to think that my neighbour should teach her daughter how to be pleasant??

[katiemamam]

I've posted about this before and was told that I was being unreasonable (although I think I'd worded that I was "livid".)

Am no longer livid, just very upset for my ds.

Neighbour's daughter is 6 months older than DS and repeatedly says that she won't play with him when playing with another mutual friend. She gets cross with him for nothing (have witnessed this) and shouts at him. She's happy to play with him in our house, but not anywhere else (like her house or the house of a mutual friend).

As we live in a cul-de-sac the three kids would play together quite a lot (in an ideal world) so this is making things v different. The other little girl and DS get on really well.

Today, for the 9th time in a month, DS came home in tears (proper sobbing) because "T shouted at me. T was cross with me". He's not a cry-baby, I'm not an over-protective mother.

Have tried to tell DS to ignore T* when she shouts at him, but to play with her when she stops shouting. Don't know what to do now.
Should I talk to her mother?

I know that not all children need to get on with each other, but I feel that she is being mean to DS for no reason.

rainbow: her mum doesn't acknowledge that T* ever does anything wrong. The other mum deals with it the same way that I do - her daughter is grand.

majafa: it's when they're in each other's houses. they only play outside if one of us supervises. and she shouts anyway. makes no difference where she is.

runnybottom: came home from T*'s house. Her mum brought him home saying that he'd suddenly just started to cry, but couldn't tell me why. DS and teh other little girl told...

As you haven't yet responded to anyone who is telling you a three year old shouldn't be playing without adult supervision, and that this is the entire problem in a nutshell, I'm assuming you are a troll.

however to anyone googling this threat in the future, it is unacceptable to leave three year olds to play unattended for precisely this reason. A three year old cannot be held responsible for the feelings of another three year old, and insisting on them playing alone does not, in fact, turn them into children who are old enough to play alone

Do you want to actually give some relevant details as you are beginning to irritate.

I think he is far too young to be away like this, sorry.

Why, if he is so upset so often by this child, why are you allowing him to be in a vulnerable position????

tinnitus: I'm in northern ireland. most stuff involves religion here

CM: don't think i have any need to be ashamed actually. we don't let the kids play outside unsupervised. obviously. who does that?

katiemamam Wed 31-Mar-10 18:56:04
coldtits: there is always an adult there with them - the children are never allowed to play totally unsupervised. thanks for jumping to conclusions.

Hope that clears that up....

Sorry but no way would I be letting my 3 year old get upset all the time. They are obviously not getting along so don't let them play together! If the other mother is letting him get upset over at her house all these times then keep him away! She's not looking after him by the sound of it.

My ds is 3 & it would be a cold day in hell before i would allow him to play on his own without an adult present.

At 3 they dont have the social skills that older children have,they dont know when they are saying or doing something hurtful.

If it bothers you so much stop him playing with her,simples.

oh my good god in heaven. am not a troll. am not leaving my 3 year old to play outside alone.

have responded twice about not letting my 3 year old son play outside alone.

WELL PEOPLE MIGHT GET THE DETAILS RIGHT IF YOU ANSWERED QUESTIONS OR GAVE ANY INFORMATION!

just reiterating. do not let my 3 year old play outside on his own. ffs.

calm down ladies!

Its not hard. If your kid gets upset a lot playing with another kid, you stop them playing together. Had that occurred to you perhaps?

Well you have asked this question before & was told then to stop him playing with her & you have chosen not to take that advice.

It doesnt matter how many times you ask or in how many different variations,the answer will be the same,stop him playing with her & play with him yourself or find other friends.

runnybottom: am trying. what oher details do you want? my address? dates and times?

honestly, i just wanted to know if it could be an idea to approach this child's mum quietly and just say that this is beginnign to be a problem for us.

didn't expect to be accused of child neglect.

hocus: you raise an interesting point. have aalways assumed that t's mum supervises the kids as we do when they're over here. never thought to ask... but guess from the experience that's she's not. cheers.

I still say you are expecting too much of 3 year olds.

OMG vitriol much!!!!

Deep breaths every one.

Why would you approach the little girls mum?

What would you say exactly? I would just keep them apart or just have her play at your home if you want to keep in contact.

we have no intention of moving house. as far as i know we're going to be living approx 5 feet from this little girl for the foreseeable.

i wanted some advice on how to try to sort it out proactively. and calmly rather than jst stopping ds from playing with her which will raise all kinds of issues for our family. and i'm not a troll, but i cn't explain what those issues are.

tell me which thread i should post to for ppl not to accuse me of child neglect...

am aware that in aibu ppl will not agree with me... but didn't think mumsnet was like this.

Judging by some of the reactions here try "is it okay if I keep my children"

3 yr olds are still getting the hang of how to play together and it can take a long time for social mores to be assimilated by an individual child