to think that you shouldn't be able to get a thread deleted just because you don't like what people are saying?

[OhBuggerandArse]

I can perfectly well understand that you might need to ask for a thread to be deleted if you've given away too much personal information by mistake, or if it's descended into abuse, or something like that.

But the FIL loan-with-interest thread, while many posters were challenging the OP's take on the situation, was perfectly respectful IMO. People's perfectly legitimate opinions, and a lot of very helpful advice which must have taken a long time for them to put together, have been deleted; is this simply because izziebear was finding it a bit uncomfortable, or is there some procedure for deciding which threads should be removed that isn't clear from the site guidelines?

MNHQ decide on the basis of teh request and the content of the thread whether to pull it.

They do not delete a thread unless they are sure it is necessary.

i didn't see much of the other trhead so can't comment on that one.

YANBU.

I noticed it was gone.

Also noticed the OP had been rumbled as a possible fake, having stated in earlier posts that she had a child of a different age and gender from the one in the FIL thread.

Maybe it was all a bit uncomfortable for her. No I think she should have the right to ask for it to be deleted if she feels too horrible about it. I kn ow that there were good and clear posts there and they are not wasted because hopefully izziebear took some ideas from them and will maybe think about the things said.

FWIW I felt she could work but still didn't get the whole charging interest to a family member thing. That is just me though as I couldn't do it personally.

If MNHQ discovered she was a troll they would have pulled it i'm sure.

There was certainly nothing abusive or rude, and actually a lot of good advice.

The only reason I can see is that she'd been exposed as lying.

Ho hum

It certainly seems to be if you don't like what you're reading, have it deleted. Sad really that grown ups can't deal with opinions that they asked for in the first place! So people don't say what you wanted them to say. Deal with it!

It makes me laugh, tbh. It's very childish. Stick your fingers in your ears and go la-la-la-la-la! Does deleting a thread mean MNHQ reach into the brains of everyone that's read it and deletes the memory? No. So presumably those on the thread-including the OP, recall what was said? So the point of deleting is?....

ner-ner-ner-ner-ner mn deleted it I win you're not allowed to be mean to me.

I'm going to tell my mummy you're being mean to me.

It's my ball and I'm going home.

It was actually me who asked about the different information about her child she'd given in an earlier post. But I'd have liked to see what she said about it herself rather than just having the whole thing obliterated.

I'd put money on it being a bit of trollery. My own, of course, rather than my FIL's.

I hate that kind of trolling, where it seems entirely plausible and lots of people spend a great deal of time trying to help.

Yes, it was OhBuggerandArse & I pointed it out again.

Maybe the truth hurts?

I read the thread but didn't comment, I thought it was unlikely to be true, especially with the belated "reveal" that she had PND.

Lots of great sensible advice from posters though

Hi all. We don't delete threads simply for being unsupportive to the OP as we do believe everyone has the right to express their opinion, however if the OP has genuine cause to want the thread removed - such as a concern of being recognised or the wish to remove very private details then we'll consider.
Hope that clarifies things - do email me at [email protected] if you've got any concerns

I think that the trouble with Mumsnet is that a lot of posters are pregnant or have new babies and are hormonal and exhausted. It's easy to use MN to have a rant in the middle of the night when you're at your lowest and then think "bugger!" in the light of day when you see that you've laid yourself open and everyone can see you at your worst. Forever.

Doesn't mean that the OP hasn't taken any of the advice, especially the stuff that was kindly given.

MrsTittlemouse - excellent comment, I agree wholeheartedly.

But how could she be recognised when it wasn't even clear whether she had a son or a daughter, or how old the kid was? And there weren't any other particularly identifying details at all. I'm sure it's hard to make these calls, but I think on this occasion you might have been pandering to the OP somewhat.

hear hear mrs tittlemouse, well observed

Has it occurred to anyone that she might have changed personal details to disguise herself so she would be less identifiable? So not 'lying', but being cautious.

In which case, no issue about being identified is there?

Mumsnet don't delete threads just because you get a flaming. Believe me, i've tried.
They reminded me that the thread was in the spirit of mumsnet (paraphrasing, i can't remember now) and they'd rather not delete the thread.
I'm glad they didn't now, as I read the thread once in a while and i see the funny side now.

violethill, I meant that people take inconsistency in details across various threads to indicate that someone is lying, or trolling, but actually it could just be someone protecting themselves.

Anyway, you know what, I didn't see the original thread and don't really care, so not quite sure why I'm even bothering to comment (except that I should be hoovering ... )

FAir enough, which is why i didn't shout 'troll' - but actually, in the context of whether the OP should go back to work or not, the difference between an 8 month & a 15 month old DC is kind of relevant, no?

I didn't see the thread but if it makes someone feel really worried and uncomfortable then they should have the right to ask for a thread to be deleted, this isn't brain surgery, it's a forum. I do think you should stand by your own comments but if you're worried then it's just not worth it.