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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think i should get the housing points!

181 replies

emmymama · 19/04/2010 12:05

disclaimer... i'm not saying they should give me a house, i got pregnant, thats not their fault, even tho i knew it would be a squeeze, i'm saying i should have the opourtunity to get a house

i live in a very small 2 bed council house (if i sit on the floor with my back against the sofa my feet touch the fire guard).. ds's room fits a single bed and nothing else in

i have a 13 month old and i'm 23 weeks pg, there are steps into my front garden (only access) with a wall and gate (then the steps)that will not fit a double buggy in and its not close to my door

heres what i've explained to the council (ive been on the list since pg with dd so 18 months)

i will be sharing a room with dd and the new baby as the other room isnt big enough for dd's cot (or for me to give dd and ds that room as i wont fit the new baby in with me in the small room either)

i will have to (on the way out) take the double and leave the children in the house, set the pram up on the street then come back for the children and then the opposite on the way into the house (shoudl be fun after ive had a baby!)

so there will be overcrowding and access problems.. i dont get any extra points until the baby comes and i am having these problems

aibu to thing i should get the points now so i can apply for the houses to try and move before the problems arise?

hope that makes sense??

OP posts:
SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus · 19/04/2010 17:07

Anyone who can't figure out that 7 people are going to struggle in 1.5 bedrooms shouldnt be reproducing at all !!

It's bloody selfish, no matter how nice they are.

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/04/2010 17:11

"I often wonder how the pregnancy rates would drop if benefits for children conceived to people who are unworking, unhoused were stopped"

Dramatically probably, people can have children now under this government without any financial thought as to how they will support them. Luckily not everybody thinks like this though and many have the number of children they can support themselves.

I dont think benefits should increase based on the number of children and I certainly disagree with having children whilst on benefits and no means to financially support them themselves.

Yes, there will be cases of losing a job whilst pregnant etc where a safety net is needed but many now see it simply as a lifestyle choice so as not to work/get more benefits/bigger house etc. The number of children born into "throwaway relationships" is saddening.

Missus84 · 19/04/2010 17:18

LMHF - there just isn't enough social housing for everyone who wants one, especially 3+ bedroom family houses, that's the problem.

I think it's probably an issue the OP will face too - even once the baby is born and you're eligible for a 3 bed house, there may not be any 3 beds available. In my area there is a bidding system, and every week all the 3 bed houses get 100+ bids on them. If I were you I'd be thinking of a back-up plan too - mutual exchange may be a possibility, especially if you're prepared to move out of the area. The website to do that is www.homeswapper.co.uk.

hippipotamiHasLost80lbs · 19/04/2010 17:23

Blimey - based on the OP's description of her house I too am underaccomodated. Shall contact council forthwith. Oh doh, I own this house!
I too can touch the fireplace with my feet when sitting on the sofa.
I too am unable to get a pram out of the house (damn those narrow victorian hallways, no pram will fit except a small buggy)
I too have had children share a room, and now ds finally has his own room, but it is a make-shift one in the loft and headhight is only 6ft in the centre of the room (a strip around a foot wide) the rest of it is sloping roof. Oh, and we had to cut his bed down to get it to fit - let's hope he has not inherited my 6ft1 gene!!

I think you are not in immediate need. Could you swap some rooms around - turn a bedroom into the lounge and the lounge into a bedroom for instance? There are ways and means.

And finally - why have so many children? I would dearly love a third, but it is not going to happen. We don't have the space and can't afford to move / extend.
Would it not be common sense to plan your family around your circumstances??

Oh and thank you to the poster of the "So you can sit on your sofa and your feet touch the fireplace? That is not acceptable in 2010 in a wealthy country, it really isn't."
Best laugh I have had in a long time (I assume you did mean to be sarcastic??)

toccatanfudge · 19/04/2010 17:24

haven't read the thread - but I presume you'd have your baby in with you to start with anyhow, and then you can just swap the rooms can't you so you have the small single and they share your room?

Missus - (just seen your post as I was adding my message)

she won't be entitled to a 3 bedroom house once the baby is born - she'll have 2 children - they count as 1/2 each - so 2 bedroom.

Original poster
emmymama · 19/04/2010 17:25

i will have 3 children, managed to lose a few sentences about ds in my op, sorry for confusion...

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/04/2010 17:25

LMHF - I am not really very sympathetic when if we want to buy a house with an extra bedroom it will cost us in the region of 40/50K where we live. This has made us wait longer than we would have liked to try for a second child, and all but give up on the hope of having a third. We cannot afford to buy the space to house a family of that size.
Why on earth are they having another child when they are already overcrowded and reliant on the state providing their housing?

OP - BFing is not recommended as contraception beyond inclusion of solids, and becomes ineffective sooner if your baby sleeps for longer than 6 hours in one stretch and therefore goes without a feed. From what you have said, your 13mo would have been 7/8 months at time of conception.
All that aside, where is your chidren's father and why is he not contributing to providing a home for you all?

toccatanfudge · 19/04/2010 17:26

sofa bed in the loung for you then - I knew a family that did that so the children could have bedrooms.

