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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave DS in his wet PJs for a while?

85 replies

OTTMummA · 30/03/2010 18:24

Ds in the last few days has started deliberatly tipping his drinks over or pouring them overhimself, its driving me mad.

He always has ( last 3-4 months ) a cup of water or juice on his table, and has been really good not spilling, and even when he has spilt we just go ' oh dear next time we'll be more careful! '

so i don't berate him for accidents, but twice today i have watched him pour it over himself!

Should i leave him to stew in wet PJ's or change him?! im so mad im contemplating putting him to bed in them.

OP posts:
CirrhosisByTheSea · 30/03/2010 22:51

I mean, I am really, really trying but I simply cannot imagine a scenario where my child was doing something that could be fixed INSTANTLY by using a lid....and instead, not putting a lid on a cup and getting 'driven mad' by it and thinking of 'leaving him to stew' in wet clothes clearly as a punitive measure......it's just - baffling.

IMoveTheStars · 30/03/2010 22:51

he's 2! not even almost 3, he's only 2. there is no discipline issue here, just your rigidity. 2yo's do things like this to see what happens. If they get a reaction, they're more likely to do it again.

LadyBiscuit · 30/03/2010 22:55

He is learning cause and effect. How on earth is he ever going to understand that tipping water makes things wet unless he experiments? He isn't being naughty, he's testing. Well, he isn't until you get cross and then he's going to carry on doing it because it gets a reaction.

Give him a sippy cup, don't worry about it. Oh - and by the way, my DS is 3, still drinks out of a sippy cup a lot of the time and has perfect teeth. Even the dentist said so

Original poster
OTTMummA · 30/03/2010 23:11

have none of you heard me, He won't drink from a sippy cup - of any kind, ive got 5 different kinds in the cuboard! but he is having none of it lol.

so no i won't and can't revert back to a 'sippy' cup, he will eventually learn, although i might not leave it 20 mins next time.

OP posts:
IMoveTheStars · 30/03/2010 23:16

it's not really about the cup, it's your attitude towards it. Consequences are not really on the priority list for such a youngun

UniS · 30/03/2010 23:22

no open cup on his table would seem the next move to make. Sippy cup or sports bottle or no drink on "his" table.

wet PJs in a warm house for little bit won;t hurt, putting him to bed in them is bit harsh. Can he dress/undress him self yet?

Our 3 yr old went through a phase of spilling cups daily or more frequently. he hated the lidded cup and had a tantrum everytime I got it out in midst of clearing up spilt drink ,but it served its purpose... he started to look out for his beaker again and move it away from his elbows/ edge of table etc.

Goldenbear · 30/03/2010 23:25

Hang on- you had no qualms about asserting your will over his by letting him sit in wet clothes but you can't persuade him to use a sippy cup?

Original poster
OTTMummA · 31/03/2010 00:13

no i can't persuade him to use a 'sippy' cup he's a very stubborn boy, my Mil still had a beaker at her house he used to use but he refused that aswell dispite having dry lips she told me, she gave in and he now uses a cup there aswell - i don't see why you don't understand he won't drink from anything else?!
theres nothing else to add really, thankyou for all your comments

OP posts:
McBitchy · 31/03/2010 00:20

ottamum

if he tips his drink repeatedly and refuses a sippy cup then 'fine' no drink

he wont waste away but he will end up thirsty and learn

claw3 · 31/03/2010 00:35

Have you tried giving him a straw?

Original poster
OTTMummA · 31/03/2010 00:38

yes claw, he used to and i have tried the last few days, but nope, he just stirs the drink and flicks it everywhere and then chucks it at me with a big ' NO '!
I think the novelty of it wore off a while ago lol.

OP posts:
claw3 · 31/03/2010 00:40

As you are probably already aware, everything children do good or bad is for attention. Personally i wouldnt react in anyway at all, especially if he is smiling at you whilst doing it and you are gasping.

I would totally ignore and just change him.

posieparker · 31/03/2010 07:47

I would a quarter fill a cup, offer it to him frequently but keep it out of reach.

LittleBunnyFooFoo · 31/03/2010 08:17

Pouring schema - provide plenty of play opps for him to do his pouring and he may just leave his drinks alone, probably not like the one in the clip if you got cross with his tipping a cup of water

groundhogs · 31/03/2010 08:50

agree with posieparker. either that or drinks only when he's finished his food and you can sit and supervise.

groundhogs · 31/03/2010 08:52

I also think you have to tell him off. he's trying it on, he knows it's wrong and doing it on purpose.

The time for 'Oh dear, never mind' has passed.

thesecondcoming · 31/03/2010 09:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 31/03/2010 09:30

agree with posie - the logical response if you can't use a sippy cup is not to get driven mad, and punish, but to not allow him to hold the cup! Offer it lots, but on a very controlled basis. There really are, 99% of the time, simple ways round things.....

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 31/03/2010 09:56

Oh poor lad. They are just learning at this age, it's not about discipline and right from wrong so much as explaining and learning. I don't think you need to just go ' oh dear next time we'll be more careful! ' as that's not teaching him what you want to learn - but there's a whole stage of showing him about cause/effect that lies between that response and getting 'so mad'. You can allow yourself to be assertive about what you want.

So, for example, if he wants to see what happens when he pours a drink over himself, put him in an empty bath, maybe in his PJs, with a cup, and let him experiment. It will turn into the most fun you can imagine. And during it you keep reminding him that we don't do this when we are at the table because we don't want to have to wash our clothes all the time. And perhaps offer to take his PJs off if he wants to sit at the table.

These things will help him learn and make connections. My DS still remembers with a sense of awe the time he refused to take his pants off to get in the bath and I said, OK, lets have a bath with pants on and see what it feels like. He can't believe I really put him in with them on, but I did and he decided he didnt like the feeling and that was the end of that.

Goldenbear · 31/03/2010 10:04

Or you could have a discussion with him regarding rules, expectations and consequences. Encourage everyone who cares for him to attend, grandparents and such like so that he is clear that there is no fun to be had anywhere! You could back it up with some kind of chart to reward him for compliance to 'the rules'. As a reward allow him to do something he really enjoys,maybe allow him to throw a cup of water across the table!

thesecondcoming · 31/03/2010 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 31/03/2010 10:06

?

porcamiseria · 31/03/2010 10:10

FFS give him a sippy cup! hes only 2, plenty of time for him to learn to use a normal cup, whats the rush!?

Goldenbear · 31/03/2010 10:18

There must be some fun in getting messy or you wouldn't be attending messy play TSC?

wishingchair · 31/03/2010 10:33

I think the clue is when you said "he even smiled at me the second time when i gasped at him whilst doing it". He does it, you gasp, he smiles. He does it, you gasp, he smiles.

Stop reacting. Say "oh dear, we don't spill our drinks as they make a mess". Take the drink away, clean him up, snack/meal time over.

Take away the gasping and the fuss and it will soon get boring for him