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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think i should get the housing points!

181 replies

emmymama · 19/04/2010 12:05

disclaimer... i'm not saying they should give me a house, i got pregnant, thats not their fault, even tho i knew it would be a squeeze, i'm saying i should have the opourtunity to get a house

i live in a very small 2 bed council house (if i sit on the floor with my back against the sofa my feet touch the fire guard).. ds's room fits a single bed and nothing else in

i have a 13 month old and i'm 23 weeks pg, there are steps into my front garden (only access) with a wall and gate (then the steps)that will not fit a double buggy in and its not close to my door

heres what i've explained to the council (ive been on the list since pg with dd so 18 months)

i will be sharing a room with dd and the new baby as the other room isnt big enough for dd's cot (or for me to give dd and ds that room as i wont fit the new baby in with me in the small room either)

i will have to (on the way out) take the double and leave the children in the house, set the pram up on the street then come back for the children and then the opposite on the way into the house (shoudl be fun after ive had a baby!)

so there will be overcrowding and access problems.. i dont get any extra points until the baby comes and i am having these problems

aibu to thing i should get the points now so i can apply for the houses to try and move before the problems arise?

hope that makes sense??

OP posts:
2shoes · 19/04/2010 19:51

SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus I just wanted to make the point.
we were lucky, top of list at the right time,

shesdrivingmecrazy · 19/04/2010 19:54

My friend lives in a two bed house.

They tried for a second child.

They got twins.

They've got 3 children in a small two bed house, they don't whine and expect the state to bail them out.

Phrenology · 19/04/2010 19:56

, here you may as well take it from us now and cut out the government.

Would you like our chip and pin numbers as well.

If you haven't got the space, make sure you have reliable contraception.

Did you actually answer the question re a partner, and does he work or am I paying for him as well ??

StarExpat · 19/04/2010 19:56

I don't usually get into these debates because I don't know a lot about the uk benefits system...
But, we own our tiny 1 bed maisonette. Trying currently to sell (putting on the market very soon!) and buy a 2 bed but ds is now 18 months and it's not easy to afford. We're trying our best. But I wouldn't even consider having another child at this point because we couldn't afford to have 2 in childcare and can't afford not to keep our careers going, either.

I definitely don't understand how people feel entitled to be taken care of by the government... unless you are disabled or caring for disabled.

RunawayWife · 19/04/2010 20:02

Council housing is a joke.
My mother is wheelchair dependent, she has one leg and she lives in a two bedroom council house that she can not access the first floor of, she "lives" in the living room and kitchen with no access to bedrooms or toilet/bathroom.

Her council will not move her she needs a one level bungalow or flat and the house would make a nice family home for someone.

My aunt has a 3 bedroom house all to herself it makes my wonder if councils know what people need at all

Eddas · 19/04/2010 20:08

I don't think HA/Council can make people move out of larger houses even if they don't really need them any longer. I beleive they do offer incentives if people do downsize. I think people should be made to move if they are in an oversized house to make way for people who need the house. For examply dh's nan & grandad live in either a 2 or 3 bed house and it's just them. They'll never move as they've been there a long time, which I understand, but they've been living there as a couple for years. Why don't the council/HA make them move to somewhere smaller so a family can have their house.

The whole system's a joke.

toccatanfudge · 19/04/2010 20:09

Runaway - is it that they won't move her - or can't?

My parents waited 3yrs for a bungalow with level acccess for my mum as there were just none available until then (they were top of the list)

RunawayWife · 19/04/2010 20:10

Saying that I wanted two children, could afford 2 children and was blessed with 2 children....

They have a bedroom each (not council house) and we can afford to feed, clothe and take care of two children we are lucky.... if we had 3 or 4 or 5 we would be buggered every which way.

Large families can be lovely but if you can not afford the expense or do not have the room then maybe a trip to the family planning clinic is advised

Missus84 · 19/04/2010 20:11

Can we try to remember that social housing is not "free housing" or a handout The OP may or may not get housing benefit, but so might people renting privately.

toccatanfudge · 19/04/2010 20:12
GypsyMoth · 19/04/2010 20:14

Eddas......if you're paying the rent then size of house doesn't matter, it's paid. You can't move people on and then on again as each child leaves home or if someone dies!!

Missus84 · 19/04/2010 20:17

"I don't think HA/Council can make people move out of larger houses even if they don't really need them any longer. I beleive they do offer incentives if people do downsize. I think people should be made to move if they are in an oversized house to make way for people who need the house. For examply dh's nan & grandad live in either a 2 or 3 bed house and it's just them. They'll never move as they've been there a long time, which I understand, but they've been living there as a couple for years. Why don't the council/HA make them move to somewhere smaller so a family can have their house.

The whole system's a joke. "

The poitn of social housing is that it's stable, long-term - moving people in and out when circumstances change is what breaks down communities.

The system is a "joke" because we sold off loads of council housing and didn't build anymore! Huge mistake - massive building is needed now to sort things out.

Eddas · 19/04/2010 20:23

I agree that the houses shouldn't have been sold off and more need building. I do however believe that even if people are paying for the right size house that they should be persuaded to move. The incentives clearly aren't working. in no way should people be made to leave but it makes no sense to have an elderly couple in a 2/3 bed house when they are badly needed for families, surely you can see my point. The incentives, from what I understand from MIL are a few thousand to downsize from a 3 bed to a 2. Maybe they could offer free rent for a year or something, surely there has to be a way. It just seems a nonsense to me.

