHDs, surely it isnt good for her hair at that age? None of the other mothers seem to have a problem with it, since they have replied to all saying "no problem" etc.

HOWEVER..... (don't yell at me) i once let my sister curl DD's hair before using GHD's, and put pictures on fb (sigh), although regretted it a lot the next day (stupid wine made me make stupid decisions). So do I really have a leg to stand on, since I've allowed it to be done before?

OP posts:
MiladyDeWinter · 23/04/2010 16:15

It should be OK if your DD doesn't mind. That reminds me, DH's best man's wife gave DD spiral curls, false nails, a faux fur cape and tiara for my wedding. I nearly had a fit when they all turned up at the registry office I'd just had her lovely silky bob cut at great expense as well. My husband was probably too nervous to notice bless him!

Needanewname · 23/04/2010 16:16

smallwhitecat you want to know what kind of nutjob would do this, I used to work in a hairdressers and this one mad women wanted to get her childrens hair permed - the youngest was only about 4. I am still horrifed the salon did it, though they reasoned that if we didn;t someone else would and at least we would take care with them and their hair!

Original poster
BottleOfRum · 23/04/2010 16:19

Thanks, smallwhitecat, I think thats what I really wanted! I wanted general consensus of "yes, she is a complete nutter. and v superficial". And I'm too scared nice to say it to her face!

JJH - am completely happy to turn this thread into a list of the bridezilla things she has done! Finally - a chance to get it out my system!! Pastel colours and curling my 3year old's hair is the tip of the iceberg - there was also a v expensive hen weekend to a spa, where there was also a dress code, and she told a friend not to bring her nissan micra because it wouldn't fit in with the 'look' of the spa!

If this sounds a tad too familiar to anyone, and you will be at the same wedding - please keep an eye out for me! I will be the one gluggling down wine in the corner, and wearing black nail polish to rebel against her 'pastels' theme!!

OP posts:
GoldenSnitch · 23/04/2010 16:21

ME and my 2 sisters were all waif like dolls with long, blonde hair. I've been a bridesmaid more times than I like to mention!!

I've had my hair curled and plaited and hair sprayed etc and intertwined with any number of gems, flowers and uncomfortable tiaras. Not to mention being forced to carry all sorts of crappery for one bride or another - hoops, sugar set, crocheted bags in the middle of summer!, flowers...

T'is just weddings I think.

Just make sure the photographer gets one picture of your DD on her own looking angelic and think of it as a free photo shoot

WolframAlpha · 23/04/2010 16:23

You are well within your rights to be truly over this behaviour.

What a nob.

jumpingjackhash · 23/04/2010 16:25

Well, I was willing to let her off with the curling, but not letting someone bring their car to the spa because it wouldn't fit with the look of the place is the behaviour of a complete zilla!

smallwhitecat · 23/04/2010 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 23/04/2010 16:28

lol at objecting to the nissan micra, well at all, but even so this was only the hen night!!
Hope the friend turned up on a harley instead

sarah293 · 23/04/2010 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

belgo · 23/04/2010 16:34

I don't understand why posters are saying if the child is happy then let her have the GHDs.

The child is three years old- how on earth can she be expected to make a decision like that?

BottleofRum- I totally understand why you want your dd to be bridesmaid as it should be a fun day for her, but I also understand your objection to the GHDs. -I'm still not entirely sure what they are btw - curlers or hair straighteners I assume heat or chemicals are involved? - if so, I wouldn't let my three year old have them other. The bride can make her wishes known, but you are the parent, you have the final say.

belgo · 23/04/2010 16:35

I had short dark hair as a child. I was never asked to be bridesmaid.

Pofacedagain · 23/04/2010 16:51

yes short mousey hair here belgo. Never asked. Frequently mistaken for a boy.

I think there is no chemicals involved, just heat? My dd would hate it as she doesn't like sitting still. That's what I mean about if the dd doesn't mind.

Don't get the bridezilla thing at all. Snort at the nissan micra ban.

shoptilidrop · 23/04/2010 16:54

yeah - my mum has just said this to me. DD is being her bridesmaid in two weeks time.
she said she would like her hair curled.

i said NO. i will blow dry it nicely and she can have it loose with the hair band my mum has got her.

she is 4.

BigWeeHag · 23/04/2010 16:55

DD has been flower girl twice and had the hair curled with GHDs twice, she has very very fine straight hair and there has been no noticable damage at all. And it looked very sweet - I remember being forced into having rags in my hair at her age, 20 mins at a hairdresser is much better!

5Foot5 · 23/04/2010 16:58

I think make up on a 3yo is totally inappropriate.

My DD would have hated this when she was twice that age. It was all I could do to get her to sit still long enough for me to put her hair in pigtails.

Am at this Bridezilla telling people they have to wear pastel shades!

Pofacedagain · 23/04/2010 17:12

Makeup definitely no.

KickArseQueen · 23/04/2010 21:23

PMSL!!

Just make sure that the car they leave in has "NISSAN MICRA" Written across the back of it for all the photos at they pull away.

pigletmania · 23/04/2010 21:31

If you are not close why accept your daughter to be bridesmaid . Like others have said fine if she is ok with it, and she has lots of hair, but i would not be happy with my dd 3.2 having her babyfluff hair being straightened as she has not got much of it anyway and worry that the starighners might burn her scalp.

SloanyPony · 23/04/2010 21:32

Curling with GHD's is not the same as straightening.

Straightening is one thing - you bring them through the hair at a reasonable pace, unless they are very, very curly or frizzy to start with.

Curling, however, you twirl sections of hair around in a circle, sort of (for want of a better way of describing it). Its easy to get a bit stuck halfway, depending on the length and condition of the hair, and the skill of the person doing it (which is really paramount, to be fair). Depending also the length of the hair (did you say bob? Probably okay really then to be fair).

I do doubt a one off would truly damage it, but do your research...

pigletmania · 23/04/2010 21:34

at not wanting a Nissan Micra and wedding party to wear pastel colours what a total bridezilla. Why are you going!

RunawayWife · 23/04/2010 21:35

As long as it GHDs and not cheap ones go for it

activate · 23/04/2010 21:36

no you're not being unreasonable

you can put up straight hair

and as for make-up on a 3 year old

tell her where to get off

catinboots · 23/04/2010 21:36

Smile and nod re the ghds. Then pull up outside the church in the biggest, oldest Nissan Bluebird you can lay your hands on...

pigletmania · 23/04/2010 21:38

I was never asked to be a bridesmaid, short mousy brown hair, big nose, uni brow you geddit I look better now than i did when i was a child he he he. My dd 3 would never sit still for it and would hate any type of pressure put on her hair, i cant even put them in tiny pigtails

catinboots · 23/04/2010 21:39
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