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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really annoyed at this? dh thinks i am!

59 replies

Broodymomma · 28/03/2010 20:49

So it was my son's 3rd birthday party on saturday. He had some pals at soft play then we had a few days before invited a few friends back to our house after for drinks and food. They all accepted. Told ds what friends were coming back and spent loads of money decorating house with party stuff, buying food/drink not to mention the 2 days cleaning in preparation for all these people coming back.
Fast forward to the party, everybody seemed to enjoy it no hassles, habded out the partybags and then never seen anyone again - all just went home without even telling us they were not coming back.
I was mortified and felt awful for my son. They were mostly dh's pals and he is saying "whats the problem" - I am furious. Felt they could of atleast said thankyou for the party and sorry we cant come back and at very last goodbye.
AMBU to think they have been very rude?

OP posts:
bruxeur · 28/03/2010 20:51

You are making no sense at all.

birdworthington · 28/03/2010 20:52

No, they have been really rude. They could have at least told you. I would say to them about it, let them know that you were expecting them and they didn't come back.

Tee2072 · 28/03/2010 20:52

I agree with bruxeur. What?

kittywise · 28/03/2010 20:53

?????????????????????????????????

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/03/2010 20:53

Weird. Had they forgotten? Are they parents though? Maybe they felt they should get their DCs home after the party? Or maybe they had better things to do (if childless)

But.....your DS will get over it, he's only three. He probably didn't even care if a load of adults came back or not. I'd be surprised if he remembered that people were supposed to come back at all.

BattyKoda · 28/03/2010 20:54

So you had a soft play party, and some were invited back to your house for a party after? But you gave out party bags at the end of the soft play session? Did they just not realise there was also a party at your house?

dizzydixies · 28/03/2010 20:54

they came to soft play first and then didn't come back to yours? did they realise the party was to continue for a selected few at the house?

or am I really confused

FabIsGettingThere · 28/03/2010 20:54
Confused
Spacehopper5 · 28/03/2010 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

KurriKurri · 28/03/2010 20:55

Was there some confusion about whether the party had ended at the soft play? seems a bit odd that no one came back if they had accepted, so perhaps a misunderstanding?

everybodylovesflumps · 28/03/2010 20:55

Don't worry, your message makes perfect sense. If you had only invited them verbally, maybe you could have reminded them at the end. "See you back at the house?" type of thing. If you didn't say anything at the end of the party they may have thought plans had changed and didn't want to seem pushy by saying "So are we still invited back to yours?". But overall, no, YANBU.

BattyKoda · 28/03/2010 20:55

(just one thing I would like to say though, don't spend 2 days before a party cleaning )

usualsuspect · 28/03/2010 20:56

Maybe they thought the party at the soft play was the party iyswim

bruxeur · 28/03/2010 20:57

The message does not make perfect sense.

Soft play then a few days later, a party at your house? Do you mean hours? For adults, or the three-year-olds?

Too much booze, innit.

Original poster
Broodymomma · 28/03/2010 20:59

Sorry everyone should have been more clear.

Yes had a party for my son at soft play. Invited dh's 3 best friends and their kids back to our house after the party to have some food and drink. They all accepted the invitation to our home. Texted them the night before to make sure they were still coming back to our house for food and drinks after they party at the soft play centre they all said yes they were.

When the party at soft play ended they all left and went home without telling us they were not coming to our house after all, they did not even say goodbye to us. After spending money on food and drink after they confirmed they would be coming to the house is it unreasonable to expect they could have told us before leaving that they were not coming to our house?

OP posts:
RJRabbit · 28/03/2010 20:59

They could have thought you had changed your mind and that the party was over when you handed out the party bags?

Did you mention the after-party to them again at the soft play?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/03/2010 21:00

No, she arranged the party at softplay, then a few days before the party invited some people to come back to theirs after softplay, they accepted, then left after softplay without a word.

I think.

SixtyFootDoll · 28/03/2010 21:00

OP does not make sense

A party then another party?

maybe your guests were as confused by the arrangements as we are?

GerbilMeasles · 28/03/2010 21:01

YANBU. I'd be pissed off as well, but your DS won't remember it and if they're mostly your DH's friends and he's not fussed, then not a lot you can do about it (except not invite them over again, or if you do, don't spend a fortune or break your neck cleaning).

TragicallyHip · 28/03/2010 21:03

YANBU so rude and I would be pretty pissed off!

nigglewiggle · 28/03/2010 21:04

YANBU, that is just plain rude. Why would your DH think you were being unreasonable to be annoyed? Has something happened between him and his friends? I can't see why he would think it was ok for them to just not turn up.

LadyBlaBlah · 28/03/2010 21:04

I get what you mean. But don't get why you wouldn't have mentioned it at the soft play centre. You know "See you later?", "do you want to follow us back".....anything that sort of mentions it?

RJRabbit · 28/03/2010 21:04

Sorry, cross-posted.

No, if you'd texted them the night before and they still said they were coming then something is well out of order. Were they alll offended by something that happened at the party?

BattyKoda · 28/03/2010 21:04

Was there food at the soft play? Maybe giving out party bags at the end confused them? Seems odd that all 3 would bugger of without saying anything...

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 28/03/2010 21:04

Perfectly clear. A soft play party then back to yours for drinks and grub.

What's hard to understand?

OP, it was very rude of them. You have 2 choices. You can challenge them or you can let it go.