Missus84 · 19/04/2010 20:23

RunawayWife - do they have a bidding system where your mother is? If so you can check each week to see if there are any suitable properties.

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/04/2010 20:26

Phrenology, past posts from the OP mention a partner living with her. Thats why I suggested he could work overtime/second job etc to save for a deposit.

Phrenology · 19/04/2010 20:32

Phrenology, past posts from the OP mention a partner living with her. Thats why I suggested he could work overtime/second job etc to save for a deposit.

Oh good one less to pay for.

expatinscotland · 19/04/2010 20:35

'sofa bed in the loung for you then - I knew a family that did that so the children could have bedrooms.'

I personally know several people who do this.

I know many more who grew up in flats where the parents slept on a sofa bed in the living room.

And in the 'good ol' days' not too long ago, you'd be talking about a family with three kids or more all living in one room.

You're so lucky to have a garden and a house, not a flat.

Again, you have inconveniences, not access issues.

People with access issues through disability, and there are so many still on wait lists because of lack of availability, are always going to get priority over someone who is inconvenienced by a buggy problem.

But the newborn in a sling, look at a used Phil and Teds (or use your Sure Start Grant to buy one).

twittertotter · 19/04/2010 20:36

YABU, lots of people live in small houses,I'm in third floor flat with no garden. I have a 9mth old and one on the way, have to put baba in a sling, collape pram and carry up 3 flights of stairs . Often woth shopping etc.

I cant afford to move - why should you expect something better to be handed to you on a platter?

Missus84 · 19/04/2010 20:47

Think people are being very unfair on the OP - she's not saying she wants anything handed to her on a platter, but why wouldn't she want the opportunity to move somewhere bigger? Her question was just about whether she should be eligible for a bigger place before the new baby is born. Has she even said she gets benefits?

I'll be applying for a bigger place once my baby is born too - I know the houses might not be available, but I'll still be hoping there is one!

donkeyderby · 19/04/2010 20:50

To those who scoffed at my comment regarding the unnacceptability of being able to touch the fireplace with her feet....I read it that she was able to sit on the sofa (not the floor by the sofa) and touch the fireplace. My mistake made me think she must be living in a lift shaft! I'm glad you got a laugh out of it though, you all sound like you need cheering up.

The embittered, DM rants of people on here against the OP make me realise that Thatcherism has infected most people's heads and that any ideals of decent housing for decent rents have been all but obliterated by years of selling off LA housing and allowing the private rented sector to spiral out of control with their extortionate prices.

I personally think everyone deserves a reasonable standard of housing at reasonable rents. The sky high rents and house prices and the sale of council housing just means more money being sucked out of the system through Housing Benefit and more people stuck in a benefits trap.

I have a severely disabled child and I did not get anywhere with council housing despite having to share a room with my son until he was aged 7 and carrying him up and down three flights of stairs. However, I can still muster a bit of sympathy for the OP because her situation isn't great either.

toccatanfudge · 19/04/2010 20:51

fine then once she needs the extra space and is eligble to put her name down for a bigger house then she can do, in the mean time she's just going to put up with it,

fartblossom · 19/04/2010 20:52

Im not going to comment much on the posts cause I think its all been said. I will say, however in regards to downsizing where I live you go into a higher band if you want to go down a bedroom. Last year we were offered the chance to move into a new 2 bedroom flat with loads of help moneywise from the council. The only thing that stopped us was that we have a DS and a DD and even though now they are classed as being young enough to share a room, we would have to move one day (or would we, I never knew living rooms were classed as sleeping space till now)

Talking about crowded........

When my dad was a boy he lived with his mum, his dad, his brother, his sister, his aunt and her husband plus their 2 children plus another family in a 2 bedroom terrace house.

Ivykaty44 · 19/04/2010 20:59

when my aunt was pg with her first, she had to go into the back yeard to let her husband get into the kitchen, they moved back in with her parents when they had two babies, had their third baby with her parents and then had enugh money to move to another house...

You may have to wait

ande · 19/04/2010 21:01

It is posts on threads like this that make me hold my head and want to weep.

donkeyderby, well said, thank you.

4madboys · 19/04/2010 21:03

i agree i think some people have been harsh toward the op, she only asked why she couldt go on the list for a bigger property before the baby was born, those are the rules tho so i am sure she will suck it up

she did use contraception and still got pregnant, it happens, she used the pill succesfully for 8 yrs so why would she think that it wouldnt work after her dd was born?

we have four boys, one more baby on the way, hopefully as i am only 9 wks, we live in a three bed house, which we own/have a mortgage on and cant afford to move, but tbh i dont find it that much of a squeeze, baby will sleep in with us till its 2 or 3 as all the boys have done, then we will have two kids to each of the other bedrooms until we can convert the loft! its not that bad, i have steps to my house to, its a pita, but you deal with it, get a pushchair with big wheels so you can bump it up or down, or like i did in my old house, i had to fold pram up and down and set it up in the street, which was on a steep hill by a busy road, it was a pita, but you get on with i am afraid!

good luck with your pregnancy and congratulations, i am sure it will all work out ok xxx