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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... but when I go to the hairdresser I do not want a head massage!

147 replies

frankie3 · 31/03/2010 18:17

I went to the hairdressers yesterday and while washing my hair they put the conditioner on and then started a very slow, intense head massage. I was not in the mood for this! And I am not into massage anyway. I felt that I could not ask her to stop as that would have been insulting to her.

....urgh makes me feel all shivery to think of it.

Or am I unusual to not like this?

OP posts:
missmoopy · 01/04/2010 20:26

Why thankyou ma'am!

Masterson · 20/03/2018 09:26

Hello I don’t like this either I’m not too sure if they are qualified either.I think the hairdresser should ask if we want one

flowerslemonade · 20/03/2018 09:47

The last time I had one it really hurt and she was pressing so hard it felt like she was trying to push through my skull and it hurt afterwards :(. It was really rough. I don't really like it tbh as I'm conscious of how much of my hair falls out when it's washed and find it embarrassing. The last time I went was November (not the one just gone, the one before then!) but I have very long hair so it's OK. May try and go in the spring :). I might just ask for no massage and say my scalp is very sensitive! You don't get drinks in mine but it's only £10.50 for a wet cut and she is the best hairdresser I've been to (better then Regis I think) so I keep going :).

MorningsEleven · 20/03/2018 09:53

I used to go to one where they'd give you a neck and shoulder massage before you'd started. Then they'd give you a hot napkin to soothe your hands - I can only assume the shop had once been a curry house and they'd inherited the hot napkin machine. I quite like the head massage but this was just that little step too far.

Allthewaves · 20/03/2018 09:55

Just ask her not to do it next time

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/03/2018 10:11

Japan, then! There it's a standard part of the haircut, and can take up to 15 minutes Shock

I spent a fortune at my last hairdresser appointment, and the "head massage" lasted all about 30 seconds! I feel like I've been robbed. It felt awkward to ask for a longer massage, but I was equally disappointed and pissed off, it ruined the whole thing.

Of course you can refuse if you don't like them!

Whitecurrants · 20/03/2018 10:16

I can't stand the head massage but I know what you mean OP, it feels a bit abrupt to tell them you don't want it once they start. I make a point of mentioning it before the wash starts so they know it's nothing personal. I'm sure they don't care anyway tbf.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/03/2018 10:29

I don't like head massages. If I think of it I'll tell the person washing my hair before the conditioner goes on but I don't have a problem stopping them as soon as they start it. It makes me feel sick.

I know that lots of people like/love them. I don't - and I'm paying so I won't have them. I tip the salon well but anybody who made anything of my preference not to be head-groped, wouldn't get one.

Whitecurrants · 20/03/2018 10:31

Grin at head-grope. That's exactly what it feels like.

turtletime · 20/03/2018 10:34

Why do head massages at the hairdressers feel so much better than anywhere else?

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/03/2018 10:40

Why do head massages at the hairdressers feel so much better than anywhere else? I never get them anywhere else Sad

Anyway, when you sit down at the sinks, just ask if they could skip the massage. Sometimes they are also killing a bit of time waiting for your hairdresser to be available, so it's worth asking them then.

Buildalegohouse · 20/03/2018 10:41

I hate going to the hair dressers. The only bit I enjoy is the head massage, I properly get lost in the relaxation of it, much more so than if I am having a body massage and have to keep worrying about them touching my squishy bits and holding farts in Blush Much less to worry about with a head massage Grin.

Tippexy · 20/03/2018 10:55

I love it.

The shivering feeling is ASMR - lots of people love it!

Whatshallidonowpeople · 20/03/2018 10:56

I hear you OP

idonteatvegemite · 20/03/2018 11:02

Hate them with a passion. My last hair dresser was so rough she actually gave me a headache. She was rough and sloppy with the water too, splashed all over my face and neck. I don't go there anymore!!

idonteatvegemite · 20/03/2018 11:03

@Tippexy i love people whispering Blush A library with people taking softly or whispering gives me goosebumps.

Trinity66 · 20/03/2018 11:03

Ugh I love that part so much

jazzandh · 20/03/2018 11:13

No, I always tell them clearly in advance - no massage. It's awful.

fourquenelles · 20/03/2018 11:17

I cannot bear the head massage thing so I always tell them as I am lead to the sink not to do it. Never had anyone say that they are offended.

longtompot · 20/03/2018 11:45

I love the head massage my hairdresser does. I do however hate the sinks and always worry that this will be the time I get the serious neck injury some people can get from them :(
I get the ASMR tingles as well, and I love it. My dh used to brush my hair with his fingers and it was bliss in a nonsexual way. Same when my kids used to play with my hair. I could sit there for hours. I used to also get it when we were read to on a Friday afternoon at primary school. Its just very soothing.
I really need to go and get a head and shoulder massage soon.

Thundercracker · 20/03/2018 11:55

I hate this bit. If they ask, I say no thank you. If they just do it, I sit there with my toes curling willing it to be over.

I'm always reminded of that James Herriot story about the hairdresser dog owner who said that he could sense his customers' (and dog's) thoughts by rolling the hair between his fingers. (The dog nearly died during an op and James had revived it by swinging it round in the air. Didn't tell owner, owner felt the fur and said dog must have had a dream about flying.) Anyway, I normally sit there at that point giving off "I hate this, I hate you, give me my personal space back" vibes just in case I get a psychic hairdresser who can read my hair one day.

SquashFeet · 20/03/2018 11:57

I don't like it as I get a bit turned on - which I feel is innapropriate and probably not what the poor woman is setting out to achieve

CabbagesOnFire · 20/03/2018 12:29

I had a similar situation with my yoga teacher, who used to go round and push everyone into a particular position, and I hated it but as she'd been doing it every time for months and I hadn't mentioned it, and nobody else seemed to mind I didn't feel like I could say. But in the end I did mention it, obviously very politely, and she was fine about it, apologetic even, and after that started asking for people's express consent to do it.

Telstar99 · 20/03/2018 12:35

I don't mind the head massage, but never understand why they do it. Why DO they do it? Confused

Telstar99 · 20/03/2018 12:36

I don't mind the head massage, but never understand why they do it. Why DO they do it? Confused