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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it is offensive for some one to roll thier eyes when you are talking to them.

29 replies

meatntattypie · 19/04/2010 12:03

FFS its just rude.

Got a child from dss class coming for tea.
He has been to this childs house for tea about a month ago.
When i asked the mother if it was ok for me to pick ds up at 6 she asked "why so early?"
Ds is in bed for 7 so needs shower and to do reading etc.
She said "oh well, i had better make tea extra early then, that is a really early bed time isnt it?"
ds is 6 boy is 7.

So i asked what time she wanted her boy home, she said "what time is best for you?"
I said "about 6 cos ds is in bed for 7?"
" well, 6 i suppose" then ROLLED HER EYES.

WTF?!
Thats just rude isnt it!

OP posts:
shesdrivingmecrazy · 19/04/2010 12:04

Yes it is.

I roll my eyes when I talk to my Mum on the phone a lot. Did it talking to her on skype recently.

Was at my rudeness.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/04/2010 12:06

Yes, she is rude - however she clearly sees your bedtime as you casting aspersions on her parenting skills ie. you saying her kid should be in bed at 7.

Clearly she thinks the whole world is about her. Stop doing playdates with this kid - who needs the hassle?

soapboxqueen · 19/04/2010 12:08

It shows lack of respect and is condesending. There was a study in the states that couples who rolled their eyes when the other spoke were far more likely to break up. I think about it everytime I roll my eyes at my dh

scurryfunge · 19/04/2010 12:09

Really rude -seems she is opinionated about your DS's routine -not a lot you can do about her attitude though

tethersend · 19/04/2010 12:10
PuppyMonkey · 19/04/2010 12:12

She is bvu... but I do wish there was a "rolls eyes" emoticon on MN now you mention it.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 19/04/2010 12:12

god, how rude! Personally, I'd cancel the playdate and never bother with her again, what an awful woman.

(your son gets plenty of time with hers at school, don't buy into the guilt thing re your ds! )

Earlybird · 19/04/2010 12:13

Wild guess - is it possible your ds is a pfb, and hers is not?

Shaz10 · 19/04/2010 12:15

It is offensive. But maybe she was trying to be.

displayuntilbestbefore · 19/04/2010 12:18

Yes, it is rude to roll your eyes like that but also IMO rude to try and shift what she wants to do onto your wishes for your own family routine. I have 2 DCs at school and a few times have come across mothers considering my idea of a collection time as too early as if in some way I am not allowing my own DCs enough freedom (this isn't the case btw, but the ladies in question seem to think that unless my DCs spend the whole day at her house with two meals and going into the evening, it's not a long enough time to go round for a play).
If you want her to collect her child at 6pm because it will fit in with your family's bedtime, then she should accept that instead of trying to get some extra childfree time with you as a sitter

CirrhosisByTheSea · 19/04/2010 12:19

even if the woman thinks the OP was being 'precious' (in having a set bedtime for a six year old?!) that is no reason for the utter rudeness of rolling your eyes at her!

zippy79 · 19/04/2010 12:20

YANBU- The woman sounds like she needs to learn some manners

Original poster
meatntattypie · 19/04/2010 12:21

Earlybird.....Its still rude no matter if my ds is a pfb and hers is not.

is it a trait of having a pfb that they go to bed at a decent time?
he is utterly knacked by 7 and ready for bed,(still up at 6.30 no matter what time he goes to be )

OP posts:
thehillsarealive · 19/04/2010 12:22

I roll my eyes all the time, must be more conscious of it. I must be very very rude or easily irritated!

Original poster
meatntattypie · 19/04/2010 12:23

AND i am on a night shift tonight, dont want to be herdign the kids before i have to go to work.

6 isnt unreasonable is it?

OP posts:
brogan2 · 19/04/2010 12:28

Earlybird, it's not being PFB to expect a bit of common courtesy.

I'm on my third and I'd still think that's rude. I'm not sure the further on in the line the later the bed thing is usually true. Not so in this house anyway.

That aside, it's just plain rude to sigh and comment when someone is having your child for a playdate.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 19/04/2010 12:29

6pm is not unreasonable at all, I've NEVER had a playdate that ended later.

Earlybird · 19/04/2010 12:29

No, she is definitely being rude and I'm not making excuses for her or defending her actions.

Just thinking about the 'likely' situation between you and her.......btw, was I right?

Jamieandhismagictorch · 19/04/2010 12:30

meatntatty

YANBU. Rude to roll eyes. She doesn't sound very nice

and to answer your question, it sometimes a trait of those who (like myself) have more than one DC to roll their eyes internally (if you can imagine such a thing) at those with a pfb.

< is not rolling her eyes, internally or externally >

brogan2 · 19/04/2010 12:30

Meant to add, Ive never had a playdate thats ended later than 6pm- That seems the usual time for them to end.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 19/04/2010 12:32

yes - 6pm is usual in this house too - and i have a 9 year old

brogan2 · 19/04/2010 12:32

The difference is that with my first, I would have ignored said rudeness and sucked it up. Now, I'd just tell her to piss off.

Original poster
meatntattypie · 19/04/2010 12:33

Earlybird.....reluctantly have to admit that you are right yes!!! hehehe!
Mine is also an only, she has 2, one younger than the 7 year old.
From what i can gether, her two are never in bed at a set time as they just wont go down.
Think the older boy is up and down till after 10pm most nights.

I have always had a strict bedtime routine as my son didnt sleep trhought he night till he was 4. It was the saviour of my sanity.

OP posts:
ShadeofViolet · 19/04/2010 12:34

YANBU - it is rude to roll your eyes at someone.

I agree with Brogan, I do lots of playdates and most of them have ended by 6, 6.30 at the latest. I have had enough of all the noise and mess by then

Earlybird · 19/04/2010 12:39

Ah, I thought that might be the case! But, as i said before, no excuse for her rudeness.

I have a pfb, and an only, so lord knows how many people have wanted to roll their eyes at me! But none have been rude enough to do it to my face!