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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think i should get the housing points!

181 replies

emmymama · 19/04/2010 12:05

disclaimer... i'm not saying they should give me a house, i got pregnant, thats not their fault, even tho i knew it would be a squeeze, i'm saying i should have the opourtunity to get a house

i live in a very small 2 bed council house (if i sit on the floor with my back against the sofa my feet touch the fire guard).. ds's room fits a single bed and nothing else in

i have a 13 month old and i'm 23 weeks pg, there are steps into my front garden (only access) with a wall and gate (then the steps)that will not fit a double buggy in and its not close to my door

heres what i've explained to the council (ive been on the list since pg with dd so 18 months)

i will be sharing a room with dd and the new baby as the other room isnt big enough for dd's cot (or for me to give dd and ds that room as i wont fit the new baby in with me in the small room either)

i will have to (on the way out) take the double and leave the children in the house, set the pram up on the street then come back for the children and then the opposite on the way into the house (shoudl be fun after ive had a baby!)

so there will be overcrowding and access problems.. i dont get any extra points until the baby comes and i am having these problems

aibu to thing i should get the points now so i can apply for the houses to try and move before the problems arise?

hope that makes sense??

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 19/04/2010 16:08

Sorry but I have to laugh at donkey expressing outrage at being able to touch your fireplace while on the sofa.

in every room of my cottage you can do that - the largest room is 9 foot by 11 foot.

And I don't live in a rabbit hutch, I just live in a Victorian cottage in the Home Counties .

Strawbezza · 19/04/2010 16:11

Emmymama - where's your children's dad in all this?

AxisofEvil · 19/04/2010 16:11

I can see that it would be more convenient to move before the baby comes but until that happens you don't actually have the space/access issues so it would be logical to get the points only then.

But TBH it doesn't sound like you are taking that much responsiblity for your position, more that you're expecting the council to sort it all for you.

Rollmops · 19/04/2010 16:13

Where is the father of the children in all this?
Have you considered going on the pill as it's obvious you expect the state to take care of you and it would only be nice to show some consideration for the said state?
[awaits for the barrage of empty crisp bags and profanities]

mummytotwins · 19/04/2010 16:15

whether YABU ot not I wont say but what I will say is 'good luck with it'!!

With 6 month old twins I had to leave my home as it was tied to my job (forced to resign - whole other story) anyway applied for housing and got turned don flat, then got told to get my DH to move out for a few months to bump us up the list!!

When we went in the office the last time I actually said to the fella there, 'If I was a crack whore I would have a house by now' whilst looking shamefaced he nodded!

we had to rent privatley, why not try the same?

Original poster
emmymama · 19/04/2010 16:17

ive looked into private but would need £1000 for deposit,rent in advance and admin fees!! i'm on the look out for adverts in house windows with lower deposit and applied but no luck

OP posts:
Missus84 · 19/04/2010 16:21

"When we went in the office the last time I actually said to the fella there, 'If I was a crack whore I would have a house by now' whilst looking shamefaced he nodded!"

Yeah, cos that's the way it works - extra points for prostitutes

mummytotwins · 19/04/2010 16:22

try your local paper instead of estae agents etc so there are no admin fees, we found our house on gumtree in the end, good luck x

bearcrumble · 19/04/2010 16:26

What were your reasons for choosing to get pregnant again?

Original poster
emmymama · 19/04/2010 16:29

contraceptive failure.......

OP posts:
AxisofEvil · 19/04/2010 16:29

You should investigate whether you council will do deposit guarantees/bonds for people in your position - some will.

MillyMollyMoo · 19/04/2010 16:30

Oh dear, my friend has just been given a council house after 11 years on the list, with three children and the house is 16 miles from where she works and the children have to go to school.
Anything she saves on rent will now go on petrol but at least she has the security of knowing the woman next door has two convictions for GBH and throws litter into her garden.

And she feels really lucky.

SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus · 19/04/2010 16:31

Guess what, when I sit by the sofa my feet touch the fireguard toob

We barely have room to swing a cat but unfortunately are stuck as we own our own home.

