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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you can't actually compare early weaning and child abuse?!

61 replies

SirBoobAlot · 14/04/2010 20:14

Am really angry about this

I received an email from a "friend" earlier - she doesn't have children but is a nanny, and since I have had DS she has been trying to tell me how to parent (which is another thread!).

Earlier I logged on to find this:

Hey SirBoobAlot, how are you doing? How is DS?

Look, I will come straight to the point, I saw your status the other day about introducing second meal of the day, and it really concerned me. You do know that's not right don't you? The damage you are doing his insides, you might as well just be hitting him. I really think you need to stop this. He is not six months yet. Please get in touch if you want any advice, just stop feeding him. He's not ready.

Love, XXX.

I mean, WTF?! Firstly, DS is 5 months, and I was advised to wean early by HV as he was waking up every hour again for food.

Secondly, how can anyone think it is an acceptable comparison between weaning a few weeks early and hitting a child? I was absolutely gobsmacked to read this. She has always been a little high and mighty since she qualified, but has generally been a good friend.

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 14/04/2010 20:16

She is mad.

Alambil · 14/04/2010 20:16

she's one of those "I know everything, I've been on a course, don'tchaknow" nannies, isn't she?

ignore her - she's plain rude

AnyFucker · 14/04/2010 20:16

tell her to fuck the fuck off

and then carry on doing as you (and your HV) see fit

SalFresco · 14/04/2010 20:16

YANBU.

I would be livid.

rubyslippers · 14/04/2010 20:17

that is an almighty over reaction and belittles genuine abuse

I would tell her how shocked you are by her analogy

SalFresco · 14/04/2010 20:17

Have you replied to her message?!

differentID · 14/04/2010 20:17

has she posted on your fb at all?

shesdrivingmecrazy · 14/04/2010 20:18

I would secretly be a little at weaning at 5 months because a HV says it will make him sleep rather than because he had shown signs of readiness for it.

But I wouldn't say so, it's your call and none of my business so YANBU.

Pozzled · 14/04/2010 20:18

YANBU. Some 'friend'.

DunderMifflin · 14/04/2010 20:18

This is ridiculous - my DD is 7yrs and the advice when she was little was to wean at 16wks.

My DS is 1.5yrs and although the advice has now changed, our HV suggested we start introducing food at 18wks as he was obviously ready for it and very hungry.

Of course, they are both absolutely fine.

YADefinitelyNBU

Surely it would be abusive to leave a child hungry?

gorionine · 14/04/2010 20:19

I just read on another thread a minute ago that the guidlines have apparently changed back to weaning between 17/20 weeks wich I think is the "old" advice as well. will try to find it back.

HumphreyCobbler · 14/04/2010 20:19

that is awful

5inthebed · 14/04/2010 20:20

But she is a nanny, and knows it all! She must have done a course in it.

What a rude woman, have you replied to her?

titch7069 · 14/04/2010 20:20

you could point out that as a nanny she'll never be in a childs life long enough to know if her way is right or not. alternatively you could just tell her to sod off. it's only been a few years since we were told to wean at 4 months (eldest dd is nearly 11) and when i was a baby my mother was told to wean me at 3 months. funnily enough we are all still alive and well.

HumphreyCobbler · 14/04/2010 20:20

No the guidelines are staying at six months.

But that isn't the point is it? The point is the unbelievably rudeness of this woman, and the unjustifiable comparison with child abuse ffs.

gorionine · 14/04/2010 20:21

here not sure from that thread how official it is though.

AnyFucker · 14/04/2010 20:24

when my eldest was a baby the weaning guidelines were 3-4 months

she has never had a days illness in her life so far

shesdrivingmecrazy · 14/04/2010 20:24

Does that thread no conclude it to be bollocks?

Vallhala · 14/04/2010 20:26

Tell her to fuck off, then when she gets there, fuck off some more. What a cheek! I'm furious with and for you SirBoobALot.

Way back when my 2 now teenagers were born weaning started at about 4 months iirr. It sure didn't harm my healthy girls.

"Might just as well be hitting" indeed.... pah!

Original poster
SirBoobAlot · 14/04/2010 20:26

Shesdriving it wasn't just the waking - he was trying to grab food, was crying whilst people were eating to the point of having to face him in another direction etc, and the HV saw this as she came for a visit whilst I was eating my lunch. She advised me to give it a shot as he wouldn't take it if he didn't want it, and he has been gobbling it down since I started! I was just trying to justify myself, I guess, as its made me a little uneasy.

Diff - no, but she is on my FB list, hence why I am complaining on here instead of there, as I don't want to start a riot!

I haven't replied because I am still angry - partially for what was said, but also, as ruby pointed out, that it really does just belittle abuse. I also am at a total loss as to what to say!

OP posts:
RubyBuckleberry · 14/04/2010 20:26

'you might as well be hitting him'

yanbu

hv being a bit about weaning early tho, but as HC said not the point...

yanbu

RubyBuckleberry · 14/04/2010 20:28

if he is grabbing food and eating it, then not ...

ya still nbu, she's being a nutter...

LittleMissHissyFit · 14/04/2010 20:29

HumphreyCobbler says it. The guidelines are staying at 6m.

They are exactly that, guidelines, and always it is mentioned that unless upon advice of HV/Dr.

Got a feeling that in the USA it's earlier than 6m, like 5m I think... Think my sister was saying that they wean earlier.

SirBoob, ignore her, you know you are doing the right thing, you are being supervised and all is going well.

Defriend the freak..

AvrilHeytch · 14/04/2010 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LittleMissHissyFit · 14/04/2010 20:32

Or you could reply and say

'I do sincerely hope you are not going to actually invoice me for that unsolicited and unqualified advice????'...

I say again, Freak!