Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To want dh to come home before 04.45?

18 replies

Broodymomma · 03/04/2010 09:49

I probably am but dh often goes out for drinks with work pals - I have no problem with it in principle but now we have ds it is bugging me that he gets home at 6pm - out at 7pm and in the case of last night (or this morning) came home at 04.45 - I know this as he fell on top of me and woke me when he got in.
Now ds and I (who has been up since 6am) are sat waiting on him to get up before we can go have the family day we are meant to be having.
So ambu to expect a few drinks to not always last to that time in the morning?

OP posts:

cake4ever · 03/04/2010 09:54

YANBU!! What the hell is he doing out until 4.45 am anyway? Is he at a friends house?

Those hours are seriously impacting on your time as a family and I think it's really sad that you and DS are waiting for him to surface to go on your, I presume planned, day out over the easter break.

Can't you go and wake him and kick him out of bed!

I would br livid.

Take care and hope your day goes well when it does start!

rubyslippers · 03/04/2010 09:55

how often is this happening?

i wouldn't wait for your DH - get up and go out and have a lovely day with your DS

Original poster

Broodymomma · 03/04/2010 10:04

It happens every time he goes out - he works for a brewery so he is out a lot. He is away with work probably 2 - 3 times a month which all adds up. He sees things like last night as catching up with old workmates but if Im honest I feel so neglected and sorry for ds.

We are going to my friends new house today and she is expectinga ll of us so got to wait on him although am going to wake him now.

I am a little out of the loop with the old going out thing these days but I know he was not at anyones house he says he is in the pub until that time (well normally says that) but I dont remember pubs being open till that 3am - clubs yeah but what are 2 married 35 year old guys doing in a club. We live out of town so am being generous and giving gim 1.5hrs to get home after that.
I am honestly wondering where the hell he goes.

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 03/04/2010 10:06

i wouldn't be happy if it was every time he went out especially as it is ruining your family time

you need to ask him where he is and what he is doing

you need to explain how upset it is making you and your DS

is your DH going to be in a fit state to go out if he is hungover and knackered?

Original poster

Broodymomma · 03/04/2010 10:08

He is going to have to be as he is not spoiling our day. Thanks Ruby I will talk to him tonight. I have spoke to him before about how late he stays out and he said he seen my point. It calmed down for a little but is as bad as ever now so will have the talk again. Thanks

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 03/04/2010 10:09

good luck - and don't let him off the hook

hope you manage to have a good day

BitOfFun · 03/04/2010 10:10

Where does he claim to be until that time? Sounds fishy to me.

Original poster

Broodymomma · 03/04/2010 10:13

Claims to be at a bar that stays open till 3 then normally has to wait ages for a taxi!!! God even typing it I can see what a flaming idiot I have been believeing it all for so long. I have no idea where he honestly is until that time. I know what he tells me but its just been easier to let it go before now, not anymore

OP posts:

AvadaKedavra · 03/04/2010 10:16

1 hour 45 minutes wait for a taxi?

LeQueen · 03/04/2010 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harleyd · 03/04/2010 10:20

have you ever tried getting a taxi at 3am when all the clubs are emptying, its damn near impossible
not defending him btw

ben5 · 03/04/2010 10:22

my hubby has been away with the navy and came home on monday. he went out and stayed out at friends house all last night. i wasn't unpset! he's allowed some time with friends to! i had a great day with my 2 ds.

LeQueen · 03/04/2010 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Broodymomma · 03/04/2010 10:52

You have made me giggle!! The state dh gets in I cant imagine anyone wanting to jump his bones either lol.

In all seriousness its the frequency of the night out that is doing my head in. When you add it up with the frequent time away with work its just too much and I dont want my husband out in bars that reugularly until 3/4 in the morning. Perhaps I am harsh but its how I feel. I added last months up and between nights away and nights out it was 18 nights out of the month he was either away or out boozing. I know there is nothing we can do when he is away with work but surely he cam go out for a few beers without it lasting until that time in the morn?

Just asked him about last night, said he went to a piano bar that I know closes at 3 - I said "did you fall asleep on the couch as you fell into bed at 04.45" - he said "i know, bloody taxis. He had said before he was getting the night bus home though.

I dont really think he would cheat - just paranoid he seems to want to do anything but stay in with me.

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 03/04/2010 10:57

It's not necessarily cheating at all- you're right. But he is being inconsiderate and needs a kick up the arse. What does he expect you to think after a while? It just doesn't make his family look like a big priority if he is prepared to make his wife feel crappy and have his kids miss out on his full energy and attention the next day. Now and again- ok. Often- not ok.

GeekOfTheWeek · 03/04/2010 12:15

BiL does this regularly, sometimes not home til 11am the next day

He isn't at a club though, usually at someones house shovelling white shit up his nose.

mayorquimby · 03/04/2010 12:20

yanbu if it's impacting on the following day.
yabu if you just want him home because you don't like him being out that late.

Boobalina · 03/04/2010 18:54

My dh has done this a fair bit and last year I did it a few times too! We resolved it by being honest by agreeing that it isn't 'proper' for a married parent of 2 to do this regularly and sends the wrong message to one another and others also. It has worked. Dh went out on thur and got home at 1am and got up with kids at 7am!

Flip