To shout at someone parking parent & child space with NO CHILD IN CAR

[ElleBing]

Right, sorry for the incoming rant but I am STILL furious about this...

Pulled up in supermarket carpark yesterday with DS and 6 month old niece in back of car. It's pouring with rain so I pull into the parent/child bay looking for a space. There's one in sight so I drive towards it only to be beaten by a big, fat BMW driving against the one-way system! "Oh well" I think and go to drive off UNTIL a couple with no kid get out of the car. I did get angry straight away. Why the fuck should the LOs get soaked because they're too lazy to park elsewhere? I wound my window down and said "you do know you're supposed to have a child to park in parent and child?" the woman leaned in really aggressively telling me that her son was inside the supermarket with his grandma (wtf?) So I let it go...

Half an hour later, I'm pushing LOs round in trolley when I see that couple, with no kid. She knew I'd seen but I didn't say anything. Next thing I know, I'm looking at the baking potatoes and the deranged cunt is shoving her mobile phone in my face showing me a picture of her DS. "THAT'S MY SON!" I was like "And? I've got a picture of my disabled MIL on MY phone. Doesn't mean I'd park in a disabled space without her in the car!" The she started trying to intimidate me (she was a lot bigger than me) by towering over me repeatedly saying "DON'T question ME" Who the fuck does she think she is? I could feel myself getting to boiling point so I very calmly told her to fuck off (don't think LOs heard!) and walked off.

I am STILL angry about this today. AIBU? If I'd been caught out doing something like that, I'd think "fair enough" and move on, NOT start verbally attacking the person who caught me out. I felt like telling her that she could use the extra walk from the normal spaces to shift some fat off her arse but that would just be puerile, wouldn't it?

I have read through this thread and I think it just boils down to manners and common sense I am a SAHM so I don't go into town on a saturday with my dd in a buggy if I can help it. I choose NOT to go to the supermarket at lunchtime or school kick out time.

But surely it should work both ways? If you are capable of walking then don't take up a P&C space if there are plenty of 'normal' spaces available. It IS a safety issue imo, I hate having my dd at the mercy of cars racing round carparks and if the P&C spaces mean that you can shove the trolley up beside your car safe in the knowledge that you won't be destroying yours or someone elses paintwork whilst keeping your dc safe then surely thats a good thing for all concerned?

Sorry I meant to say YANBU

It's funny how the OP mentions a Big Fat BMW. I guess it wouldn't have been as upsetting had it been a Smart car?

Defo YANBU.

Gets right on my tits when people use those spaces with no DCs. It's simple courtesy. the other spaces don't have the space either side to get the car seat out.

Must say if I was getting grief like that in the shop I would have contacted security. simple really, and you don't have to lie awake wishing you had done more.

It's alway fucking BMW drivers....

mummc2 - the family you mention what difference does their race make? I find that quite offensive!

Ellie I have the same frustration I've tried different times of day to try to find spaces there but no always successfully! I'm not so worried about baby getting wet as you can always cover/run to a distant space and the first thing put said child in car so minimum amount of getting wet!

Our tescos I complained about it to customer services to be told there is nothing that can be done, and that they don't even challenge people any more because the security guards were getting abuse!

I agree its a lack of respect/manners I've never parked in P&C parking when I don't have dd with me even if it is 10pm at night its just not the done thing!

I had the same happen to me at the supermarket today a commercial vehicle (2 seater car/van thingy) with the passenger staying in the seat! very annoying!

I complained to tescos abotu a perfectly able body couple (50's) parking there, and was told that disabled users have a right to use those spaces as well (I have no issue with this they are a higher priority) however these couple had no blue badge, and there were other spaces they could have parked in about the same distance! I think alot of people its abotu damage to their car.... so if they are worried about that park miles away from the entrance thats what i used to do when my car was brand new!

The best solution would be to make all the spaces a tad bigger thus getting rid of the need so much for the P&C spaces but that cuts down on the number of cars that can park in said supermarket/car park so they won't do that!

I'm very anti approaching people these days as I think society has changed so much that you don't know if someone will turn a knife on you or something so its really not worth the risk!

I think I have to agree with ImSoNotTelling on this one. It comes down to it being those particular type of rude people who believe that common courtesy and society's rules don't apply to them. I'm sure we've all known the type (or are the type I suppose):

• people who use their mobiles while driving
• people who park in specialised parking spots that don't apply to them
• people who cut into traffic without looking
• people who block other people's drives
• people who park in school zones and on pavement near schools (or on pavement anywhere that it inconveniences others)
• people who jump queues
• people who talk on their mobiles in theatres, restaurants, and such

Common courtesy is becoming rare, sad to say. (Common sense is also on the endangered species list, I think)

I think you were brave and not at all unreasonable.

I have questioned people a couple of times and heard similar responses. Now I just park a trolley behind their car!

I'm pleased that some one else is standing up to these inconsiderate morons, but be careful. If they're showing that mentaltity then they're clearly going to get agressive when questioned.

I'm one of the mums who harrasses drivers who park on the chevrons outside the school on the school run - long may our campaign run!

