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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be Annoyed with dd's Teacher

65 replies

houseworkhater · 30/03/2010 20:53

I will try and keep this brief. Had parents evening for dd who is 8 and in year 3.
Every previous parent's evening has been very good with the teacher praising dd efforts and achievements.
However came away from this one in shock tbh.
Her teacher is the same one she had in year 1and has been her teacher since January as the year 3 teacher left at Christmas to begin maternity leave. The one on maternity leave also taught dd in year 2. So Apart from reception class dd has had the same 2 teachers and they have always said that she is very bright and a very pleasant member of the class. Her current teacher said previously that he would love a classful of my daughter, she is so good to teach.
Anyway tonight he said that although academically she is very bright she is beginning to "get on his nerves" his own words as when he speaks to her she quite often acknowledges him and he is "getting tired of her".
As if this wasn't enough I questioned whether her sitting on the third table from the top was still accurate in maths as I had always believed dd to be quite mathematically minded- I work in a school and know that she is cabable of doing at least the middle ability work of the year 4 class which I am in. The teacher then said oh yes I am going to move dd to the top table as in the recent sats test she scored the highest in the class and has more than likely been doing work which is far too easy for her-we are more than half way through the year and he is only now going to give her the appropriate work!!!

My final gripe concerned a personal issue which he admits he knew nothinh about but was very glad I had informed him.

Tbh I am left feeling annoyed at both him and the teacher on maternity leave as I feel strongly that both have failed in their job. If I didn't work in school would I have known to question her maths group or would she have been left to coast? And as for the getting on his nerves comment the more I think about it the more I want to report him.
Am I over reacting?
Sorry for long post.

OP posts:
notanumber · 30/03/2010 21:07

Why are you annoyed with the teacher on maternity leave?

thesecondcoming · 30/03/2010 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedRedWine1980 · 30/03/2010 21:07

I dont quite get exactly WHAT you are annoyed about?

gerontius · 30/03/2010 21:09

What?

RedRedWine1980 · 30/03/2010 21:10

Exactly gerontius- glad its not just me

MrsPixie · 30/03/2010 21:10

eh?

EvilTwins · 30/03/2010 21:11

Not sure what you're annoyed about in terms of the "she acknowledges him" thing, and obviously can't comment on the "personal" thing. As for the maths thing though, is it possible that she's had a surge recently, and that the tests they've sat has enabled the teacher to move all the kids around to a more appropriate spot? I'm a teacher (secondary though) and really don't think that many children follow a linear path in terms of their development and achievement. If she's on the right table now, then great. You could always ask for extra bits for her if you're worried she's now behind where she should be.

seeker · 30/03/2010 21:11

More info needed!

gerontius · 30/03/2010 21:12

What?

Spacehopper5 · 30/03/2010 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lockets · 30/03/2010 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Firawla · 30/03/2010 21:14

what does he mean by acknwledges him? i would have thought that means she listens when he talks, why is that annoying?

Plumm · 30/03/2010 21:15

I'm another one that doesn't understand the first point.

Pozzled · 30/03/2010 21:15

What exactly does 'she acknowledges him' mean?

blametheparents · 30/03/2010 21:15

I don't think a teacher should be using the phrase 'get on his nerves' about a pupil. Seems pretty unprofessional

Portoeufino · 30/03/2010 21:15

Do you mean she "answers back"? It is not very clear to me either. I know my dd is quite bright and a "joy" according to the teacher but she doesn't stop talking at school and I know there is some exasperation on the teacher's part. She is a professional and deals with it, but parent's evenings also highlight to us things we can help with on the behaviour front.....

MangoTango · 30/03/2010 21:16

What was his explanation for why she gets on his nerves and why he is getting tired of her? I think it is a rather unprofessional way of phrasing it tbh. Did you mean that it annoys him that she doesn't acknowledge him when he speaks to her? If that is so, then could she have stuff on her mind so she is caught up in that and doesn't realise she has been spoken to? Or a hearing problem.
I feel for you as it is upsetting when teachers say negative things at parents evening. I would make another appt to discuss this further if i were you. You could say that you are keen to help her overcome her weaknesses and want to discuss what you can do at home to assist her. Might be a good way of pressing him further and getting to the bottom of it.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/03/2010 21:16
Biscuit
Hulababy · 30/03/2010 21:17

Do you mean that quote often she doesn't acknowledge him? Otherwise not sure wht you mean with that sentence. Not sure I like the phrase "gets on his nerves" as not professional and somewhat damning, but it is hard to tell re context with this sentence. need clarification on what you mean.

When did she do the recent test? How recent? What were her scores in previous tests that meant she was on the other table? Children do vary in how they perform, so this could account for only just changing the tables.

The personal issue? Not sure without more info. Is it something he shoyld have been aware of and had missed? Or smething he was unlikely to know about? If latter it is hardly his fault!

What is your issue with the absent teacher?

gerontius · 30/03/2010 21:18

If he's only been here since January, and based on recent results was going to move her to the top table anyway, what's the problem?

Bluebell99 · 30/03/2010 21:20

I'm wondering if the OP meant "ignores him " rather than acknowledges him.

thesecondcoming · 30/03/2010 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portoeufino · 30/03/2010 21:30

I almost hate to say it, but we need to SUPPORT our teachers more. At they end of the day, they are the professionals in this area. Without evidence that there is some kind of malpractice occuring I cannot understand that the minute someone gets a BAD report on their dc, it is the teacher at fault.....

My dd, as I said already, seems reasonably bright and LOVES school. Still the teacher has highlighted certain things. We don't go away from parent's evening feeling all slighted and blaming the school, we take the points on board and think of ways we can help dd to do things differently.

Thediaryofanobody · 30/03/2010 21:32

YANBU he sounds like he's quite hostile to your DD, I would be rather unprofessional to say she's getting on his nerves and irritated by her. I feel that your DD has to spend her school day with him.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 30/03/2010 21:39

He/you need to clarify what it is that she is doin to irritate him/get on his nerves. Everyone has a breaking point, teachers are not immune to this. If you find out what she is doing then it will make it easier to help her and support her teacher.

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