to think that it does matter which university you go to?

[OrmRenewed]

My godson is brilliant. Bright, articulate, good-natured, good at sport and academic. He got 11A*s at GCSE. His school has told me he should apply to Oxbridge. He wants to do law.

His parents have basically conducted a campaign to discourage him. Why? As far as I can tell down to a really unpleasant reverse snobbery (Reading was good enough for me, it should be good enough for you, sort of thing). His dad maintains that all universities are as good as each other these days. AIBU in think that as the world and his wife go to university these days and now ones seem to spring up like mushrooms after rain, it matters even more that, if you can, you should take your chance to go to one of the top ones?

I am actually quite cross but it's not my business

agree with you - at least as far as a "proper" university. I think they hold more weight than the upgraded polytechnics

Are there money issues? Does it cost considerably more to go to Oxbridge? I can't think of any other reason why a parent wouldn't be proud as punch if their school had recommended this for their DC.

All universities are not as good as each other.

Law is very competitive (the profession, not the subject to study) and by stopping him going to oxbridge hisparents are deliberately knocking his chances because (rightly or wrongly) when he is looking for jobs the 'old boys' will believe that the only reaason someone would not go to oxbridge is because they're not good enough.

I guess there could be money issues. I don;t know. But that wasn't mentioned.

That's what I thought trillian.

If you're lucky enough to be told you're Oxbridge material then WTF is up with the parents discouraging that?! As much as I'd love my DS the same whether he wasn't academically astute enough to go to uni' or not, if he got told he was good enough for OB I'd be ecstatic.

Sounds like a bit of inverse snobbery to me. There was a LOT of it around in the '80s i.e middle-classes wanting to be working class etc etc. Can't understand parents holding their kids back...

YANBU. Apparently Cambridge is rubbish though.

YANBU to think it matters which University you go to. Of course it matters. Some are excellent, some are good, some aren't good.

But YABVU to get cross about it, and are his school for telling him he 'should' apply to Oxbridge, (fair enough to advise, but 'should'? and so are his parents for trying to steer him in another direction.

It is his life, his choice.

I can't bear parents or anyone else interfering and holding forth about what they think their children should do - it's always about transferring their own aspirations or ideals onto their children rather than letting them live their own life.

I agree. all universities are not all the same.

I went to Reading! Knew plenty of people who did law and have done very well for themselves...

I actually think YANBU but equally there's nowt wrong with Reading

Well, I suppose if there's a chance for oxbridge do it - more prestigious than the others - but it depends what they want to study as well.

I know someone who turned down oxford - almost 20 years on it didn't hurt their life chances.

If it were my son with this opportunity I'd encourage him.

Do the old polys not carry much weight? I hear great things about some of them in terms of technology.

I dunno - I went to an old university but in the context of my life now (20 years on) it means almost nothing.

I don't know what godparents do but perhaps you can talk to him see if oxbridge is a dream, just to go for it?

But violet, he wanted to go to Oxford when we discussed it a few months back. Which is why I am so shocked that his parents have 'put a stop to that' as his dad put it.

I think the snobbery about universities is pretty silly, really. The Russell Group universities have their reputations based on research, not teaching.

However, your God son is obviously a very able boy and so has the full range of options open to him. He should be encouraged to consider them all. Is Oxford the best place to do law in the UK? I'm not sure. He should be researching this, with the help of his parents and teachers/careers advisors at school.

Agree re Oxbridge - it's an opportunity that anyone would be mad to turn down.

However, updated polys can, and do, offer better degrees in some areas than the older universities, so in general I'd judge the quality of the individual course rather than the university.

Oxbridge should be cheaper - it was in my day
I went to Durham and my college bill (for accommodation & food) for a term was more than double my friend's equivalent bill at Cambridge.

YANBU. All universities are not the same. If he wants to become a lawyer, he would be better off at Oxbridge than anywhere else. I am a lawyer and used to work in the City. I was one of very very few people at my firm who had not been educated at Oxbridge. Of course you can still do well if you go to a less well-regarded university - but it makes it harder. If he wants to aim for Oxbridge, it baffles me why anyone would want to actively discourage him? Very odd.

Agree with Trillian. The old boys network is active in the legal profession.

Oxford is a brilliant place to study (well it was 20 years ago ...). If he liked the look of it then he should be encouraged

www.thecompleteuniversityguide.co.uk/single.htm?ipg=6643

Top 3 are Cambridge, LSE and Oxford.

I'm sorry for your godson, especially if he feels pressurised by his parents. Good luck to him.

It isn't just where you study it is the doors that get opened afterwards. And in this respect the name counts. Law is so hard fought once they graduate that going to Oxbridge would greatly enhance his chances, the old-boy network is still alive and well. There is nothing wrong with aspiring to the best, and it sounds like his school are actively encouraging him to do this which is great, part of the job of a good school is to help put forward suggestions that will aid the students in future life. If he is that bright then Oxbridge is the natural suggestion as it is still the most highly regarded and fought over place. When I was at school we got taken aside for extra classes by Yr 9 if we were deemed Oxbridge material, not just academia was covered, we did all sorts of things that were aimed at helping our eventual application in Yr 13. This didn't mean people had to apply, not everyone did. Hopefully he will make the decision that is right for him regardless of outside pressures.

However bear in mind that if other universities see Oxbridge on UCAS forms they may not offer a place (especially on sought after courses such as Law) as they don't see the point, if you get Oxbridge you're hardly going to pick them instead! He will have to be really sure of his grade potential etc before applying.

He should go for it. It doesn't cost more to go to Oxbridge -- less if anything, as there are more hardship funds, travel funds, book grants etc. Plus the accommodation arrangements are a lot more favourable than at most universities, which saves money, and there are pastoral tutors who involve themselves in helping students out with financial problems if necessary. It would be terrible for any student to not apply because of a perception that it would cost more.

I hate this sort of thing. He is nearly an adult to all intents and purposes. If he WANTS to apply then he should. Sod his parents. I got lots of a grief about my career choices way back when. I capitulated to pressure and ended up doing something I hated. I turned out ok in the end, but I would never do this to my dd.

yes, my impression is that the colleges have invested a lot in student accommodation because rents were always so high in Oxford.

Orm - your later post clarifies things. Your OP said the school said he 'should' go. That is very different from the young man himself wanting to go.

Of course he should apply if he thinks that is the best place for the course he wants to do, and his parents ABVU to try to discourage him.

Quote: "However bear in mind that if other universities see Oxbridge on UCAS forms they may not offer a place (especially on sought after courses such as Law) as they don't see the point, if you get Oxbridge you're hardly going to pick them instead! He will have to be really sure of his grade potential etc before applying."

????? Do you really believe this? I couldn't agree less!
When I went to uni (admittedly a long time ago now) you didn't apply to Oxbridge via UCAS anyway, although it may well be listed on your choices on the form, I don't know. It had zero effect on my uni applications anyway. Have never heard anything so ridiculous!

It is up to Orm's godson where he goes to university - sounds like reverse snobbery going on here. Oxford is one of the best places to study law and a decent Oxford degree remains an advantage in the legal profession This week it was reported that 38% of trainees at "Magic Circle" solicitors' firms went to Oxford or Cambridge - and the percentage of pupils at the Bar must be higher.