to get titsed off with parents believing their children are the academic elite?

[tallyhoho]

I am fed up with those people who bleat on about how children are either talented academically or not and about how IQ is largely inherited.

I believe extreme talent someone may be born with eg that 16 year old black swimmer, however, all you need to do is look at private schools to see that drumming exam technique into someone will lead to good grades.

I believe there are some children who are genuinely academically gifted but they are few and far between. All other children fall somewhere on a spectrum where given the right encouragement and environment can do well.

Our children are all doing well at school but I don't believe it is down to me and DH.

I've never heard anyone say their children are the academic elite or that they got their brains from them

who has said this? You must have someone in mind.

Good exam grades don't necessarily have much to do with innate intelligence or talent though.

I agree that children who are genuinely gifted are relatively rare.

Usually people who bleat on about their children are making up for some deficit in their own life. If you have achieved well yourself, and are living an interesting life, you don't need to live your life second hand through your children.

Loving the phrase 'titsed off' btw!

Noone in particular. Just threads suggesting IQ is largely inherited and parents believing that it is down to them. The old grammar/secondary modern dabate.

oh you mean on here?

I'm not well up on that, sorry have not really noticed it.

No matter whether it is nature or nurture which lead to academic success, it surely is down to the parents to foster any academic talent and interest.

So of course it is also down to the parents whether a child is doing well at school, and children whose parents don't encourage them will have it much harder.

What's wrong with being proud of one's offspring?

That should be debate obviously.

Agree violethill. You only need to look at some of those who come out of private school clutching A*s at GCSE to realise what a bit of money can buy you.

WW - nothing wrong with being proud of your offspring but banging on about it being inherited suggests that other children cannot achieve academically.

tally you are going to upset people making statements like that, which imply everyone with kids at private school is buying their grades.

Even if IQ is inherited thats not the end of the story. High IQ is useless without hard work and a dose of common sense. Only we as parents can help our children to develop the skills and common sense need to acheive their potential and with the right support most people can achieve way above their natural potential.
I can think of good examples of individuals who are academically gifted with fabulous degrees from oxford or cambridge who have acheived nothing (in one case never had a job). However, me I have always had to work like a dog to achieve anything, but now I have my own successful business.
What all children need is support and encouragement to develop in all areas not just academic. Then they will florish.

But there is a correlation...

I totally agree that there are very few academically gifted children and when they are, they often come from very unexpected backgrounds. By that I mean that often their parents aren't academic at all.

You can definitely teach a child how to achieve on paper (especially for school exams), but it's when they progress onto uni, postgrad studies etc that you really see the differences. Then it can't be hidden.

I think you're getting things arse about face here. By thinking that a child's achievement aslo is affected by its genes you do not say that other children cannot achieve. Parents who say that they think their children inherited their intelligence make a statement how they perceive their own and their children's intelligence, they're not making a statement about other parents.

I really don't see your problem. It sounds like a lot of self esteem issues and projection to me.

I think it's fairly offensive to assume that kids educated at private school only achieve the success they do because of the money paid for their education. The implication is that they're a bit thick really, good job mummy and daddy were loaded.

I don't tend to talk about my academic prowess or that of my children very much because I think it's a bloody thin line between 'proud of achievements' and 'boasting' but since you mention it - all of my children display intelligence and characteristics in their learning which I recognise in dh and I and indeed in our parents. That isn't saying other childen can't or won't achieve

x posted with everybody

0h if it's stuff on here rather than RL conversations, I would take it with a pinch of salt, the parents who post on educational matters do seemed to be skewed towards the G & T, private school, kids reading Harry Potter at 5 types.

Oh FFS! Some people are more academically inclined/good at intellectual study than others are. Just as some people are better at music/running/cooking. Actual success to the extent of fame and fortune is down to a mixture of innate ability, the right support from family/teachers, hard work and, to an extent, luck.
SO YABU OP, get over yourself and encourage your children to find the things that they are good at and enjoy.

But why do you care what other parents say about their own children? If you're happy with yours then just ignore them. It's the same whether it's education, BF, SAHM etc - horses for courses, just ignore the ones who get evangelical about it. YABU

Agree that many children can be tutored to pass A-levels without being particularly bright. But it shows up at the next level: at university, they are still expected to think for themselves, and that is harder to tutor for. Comes as a nasty shock to some students who thought all A grades meant they were actually talented.

I got all my smarts from my dad. Not genetically (though he's pretty switched on) but due to the hours he spent reading to me and making me read after work each night.

NL and SGB I think you have both missed my point

IQ is largely inherited. Thats not news. The rest is usually down to the right environment to nurture academic success.

You can't polish a turd, you know.

I don't see that it matters-don't compare. I haven't come across it much, but if I have I just opt out and quietly do our own thing-mine have all done well in their own way. If they are not there through their own efforts they will come unstuck at university, they simply won't cope. The university won't tell you anything about how they are getting on-they are adults. If parents want to believe, just let them get on with it-it can be irritating but nothing more.

lukewarm - just pointing out what titses me off. Does nothing tits you off?

the intake of private schools is (largely) selected and therefore will necessarily include v. bright kids. the kids i went to university with who were ex-eton etc were very bright.

also, iq is (like many other things) inherited,

being titsed off ... perhaps not unreasonable, but a bit pointless, no?

although runnybottom, i believe there is a Mythbusters episode where they try to prove you can polish a turd,,,