Missus84 · 19/04/2010 17:27

The OP will have 3 children once the baby is born, where I am at least that makes you eligible to apply for 3 beds. It doesn't make you "entitled" though, because there's no guarantee you'll get it!

toccatanfudge · 19/04/2010 17:28

yes sorry just seen that she will have 3 children.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/04/2010 17:28

meant to say 'an additional 40/50K' on top of what we paid for this house.

MillyMollyMoo · 19/04/2010 17:49

sofa bed in the loung for you then - I knew a family that did that so the children could have bedrooms.

The thing is I have often thought whilst looking at houses £100k extra than the one we have that we'd need in order that our children all have their own bedroom, beside storing clothes I never actually spend time in my bedroom, a sofa bed wouldn't be the end of the world at all.

runnybottom · 19/04/2010 17:53

"Opposite us lives a woman with 4 kids and one on the way, the DH has had to move out, cos there is no space. Her house is the exact copy of ours, she has no space whatsoever to swing a cat."

Maybe he should have moved out earlier, then they wouldn't have 5 children in a 2 bed house?

Boo hoo, I keep having children I can't housse, somebody has to fix it for me, write to the MP quick? FFS.

viks14 · 19/04/2010 18:07

CirrhosisByTheSea

I couldn't have put it better myself. I am all for the council helping people but if everyone got everything they wanted, what would be the need to work?!

My friend has got to the top of her housing list, but she has got a terminally ill DD who needs special equipment. She is in a predicament through no fault of her own and deserves all the help she can get.

viks14 · 19/04/2010 18:12

....plus, I was brought up a tiny terraced house and my Dad had to make the big bedroom into 2 really small ones but we all managed.

I am sure my Mum and Dad would have loved to have a house with lots of room and easy access but they managed.

People who own their own homes just have to manage until they can afford to move or extend.....

LEMneedsaholiday · 19/04/2010 18:30

Well, i have two children - my eldest is 19, the youngest is 4 - my DD1 currently lives with her boyfriend, it is not necessarily a "permanent" arangement. One day she might come home - that will be a big problem because we live in a 2.5 bedroom house - 2.5 = you have to walk through one very small bedroom to get to the third. The third room was DD1's it is now DD2 - im not entirely sure what will happen when and if DD2 comes home. Maybe i should apply to the council for a proper three bedroom house

You have a house - you are lucky

curryfreak · 19/04/2010 19:05

Sounds like you have a sense of massive entitlement! You have a two bedroomed house, with some access problems. There are plenty of people in privately rented accomadation with your 'problems'
I'll think you'll survive. But maybe think about not having any more children for a while, if you're struggling as hard as you say(hmm)

2shoes · 19/04/2010 19:09

viks14 please don't assume that council house - not working.
we live in a HA house not by choice and not due to not working(we uesed to have our own house) but due to dd's needs.

gingernutlover · 19/04/2010 19:10

My freind just had her 4th child. They live in a 2 bedroom house and on weekends the step daughter stays too making 7 in 2 bedrooms.

They privately rent, they cant afford a bigger house, they manage

SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus · 19/04/2010 19:25

I agree 2shoes and fwiw me and dp used to rent a council house, but somehow managed not to overfill it then demand something bigger.

most people who rent council houses work imo anyways, and those that don't arent the issue.

The issue is people who arent supporting themselves yet continue to breed and expect reward for it thus taking housing away from people who need it, low income families, disabled people, people who have lost there home for whatever reason etc

AmazingBouncingFerret · 19/04/2010 19:30

I understand your concern. Pregnancy hormones are probably not helping. You'll manage. Honest. It'll most likely not be as bad as you are imagining it to be.

I have 2 in a 2 bed flat, at the moment DD is in with us but once she is old enough we will move her cot into DS's room.

We live on the third floor, people often pull those sympathy faces when they hear that but honestly... it's not that hard and I have limited mobility due to a back problem!
IKEA do some excellent shelving systems that are really reasonable. Good storage really does work wonders.

Congratulations on the pregnancy btw.

shesdrivingmecrazy · 19/04/2010 19:40

Well, I expect some people will come on here and accuse everyone of benefits bashing.

But Hippi has summed it up in one sentence:

"Would it not be common sense to plan your family around your circumstances??"

People get PISSED OFF at this complete failure to plan or provide because the welfare state will just provide whatever you want and you'll never have to go without.

I think you were absolutely ridiculous to have a third child given your circumstances.

Grow up.

toccatanfudge · 19/04/2010 19:44

Milly - agree with you there, I frequently sleep on the sofa anyhow - and I have a large double bedroom all to myself

Quattrocento · 19/04/2010 19:49
  1. 2 beds, 3 people seems okay
  2. You probably won't need a double buggy. No1 will be walking by the time you've had No2.
  3. The explanation on the sleeping arrangements is incomprehensible

Not meaning to be unsympathetic but the world would love free housing. You've got some. You're lucky.

gingernutlover · 19/04/2010 19:51

quat, she has 2 children already, there will be 4 of them once baby is born.

But totally agree with all your other points