to think that my neighbour should teach her daughter how to be pleasant??

[katiemamam]

I've posted about this before and was told that I was being unreasonable (although I think I'd worded that I was "livid".)

Am no longer livid, just very upset for my ds.

Neighbour's daughter is 6 months older than DS and repeatedly says that she won't play with him when playing with another mutual friend. She gets cross with him for nothing (have witnessed this) and shouts at him. She's happy to play with him in our house, but not anywhere else (like her house or the house of a mutual friend).

As we live in a cul-de-sac the three kids would play together quite a lot (in an ideal world) so this is making things v different. The other little girl and DS get on really well.

Today, for the 9th time in a month, DS came home in tears (proper sobbing) because "T shouted at me. T was cross with me". He's not a cry-baby, I'm not an over-protective mother.

Have tried to tell DS to ignore T* when she shouts at him, but to play with her when she stops shouting. Don't know what to do now.
Should I talk to her mother?

I know that not all children need to get on with each other, but I feel that she is being mean to DS for no reason.

yabu
i assume both children are 3

Typical AIBU#

You have been told you are being unreasonable again (er, that's because you ARE) but instead of accepting that, you're being a dick and squawking "oh well, report me to the social services then, who's perfect anyway!"

If you didn't know that you could have improved the situation yourself by stepping in to prevent your son being spoken to nastily (except you can't because you're never there, are you?) you wouldn't be so defensive about it.

Promise not to post another thread until it's something like "aibu to expect my hairdresser not to hold me hostage at gunpoint" or something similar.

ROFL

if only everybody would do that

I have to agree that the simplest solution is not to have them play together. Neighbours are generally best kept at a polite distance, whatever age they are.

3 years olds?? completely normal behaviour for a 3 years old (i would say normal up to 9ish tbh) to 'not want to be your friend anymore' etc

yanbvu and completely irresposible for letting a 3 year old play out unsupervised!!

YABU
your expectations ar far too high

i imagine at some point, if it has not happened already, your DD will shout at and upset another child, snatch their toy or do soemthing a bit disagreeable, becasue she is 3

if the child has come home crying 9 times in the month, don't let your child play there

problem solved

and if you have doen two threads on this and had the same resounding opinion,perhaps evryone else is right?

just a thought

They are three! What exactly do you want, come back and moan if it's still the same when they have even the basic amount of maturity.

Three year olds by their very nature are confusing.

6months does not an adult make!

Oh and going by the title, do you expect us to believe that your DS is never anything other than pleasant?

katie...this is a bit of an over reaction isnt it??
you need to pick your battles.....wait untill you have teens on your hands,or older kids in school....if ou cant cope with this trivial stuff now,then theres little hope!!y

Heck, ds is 5 and only just goes on occasional playdates on his own and still sometimes finds other children's behaviour perplexing. Certainly wouldn't be sending my 3yr old by herself, it's too much. And given their differences in character that means your ds ends up often upset why encourage it at this stage? He'd surely feel happier by your side or start to get anxious about going? I'm not sure what else the other mother could do apart from spend every second eagle-eyed which sounds like hard work/no incentive to carry on with the playdates.

If you want ds to socialise with other children, a really good idea, then seek out a nursery (does he qualify yet for a nursery place?) where his play will be supervised or take him yourself to a toddler group like Messyplay, Tumbletots etc where it's again very supervised social play.

they are 3, it's simple, don't let them play together. In a few months/years they might have matured enough to realise how to play nicely (the other girl is 3, she isn't being mean, she just doesn't know how to play yet). Otoh they might never get on. at this age I think your ds will get not being able to play with the other girl and I don't know why you keep making them play together if it makes him upset. Sorry.

I'm not precious about playing out but three year olds shouldn't be wandering around unsupervised. You might live in a cul-de-sac but presumably it has a way in and way out. What happens when your son decides to explore further? But I agree with the others who've said that these two children may never get on. It isn't the end of the world.