to get titsed off with parents believing their children are the academic elite?

[tallyhoho]

I am fed up with those people who bleat on about how children are either talented academically or not and about how IQ is largely inherited.

I believe extreme talent someone may be born with eg that 16 year old black swimmer, however, all you need to do is look at private schools to see that drumming exam technique into someone will lead to good grades.

I believe there are some children who are genuinely academically gifted but they are few and far between. All other children fall somewhere on a spectrum where given the right encouragement and environment can do well.

Our children are all doing well at school but I don't believe it is down to me and DH.

Yes, but I don't post it in AIBU unless I want people to comment on whether I'm BU to be titsed off! You did ask....

I don't care enough about other people's children to be bothered. Nod politely, hmmm and ahh a bit and think about what I'll be doing for dinner.

There we go. Blunt but accurate.

zapostrophe What is G&T? In this house it comes with a slice or two of lemon...

OP YANBU, where are the hoards of average kids? Does nobody ever look at their child and think "oh bless, he's going to make a marvellous plongeur"?

In what way have we missed your point? It is so tedious when people insist that a point has been missed. No - I haven't missed it but it wasn't a very robust point in the first place!

mumsnetters are not average people. they are a self-selected segment of the population - the minimum requirements being you have to be able to read, type and switch on a computer...

therefore it wouldn't be suprising if their kids aren't average...

zapostrophe, that is comical.

Most DCs are average-that is what the word means and most of mumsnet DCs are average-take a lot of it with a big pinch of salt!

I don't think IQ is necessarily inherited. My nephew is genuinely very academically gifted. His teachers aren't really sure how to deal with him.

He is currently attending primary school, but goes to secondary for certain subjects, as primary wasn't challenging enough for him.

He's a very odd child, quirky (in a good way). I can see him spending his days as a professor in a windowless university office, on his own, researching endlessly.

His parents aren't quite sure what to do with him either, as he's vastly brighter than they are!

I personally wouldn't want to bring up a genius!

but the average member of the popuation is not the same as the average mumsnetter (typically university educated - and we have 50% sent to public schools versus the average 9%)

therefor the average mumsnetters child will no e the same as the average randomly slected group of population...

Nl, I was in no way suggesting ALL children who go to private school have bought their qualifications or are thick, however, you only need to look at the average grades private v state to illustrate my point. Don't tell me that children who go to state school are academically inferior to those in private school.

My middle son is 28 now and when he passed the 11+ and went to the grammar his friend's mum fronted up at the middle school to enquire very loudly at the school gate from all the parents- 'I don't understand how her son [mine] passed the 11+ mine didn't. She lives in a council house and has ALL those children.
We still laugh about it now

eggy Perhaps so, but I find it very difficult to believe that mumsnet are raising a generation of academic elite. We ought to brace ourselves for a wave of rocket scientists if so... which seems unlikely to say the very least.

Academic elite does not mean cramming/getting a tutor for wee Rupert to barely scrape through his 11+!

Mooncup, I agree the thought of bringing up a genius doesn't appeal. I remember that Ruth whatshername who went to Oxford at 13. She is married with kids now and really regrets having such an intense childhood. What a shame.

Some children are very clever. Some children are less clever, but have enriching and nurturing backgrounds with a lot of support that enables them to make the most of what brain they do have.

It's the bragging that's annoying, and that's often a cultural thing. Finding it irritating and rude I mean.

Marj, now that would tits me off. Snotty cow.

Of course, everyone is above average..

Goblinchild, I agree, the bragging is irritating and rude.

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them" as Shakespeare wrote (I've probably misquoted mind)

zapostrophe - oooh - my TWO year old can count to ten! Not necessarily in the right order mind...

oojimaflip, yes and all the SATS, GCSE and A level results get better every year because the children are getting cleverer

I don't understand the OP. She seems to imply that many who do well academically only do so because of "drumming exam technique" into empty vessels. She then quotes the example of "that 16 year old black swimmer" who is apparently brilliant sports-wise because she was born that way. Nothing to do with hours of practice then?

People have investigated the nurture v. nature debate for years without coming to a conclusion but I am glad that you have sorted it out for us OP.

senua, the sixteen year old black swimmer was put in a pool by her mum with lots of swimming aids at the age of three (I think) and then had taken them all off within a few hours and was swimming. She is one of the first black swimmers to represent Britain in the Olympics and she does put in hours of training but had raw, natural talent.

I have not in any way suggested I have "sorted the nature nurture debate out" (read my other posts). I was pointing out that parents tits me off when they brag about their kids being academically elite and it being solely down to them.

tallyhoho - it's because they all give 110%

However, when they get to university, it becomes very clear that some students have a natural aptitude for thinking and that others, while they may have been tutored to within an inch of their lives, simply can't do it. It may or may not be inherited; it's not something other people- whether parents or tutors- can do an awful lot about.

My mums last IQ test was 148 but she can't work a dishwasher or washing machine and has to use the laundrette and does her washing up by hand.
She doesn't keep her house clean and she has only ever had volunteer jobs.
All my siblings have been IQ tested and none are below 130, all except one ( disabled brother ) went to grammer school.
2 of them started uni at 17 and have 2 degrees each, but none of them are happy or can function very well without a lot of assistance.
I was the only one who choose not to take my 11+ and went to the local comp, i was the happiest child at school ( ignorance is bliss eh!? ) i was top in every set and achieved a lot dispite some learing difficulties, i have never been tested for my IQ and i would never want to know TBH, i know what im capable of and i don't need a figure to dictate what my potential might be, i find that some knowledge does more harm than good and can be limit your goals and undermine you.
dispite my siblings being very bright they still have to measure themselves against each other and our mum like its a race, only one of them has surpassed our mums IQ, but are currently being looked after in the local mental health unit after a suicided attempt over 6 months ago.
When we get together they only talk about their smarts and it gets quite boring,, the only thing that puts them in their place is me beating them every time at trivial pursuit lol!

The OP is nonsense and very simplistic.

Some children really are geniuses - its unusual though - and they don't necessarily end up living very happy lives

Many many children will be able to display a "genius" aptitude in a subject if they have been hothoused in that subject from birth

It is not out of line to say intelligence is inherited. But who from? My hair is not from my parents, or even my grandparents. if a child is bright or thick, they haven't necessarily got it from the parents, it could be from some long lost relative 4 generations back

Private schools are all different. Some are highly selective and so the children there are clever

As SGB says academic braininess isn't the be all and end all. being super bright doesn't guarantee success or happiness by any stretch.

"Our children are all doing well at school but I don't believe it is down to me and DH. "

And that is just nonsense. A childs home environment will have a huge effect on how they develop in all sorts of ways, including academically.