I've been thinking about the people who say "P&C spaces aren't a legally binding thing so stop moaning blah blah blah" BUT as I understand it, P&C spaces became a widespread thing after supermarkets/shopping centres got ticked off with getting complaints from drivers about mums trying to load LOs into cars and hitting their cars accidentally. Now, the way I see it is, you can't have it both ways. If you'd prefer NOT to get your car scratched by a struggling mum, then we do need these spaces, so stop taking them up when you don't have a child. Simples

Imagine one day you walk into a shop and their is a sign up reading "free cake for brunnettes".

I as a blonde, nick a bit of cake.

That is about the level of severity of nicking a parent and child space.

No, you are not being unreasonable, that sounds sooooo annoying. Do what the above poster suggests, tell the shop next time

YANBU,
It is annoying, our local tesco has about 10 spaces for M&C and they are really helpful as they are safe for me to unload my DD.
I guess the problem is that if people park there they know fine well what they are doing and are hardly likely to realise the error of ways and move on.
I have said something on a couple of occasions and just got abuse so I figure it's not worth it....Karma karma karma will get them in the end.....both times Karma seems to have already got them in shape of enormous arses and probable heart disease so.....
I hate bad manners though, teach your kids to do better and hopefully the times they will a change....

YANBU. I have given evil and pointed stares to people in cars with no car seats while in parent and child spaces and at one time I even pointed and said where is your child...they did have the good grace to look sheepish so..

The thing is, its the law to have car seats and so I think the Govt should be doing more to enforce the correct use of PC spaces because in a normal space, it is very hard to put a child into a car seat - especially a wriggly toddler!

Will welcome politican visits a la Riven to discuss the matter further

yabu.

Well, the good thing is that the Martyrs on here don't use the spaces ( I have no idea why they feel they don't deserve something nice! ) but I remember when I had a baby and a runaway toddler and they were a lifesaver. I don't understand why people want to deprive others of something so useful, they must be saddos and I take Cloudbase's point about trying to protect other driver's cars too.

I think we need to get the shops to help us and things will change. Park behind the offender and refuse to move you car til your shop is done, that would make them think!

He'd have a farking heart attack at my mixed heritage household

what really really gets me is disabled (old people most of the time) that think they have the right to park in the pc spaces!!! my mum is disabled and i wouldnt park in a d'space without her. makes me so angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The difference is, kieranandalexsmummy, that blue badge holders can park practically anywhere they like and P&C spaces aren't covered by the law like disabled spaces. I really don't care if a blue badger parks in a P&C space if there are no disabled spaces but if there are, I just think "aw, come on!" Just cos you're disabled doesn't mean that you can't show a bit of courtesy!

The P&C Parking Spaces thread... there is one a week (at least). Maybe instead of having the same debate week in - week out, we should just lobby the supermarkets to make all the spaces a reasonable size. Other than at Christmas, the supermarket carparks are never full - lose some spaces, make all the spaces a decent size....

i hate to say this but i know of at least 4 people who don't have kids but keep a car seat in the back of the car just so they can use the P & T spaces....

I did this yesterday . My excuse was that I had my dad with me and he'd left his disabled badge at home so we couldn't use the adjacent disabled spaces. I felt v guilty (and I felt the eyes of watching Mnetters!)

WTF? Who would buy fucking car seat just to monopolise a P&C space? That is really bloody pathetic and I hope karma slaps them hard

ellebing, for a second i thought you were complaining about diabled badge holders parking in p&t when there werent any spaces left then! thank god i read it properly!
i wouldnt begrudge anyone with mobility issues any space. although i do find it odd when they park in parent and toddler, as they are generally further away...
dont diagree with it though, its the parents with toddlers who get pissed off that there are loads of diabled spaces empty and the parent/child spaces are all full.
a child is not a handicap

YANBU, although I do get why some folk think it's getting all worked up over not much. I agree it's only a car park space and yes it's not that important in the grand scheme of things.

But, in common with many other posters, it is not about my DD staying dry or me being able to park as near to the store as possible, it is about width of space. I don't mind where the spaces are as long as they are wide so I can get DD out without bashing other people's cars and they have trolleys nearby. Quite happy to walk a bit etc - I think it does DD good to experience the weather, rain or shine.

Also, IMO, people who don't care where they park also don't seem to care about other rules and standards eg exceeding the speed limit (especially outside schools), talking on the mobile whilst driving, jumping red lights, parking on zig zags etc etc. For me it's about respecting the society we live in and caring about the impact your actions have on others. People who don't care about others, don't care if they have made a parent's day that little bit harder by taking the last P&C space when they have no child with them.
And they wonder why our kids are growing up with no manners, respect etc....sigh.

Before I became a mum I would never have parked in a P&C space - same as I would never speed past a school at home time (and still wouldn't of course) etc

And I have to admit, that as a company car driver, if I have to park in a standard space and some idiot parks too close to me (especially when it's obvious I have a car seat in the back), I have no qualms about bashing the other car door with mine. A bit of common sense is needed. If I'm out and about I try not to park too close to anyone, as everyone needs space.

And, just an observation, I tend to find that the people
who hog the P&C spaces without children tend to be BMW or 'chelsea tractor' types. Not jealous at all of their cars, I drive a very nice car thanks, but again, IME, people who buy BMWs, 4x4s etc tend to be poor drivers, poor parkers and quite self-obsessed. As I drive 25000+ miles a year, I feel I have some experience in this area.