To be annoyed that i cannot do anything about this neighbour

[ray81]

Right, where i live there a few houses although none of them face directly onto ours, at the back of our house we have the garden which isnt very big and a house that is side onto us quite close. This house has a window in the side of the building which i assume is a bathroom window as it has the frosted glass in it. I have never thought much of it until a few months ago when the people living in this house started smoking hanging out of this window.
Now the window is directly opposite my DDs bedroom window and when they are hanging out of it they can see directly into her room and can look down on my garden and into my kitchen, this is making me very uncomfortable, my DD is 8 and doesnt always remember to close her curtains when she is getting changed in the mornings or evening, as you can imagine i am very hot on it since this has started happening but there have been times when she hasnt and they have been out there which has made me feel quite sick, its also very uncomfirtable when i am in my kitchen or in the garden doing things and there is someone watching me. It feels like i have no privacy whilst at the back of the house, and that when my DD is playing in her room someone can watch her though the window.

I have contacted the council and they have said there is nothing they can do about it at all and i am realy annoyed, surely i should be able to feel comfortable in my own house. We have another neighbour who is next to us and have a DD who is 13, although its not directly opposite her room they can see into hers too and they are not happy about it either.

So AIBU about this would anyone else feel the same?

as someone who's had nightmare neighbours, if this is their worst offence you're let off quite lightly. it could be a hell of a lot worse.

We have lived in this house for 5 yrs and we have never ever had an issue with it until now, when we brought the house there was a big tree right infront of the window so you couldnt realy see it at all, then they had it cut down for good reasons but this was 4 yrs ago they only started doing this about 4 months ago.

I must admit when and if we move it will be something we will look at alot more closely.

If you don't want them seeing in, then I'm afraid it's up to YOU to do something to obscure YOUR windows.

I can understand why OP dislikes what is happening. It sounds odd to me that they have to smoke in their bathroom. If they're trying not to smoke in the house surely they would do it outside?

Unfortunately, I suspect there isn't much you can do OP. If they changed the frosted window to clear glass then you might have a case, as it would obviously overlook your property. My brother's house has a room which had to have frosted glass on the bottom panes as it overlooked someone else's property and only top panes open for the same reason.

Your only hope might be if it's the teenagers indulging in a secret smoke. You might have a case then if the parents aren't aware.

Not a nice situation to be in, you have my sympathy.

Sounds like a right pain in the arse tbh.

We had a neighbour like that opposite our old flat. She'd be constantly looking in, I think just in a vague absent minded way as our windows were just in her line of vision.

DH got really narked with it though and one day made a massive sign that said "STOP LOOKING AT ME!" and paraded around in nothing but pants holding it over his head.

Perhaps you could try something similar?

Am finding it hard to have HUGE amounts of sympathy since you aren't living in the Bronx, on a flood plain, at the foot of a volcano.

If you were in a shanty town or were homeless I'd have sympathy but we all ought to be very grateful for the fact we have a roof over our heads and live in relative safety.

I know it isn't nice when niggly issues get to us. None of us are immune to that feeling but when you have s number of options and when the reality is this home was your own choice and when you over dramatise the issue of being 'looked at' I just think you make yourself sound hugely ungrateful for what you do have.

plane

no, plain

Get some window film from Brume. DD's room looks out over our back and across to the park behind. I've put some Brume film with little stars on it and it works really well and looks really nice.

How about frosted film for her window?

www.windowfilmfactory.com/for-privacy.htm

They are not "watching" you or your DD, they are looking out of their window. Which is sort of what windows are for when you think about it.

I can't believe you actually contacted the council about this. What on earth did you think they were going to do?

Why haven't you got nets for DD's room and a blind for the kitchen?

maybe they dont appreciate the fact that the only 'view' they have is of your dd!!

hobbgoblin

Teeny hijack- Dastardly- that stuff from Brume- does it let in as much light as nets, do you think? Or more/less? Our kitchen window looks directly into next door's kitchen window and the nets keep getting grimy. I'd like something better.

MrsFlittersnoop - windows are for looking in, not looking out of!

If you don't want blinds on dds window, then how about making them opaque with something like this?. it just peels back off, so is only temporary.

We are getting them for our windows which run up the ground floor to the rood, so length of 2 floors, straight up the stairs, so I can run up and down stairs in my pants if necessary without scaring the neighbours

sorry temporary but lasts years

perfect

Hobbgoblin Of course i am grateful for what i have and to be perfectly fair you have no idea where i have lived or what my life has been like so i dont realy think you can comment on that.
Are you telling me you would be happy with this realy? it would not get to you even alittle bit?
It is very hard to think you are not being watched when you can actually see them looking in and when they have even smiled at you.

I know this is a small issue in the grand scheme of things but serioulsy i am amazed at how many people would be happy with this.

I think i am going to go down the blind route i can get the same all over the house, hopefully then they wont be able to see in and i can relax about it.

Hobbgoblin not realy my thing however i do like those Ernestthebavarian.

nobody is saying they would be happy with it....but i think most people would have DONE something about it by now if it bothered them as much as this bothers you!

put nets up, I did in dd's room(very much doubt the bloke other the road is remotely interested, although his dog goes hang out of the window) but for her own sense of privacy.

There was a thread a while ago about the physical impossibility of passing a naked window without staring in it.

ps they're not staring at your DD. They are having a fag. Don't worry, one day soon this will be banned.

I have done something about it, i have worried and tried to get my DD to close her curtains as much as possible.
TBH we realy havent had the money to go out and buy blinds etc they are quite expensive as we have a baby due in 4 weeks so have been trying to budget for that, plus i was just trying to ignore it and not let it bother me but that has not worked and it is making me uncomfortable in my own home so i will need to find the money somewhere and get blinds.
I posted on here because i did want to know if it was just me being abit hormonal but it seems some do agree that they wouldnt like it either so i know it isnt just me, it does annoy me alittle that i am going to have to spend out money because of it though, however as you said it bothers me so i need to do something about it now.

I think it's strange that you say you don't want to speak to them yet you would go to the council?

Go round and have a word if it's bothering you. Or take up naturism and parade around the garden at key smoko times. That'll sort it

You're bonkers. Thats all there is to it.