to think that if parents smoke they are very selfish......

[posieparker]

considering between 500 to 1,000 children a year end up in hospital because they are exposed to their parents' smoking.

Smokers are no more selfish than non-smokers, they are addicted. Addiction is very selfish. It's very hard to give up smoking.

I'm an ex-smoker and dp's a smoker (not in the house, but only because I don't allow it) and I hate it. But I don't go on at him, because I know how miserable the bloody fag addiction is, and I couldn't pile guilt on top of the guilt I know he already feels, poor thing. After all, the stress will just make him desperate for another fag, poor thing. People who have never smoked do not understand this at all, so some conclude that smokers are "stupid" or "selfish". They of course are much superior.

For those who want to give up, I so so so recommend Alan Carr.

ONAGAR - I doubt it will stop their parents smoking, I doubt anything will.
But it probably makes it more likely those kids will never start. Is that not a good thing?

odette123, better the gum than a fag!

jo speaks the truth, people hide their smoking.

so the publicity has worked, it drives some people underground!

I don't buy this "I'm an addict you know, it's so hard to give up"

In the last 3 years I have know one friend, one friend's DH and SIL (all of whom had "wanted" to give up smoking for years, but played the "it's so hard" card) who having been told by a doctor to give up stopped overnight, just like that. No it wasn't easy, they did crave a fag, but the did it. It's surprising what the threat of another heart attack (at 42 ) or the potential amputation of a limb (at 37 and 46) can do to motivate you...

and as for all these people who reckon their kids don't know they smoke, keep dreaming... (non-smokers can smell faggy people at 100yards )

YANBU

MeMudmagnet if it were for that it would be defensible, but we have had cases for example of the teacher making the children of smokers stand up in class so that everyone can feel sorry for them as their parents are going to die horribly. Similar stuff from bloody health visitors and the like.

Hurting children for the express purpose of getting their parents to stop doing something which is perfectly legal is abuse.

Except BetsyBoop you might not be able to smell all smokers - if you can't smell them, you don't know do you? My colleagues were really shocked the first time we went out in the evening and I had a cigarette - they thought I was a social smoker. I'm not but they can't smell it because I don't smoke very much and I don't smoke 'real' cigarettes, only rollies

trust me ladybiscuit, I always know (unless we are talking one fag every other week, which isn't really what I call a "smoker") when someone smokes. The smell is just one giveaway, then there is the ashtray breath, wrinkles round the mouth, "grey" skin, "yellow" eyes & teeth, etc, etc. Put it this way, in 40 years I've never once said "oh I didn't know you smoked!"

Good for them Betsy. But how come you don't buy the addiction thing when it took for those people to be told they could die or lose a limb to give up doing something that poisons them? And what is it that is so fab about smoking for people to want to inhale poisonous fumes? The smell? The taste? Of course not. It's an addiction that's bloody hard to give up. Doesn't mean people can't give up. But very very many do go on to get ill and die rather than give up, despite dire warnings from their doctors.

YANBU

My DP is 35, he has smoked since aged 14 averaging about 10 or more a day. We have been together 10 years now and he still can't/wont give up. It costs us £75 a month and altough he smokes outside, he still carrys the smell (and all the nasty chemicals) on him and his clothes, the bed, the sofa, the kids. The frequent waiting while he sneaks of for a fag (altough our 5 year old already has worked this out, the end of a nice meal I'ved cooked, off he goes. It drives me INSANE and I feel so resentful towards him for not managing to give up. Altimately, it effects all of us, our health, his health, the cost, what would happen if it became ill from it, yet it is such a contentious subject now that I am not even allowed to mention it.
I love him and we haver been together 10 years but I can't understand his addiction and cannot help but think of it as selfish.

petisa - I didn't say it wasn't an addiction, just that it's the excuse people trot out when they don't want to can't give up. I have know a number of other smokers give up without the imminent threat of illness/disability/death hanging over them, as have most people, so it can be done. (They are now some of the most intolerant anti-smokers I know )

The withdrawal from the physical addiction lasts about 3 days, then it needs brain-to-control-hand-&-not-put-fag-in-mouth.

Yes it takes willpower but most of all a steely determination to want to give up for themselves. It's no use going in with "I ought to try, for the sake of the kids, but it's so hard..." approach.

YANBU

Discusting, foul, selfish, weak habit.

I quit the minute I found out I was pregnant because I care about my son more than I care about my addiction.

Smokers hide behind ridiculous excuses. "Never smoke in the house." "Only smoke when the kids are in bed." Yadda yadda yadda.

Why have kids when you know your filthy habit may harm them? Even if it is a may I still wouldn't do anything that had a direct link to causing my son real, longterm harm. Yes I take him in the car etc etc which has associated risks (people that trot that old chestmut out piss me off too), but this is something you have the power to change.

Selfish and lazy.

Gingerbaby, I looked up a thread by you and was going to use it to be really hutful to you to make the point about how the targets of your vitriol might feel, but I felt it would be going too far.

However, you do need to recognise that smokers are people and think about the feelings of those of us you slagged off in your last post

Going for a fag

older, you enjoy that fag! have one for me too !

ginger nothing like a convert eh! chill the fuck out and cook down on that vitriol no?

Phew, that's better!