I had to st up babies pram etc on the st, most people do.

Can't afford to move as i'm a carer to both my children who are disabled.

We COULD flog the house and throw ourselves on the mercy of the council but we don't work like that.

I would love another child but can't house/provide for anymore so have stuck at two.

Tbh, I find some peoples sense of entitlement disgusting

Original poster
emmymama · 19/04/2010 16:33

the post was asking for the chance to apply for a house not for them to hand me one on a plate.....

OP posts:
SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus · 19/04/2010 16:35

And in 10 yrs, despite falling pregnant instantly with my two who were planned, I have NEVER had a contraceptive failure.

Maybe because i'm uber cautious and aware how much it costs to provide/house extra children.......

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/04/2010 16:36

Opposite us lives a woman with 4 kids and one on the way, the DH has had to move out, cos there is no space. Her house is the exact copy of ours, she has no space whatsoever to swing a cat.

She has nowhere near enough points to have any realistic chance of getting a house big enough for her family. The LHA will only pay for a 3bed house when she ought to be in a 4 bed house. Why is she living like this"

I'm with Worzel on this one, she chose to have those children knowing the size of the house so why the outrage and writing to the MP? If she wants a bigger house then she and her partner could private rent or buy.

Lots of people have one or two children because of lack of space or finances, it then makes a mockery when people have more and expect the state to provide for them in terms of financing and housing.

Original poster
emmymama · 19/04/2010 16:37

maybe the pill works better for you? i took it when i was supposed to and i breastfeed... 2 children was enough for me, especially with ds!

OP posts:
gingernutlover · 19/04/2010 16:42

when the baby arrives, you will get the points - sorry cant see the problem, you can apply for the chance to get a bigger house then.

Several people have asked if the childrens' father is able to help, you don't seem to mention him at all in your posts - is it a possibility.

My dd is 4 years old, we own our own house and I have to work to pay bills, I would love another child but we cannot because we cannot afford it, no amount of points would make a difference to me. I make totally sure that I wont get pregnant, if the pill doesnt work so well, do something else.

gingernutlover · 19/04/2010 16:44

sorry, my last sentence sounds really bitchy - I think I was trying to make the point that we don't always get everythign we want - and actually you will get your points after the baby is born so I dont think you are that hard done by tbh.

mayb1day · 19/04/2010 16:46

If you're already in council accommodation, you could try for a mutual exchange.

Original poster
emmymama · 19/04/2010 16:48

i know what you mean, no he cant help

the pill worked for 8 years after i had ds.. thats why theres a big gap and then a little gap

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 19/04/2010 16:52

As your DP lives with you, why cant he help? Overtime, second job, some form of extra self employment would all help with a deposit and moving costs to assist with renting private.

Even after the baby is born the council may not move you for a long time as the baby can share and two children can easily share a room.

SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus · 19/04/2010 16:53

I have a coil fitted AND we use condoms.

Before that I had an implant AND we used condoms, it is doable.

Me and dp are both on the waiting list to be sterilised such is our determination not to have another child.

I often wonder how the pregnancy rates would drop if benefits for children conceived to people who are unworking, unhoused were stopped.......

LittleMissHissyFit · 19/04/2010 16:59

Worzel et al: Oh sure she has a lot of DC, all under 6, but tbh is it their fault she can't move up to a larger house?

If she left that house it'd be free for someone else, with a smaller household. She is living in a council property, but needs more space.

She could go private, there are many, many private rentals available, if she had the deposit, but the monthly LHA won't stretch to a house that would have the right amount of bedrooms to house her family suitably.

Perhaps I was misunderstood, I'm not outraged, just sad that she can't get what other people who have never contributed seem to get at the drop of a hat.

7 people into a 1 and a half bedroom house doesn't go, however you look at it.

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/04/2010 17:03

LMHF, why should she not take responsibility for her own actions? She and her partner chose to have all those children knowing the size of the house. Why should she then expect a bigger house because of her lifestyle choice.

If LHA payments wont cover her ideal house, then she could always look at working around her partners hours to "gasp" cover the rent themselves.