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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone else think this is a bit wierd?

65 replies

MadameCheese · 07/04/2010 20:40

My DS was given birthday presents by my in-laws which have to stay at their house for him to use. We hardly ever go there so it seems a bit unfair that he's not able to use them most of the time.

OP posts:
cocolepew · 07/04/2010 20:41

Yes wierd

LoveMyGirls · 07/04/2010 20:41

Yep weird.

DuelingFanjo · 07/04/2010 20:41

really odd. Could you buy exactly the same thing and keep them at your house. Sounds to me like they want him to want to go to theirs more often!

Baconsarnie · 07/04/2010 20:42

Weird. Did you question it or did they explain why?

shushpenfold · 07/04/2010 20:43

Subtle hint - they want you to go there more often......just in case you hadn't worked that one out!!!

WitchyWooWoo · 07/04/2010 20:43

weird... are they maybe trying to bribe you into going more often, if there is a toy ds loves and its only at their house?

ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 07/04/2010 20:43

Yes, weird. We had similair with DH's family. Most strange.

WitchyWooWoo · 07/04/2010 20:44

x post shush

compo · 07/04/2010 20:44

Wierd
give them Xmas pressies that they can only have at yours

nigglewiggle · 07/04/2010 20:44

I'd go with the hint theory.

TootaLaFruit · 07/04/2010 20:44

Coco and Love, don't be mean!

OP, yes that is weird. And unfair on your ds. My PIL gave my 8 week old dd a trike for Xmas , she's really going to be enjoying that, isn't she?

My MIL also buys dd nice plates and books that are 'only for use at her house', which we go to approx 6 times a year. People are strange.

shushpenfold · 07/04/2010 20:44

Great minds and all that!

EndangeredSpecies · 07/04/2010 20:44

don't think it's weird no, my in-laws did that too but the dcs see them once a week so perhaps it's different. Agree with shuspenfold, but it'll be nice for your dcs when they do go and visit, the toys will make them feel at home

TootaLaFruit · 07/04/2010 20:45

MIL's house, not dd's. Obviously.

ElleBing · 07/04/2010 20:45

Weird weirdy weirdos.

BUT do you think they might be hinting that you should go see them more often?

ronshar · 07/04/2010 20:46

Both sets of our parents have toys which are kept there.
Saying that none of those toys are pressies which have to be left behind.

I have a friend whos ex inlaws have done the same thing.

TottWriter · 07/04/2010 20:47

Yeah. Weird.

As for the hint thing, do you think there could be something in that OP? Or is there no reasonable way you can see them more often? If you could visit more often but don't, then yes, it could be a hint. OTOH, if they're abroad or a 12hr drive away, that's just plain odd.

ElleBing · 07/04/2010 20:48

PS what does X posts mean please anyone?

horridhobo · 07/04/2010 20:51

It's a control thing on their part imo - some people are like that.

Quattrocento · 07/04/2010 20:55

Weird is how you spell weird

Dunno about your inlaws behaviour.

chiccadee · 07/04/2010 20:55

Cool to have toys kept at GPs houses if GPs buy for that purpose, but totally unfair on DC if they can't take away thier own presents.

Depends on what your relationship is like. Personally, I'd be upfront in saying that DS can do what he likes with gifts - if they want to buy toys for their house, don't make it a present. If you're not up to facing them out though then the easiest option is to buy another set for your own house.

Hints like that are daft and upsetting for the DCs. If your PIL want to see your DS more often, they should say.

Am in an intolerant mood tonight....

Chulita · 07/04/2010 20:59

Surely a present is a transference of ownership to the giftee. If they've given your DS something then it's his to do what he wants with. It's unreasonable to give a gift with conditions attached. If they want to see more of you they should just say so and let your DS keep his presents. Both my parents and PILs have various toys at their houses for grandchildren to play with but a gift is a gift IMO.

CappuccinoCarrie · 07/04/2010 21:00

My in-laws have done that and I thought it was nice actually. We only go there a couple of times a year, but they've bought things like an aquadraw which they can easily store and will get use by kids of all ages. When they gave it it was clear that it was to be kept at theirs so that a collection of toys gradually builds up and we don't have to cart half a ton of toys with us in addition to everything else when we're driving the length of the country. For my kids it was nice to open a present and play with it, then when we visit the ILs the kids also get excited about the different toys they remember. OP if your ILs bought some toys to keep at their house wouldn't you think it was a really nice thought, is the issue just that they wrapped them up and gave them to your kids? Surely most kids love opening presents, its a bit of added excitement to toys that they'd be getting anyway?

ellebing in means 'cross posts' as in two people wrote similar things at the same time.

Mamalade · 07/04/2010 21:00

I think they definitely want you to go round theirs more.Not too subtle in their approach tho.Maybe each time you go there you could filter one out.

nigglewiggle · 07/04/2010 21:00

x post stands for crossed posts. It means that you were both typing at the same time and have said the same thing, or your question was answered before you posted your message.