Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Probably, but DD is upset so what do you think?

59 replies

sherby · 29/03/2010 22:12

DD is 4, in reception.

The class do some VIP thing, where every week 2 DC get to be the VIPs. So they sit on a special chair, get responsibility for taking the register to the office and other classroom stuff. They also get the VIP book to take home with a teddy and a badge etc etc.

They are all supposed to get a turn once in the term (you can see where this is going ). So obviously it is the last week of this term and DD hasn't had it yet. And she comes home today bloody upset because the teacher asked everyone to put their hand up if they haven't had it yet (3 kids) and she didn't get chosen.

Now obviously if there are too many children in a term it will have to be carried over to the next one, but expecting a 4 yr old to wait a whole term and still not get it and to be the only child who hasn't had it seems a bit off to me.

Especially as I know that the little sod who was called the TA a c**t during the class assembly had it two weeks ago

So AIBU to think that with only 3 kids left in the last week, that the teacher could have just let 3 of them be VIP this week?

OP posts:
janeite · 29/03/2010 22:13

YANBU and it sounds a silly idea to me anyway.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 29/03/2010 22:14

Life's not fair. That's what my mum told me, and that is what I tell my DCs. Sorry, I know she's only 4, but she'll get over it.

Poledra · 29/03/2010 22:15

Whole thing sounds like a bloody silly idea to me. But YANBU to think that 3 of them could have done it this week.

KurriKurri · 29/03/2010 22:16

Sounds like a scheme designed to cause upset I'd have thought all those 'VIP' jobs could have been shared out a bit, then all the children would have had a go at something. But no doubt I will be shouted down with cries of 'Of course its not fair, life's not fair'

HumphreyCobbler · 29/03/2010 22:16

I would have let three of them do it on just one week.

It has nothing to do with any of the other children though, don't know why you brought that up.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 29/03/2010 22:16

... but then someone would complain they didn't get to be a VIP on their own.

KurriKurri · 29/03/2010 22:17

xposts Jamie!

HumphreyCobbler · 29/03/2010 22:17

they do it two at a time normally

sherlockH · 29/03/2010 22:17

Message deleted

Hulababy · 29/03/2010 22:18

We have something similar but it is way more frequent then that and more organised too.

We have "special helpers" - two children each day are in charge of taking register back, running messages, being at start of line, etc.

But we have a list of children, in their partners, and we work through it logically every day.

The children do lik the "honour" of being the special helper, so not a daft idea IMO. But it does need to be fair and logically applied too.

Not fair for one child to have bee left out at all, nor for the teacher to not know who they have already chosen, etc.

Katey1010 · 29/03/2010 22:18

What a completely barmy idea. What on earth is the educational merit of this nonsense? Particularly if they are leaving your child out. I would be in to see the head and find out why they do this cobblers in the first place.

Hulababy · 29/03/2010 22:19

Oh, and if we had an odd number then we'd have three helpers one day if necessary.

MintHumbug · 29/03/2010 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HumphreyCobbler · 29/03/2010 22:20

Katey1010, have you actually been in a primary classroon recently? I expect they do this sort of thing in most classrooms. Perfectly normal.

emkana · 29/03/2010 22:20

yanbu at all

Jamieandhismagictorch · 29/03/2010 22:20

The teddy and badge thing is completely over the top. Children like the honour of helping. Virtue is its own reward and all that ....

< is turning into her own mother >

mememe30 · 29/03/2010 22:21

Last year my childrens school had something called start of the week that was similar. The child from the week before chose the next one. It was awful. Children thatwere always good waited till the summer term for a go. Now we have a smartie thing where there are 2 each week but names are pulled out of a box so sometimes its the same children all the time. So still not fair.

Original poster
sherby · 29/03/2010 22:24

yy the kids love it

but how hard can it be to work out how many kids are in the class and how many weeks in a term

OP posts:
kissyfurschaos · 29/03/2010 22:24

I would prob be upset if it were my child but I guess someone had to be and hopefull your DD will be first next term.
P.s am feeling quite sorry for 'the little sod who called T.A a c**.'' He is VERY young and has obviousley learnt that langauage somewhere and maybe it is the norm in his household so please don't take it out on him. My heart goes out to such children. Perhaps the teacher knows things about the poor lads backround that you don't and therefore knew this would be an extra special treat for a little boy with a very hard life.
Hope DD enjoys her V.I.P slot next term.

wannaBe · 29/03/2010 22:25

a 4 yo called a ta a c*t? how do you know?

Original poster
sherby · 29/03/2010 22:26

Because it was in front of everyone in the class assembly

OP posts:
kissyfurschaos · 29/03/2010 22:28

Our school has two helpers a day for register etc...
Bear in pre-school is a once a week thing names pulled out of hat.

lotster · 29/03/2010 22:28

YANBU - how mean!!

doodleboo · 29/03/2010 22:38

Maybe mention to the teacher casually that DD was upset, in a very calm, non acussational way? I would.

I know a lot of teachers and how hard and exhausting the job is, so you don't need to feel like the parents are criticising the "extras" they do like this VIP thing, when they are trying to make things more fun for the kids.

But because of everything they have to do the teacher may have missed that this particular extra is one of the most important things for some children in the class (it would have been for me at that age teacher's pet emoticon). I would definitely mention it but in a nice way.

Whatever stress she was dealing with that day probably put thinking on her feet and asking 3 of them to do it out of her head at that second. But i would tell her DD was upset because sometimes at 4 they forget these things, and sometimes they don't, it depends on your DD. My DS remembers everything and would be very upset for a long time about it, my DD would probably forget about it.

I know that SIL who is teacher training would be gutted when she got home and realised she had missed a child out, and would definitely start being more organised about it if she hadn't already. But they have SO much to do that she might not realise that she'd done it without the parent letting her know (in a nice way) even though she is lovely and thoughtful and a great teacher.

HTH, i don't think YABU, if you had stormed in after school that would be different! Adults get upset about "little" things too, doesn't mean they don't upset you! Hope she enjoys getting first turn next term!!!

doodleboo · 29/03/2010 22:40

When they're pulling names from a hat they need to remove the names of the children who've already had a turn first! Why not make life fair for them over the little things like that, it's not like they get a turn every week - they still have to wait and share. They get enough experience of life isn't fair in lots of other ways, seems a shame to introduce it there too. calm
Sorry for rant!