To shout at someone parking parent & child space with NO CHILD IN CAR

[ElleBing]

Right, sorry for the incoming rant but I am STILL furious about this...

Pulled up in supermarket carpark yesterday with DS and 6 month old niece in back of car. It's pouring with rain so I pull into the parent/child bay looking for a space. There's one in sight so I drive towards it only to be beaten by a big, fat BMW driving against the one-way system! "Oh well" I think and go to drive off UNTIL a couple with no kid get out of the car. I did get angry straight away. Why the fuck should the LOs get soaked because they're too lazy to park elsewhere? I wound my window down and said "you do know you're supposed to have a child to park in parent and child?" the woman leaned in really aggressively telling me that her son was inside the supermarket with his grandma (wtf?) So I let it go...

Half an hour later, I'm pushing LOs round in trolley when I see that couple, with no kid. She knew I'd seen but I didn't say anything. Next thing I know, I'm looking at the baking potatoes and the deranged cunt is shoving her mobile phone in my face showing me a picture of her DS. "THAT'S MY SON!" I was like "And? I've got a picture of my disabled MIL on MY phone. Doesn't mean I'd park in a disabled space without her in the car!" The she started trying to intimidate me (she was a lot bigger than me) by towering over me repeatedly saying "DON'T question ME" Who the fuck does she think she is? I could feel myself getting to boiling point so I very calmly told her to fuck off (don't think LOs heard!) and walked off.

I am STILL angry about this today. AIBU? If I'd been caught out doing something like that, I'd think "fair enough" and move on, NOT start verbally attacking the person who caught me out. I felt like telling her that she could use the extra walk from the normal spaces to shift some fat off her arse but that would just be puerile, wouldn't it?

I totally understand that M&C spaces aren't covered legally but it's common courtesy, right?

I seldom park in those spaces if it's just me and DS, he's two fgs. But when I'm in charge of a 6 month old baby that doesn't belong to me I am NOT letting her get wet/risking her safety by NOT using spaces that are designed for safety's sake! And to everyone going on about "how did our mums manage" well, our mums managed without a lot of things that we now take for granted and isn't life a lot more pleasant for it?

Sorry if the c-word offended anyone. I never get to use it IRL and I do like the word. It describes some people so accurately and in a way that "bitch" or "cow" would never cover

Maybe I am a bit envious of the BMW. I'm envious of lots of things like women that are thinner than me but I don't go getting upset at them for it. It's just a coincidence (not) that this inconsiderate tithead happened to be driving one. DH works as a design engineer for a luxury car company and he said that he doesn't like that he designs cars to be driven, for the most part, by goons that think they have a God-given right to park where they like/flaut traffic rules. My rage-o-meter was tipped again when we pulled up at B&Q to find a luxury car taking up TWO spaces, presumably so that no-one else could park either side and bang the doors of his/her car

And, after all is said and dine, rules is rules and rules is needed unless we would like to live like savages.

ElleBing, i applaud you.
its OKAY to rant about inconsiderate idiots and it's OKAY to swear and call someone a cunt if you are riled and they are being. a. cunt.
something some mumsnetters need to get over...

I have been in the same situation. Actually had to emergency stop with my DS in the car when pulling into space on the end of supermarket car park row a lady shot at me the wrong way and into the space. I very calmly spoke to her explaining I'd been round the right way and she nearly caused an accident. She said she would only be 10 mins and I could have the space after if I was that despirate - the cheek!!!! She then said I couldn't do anything either as the supermarket don't own the car park and it's not private controlled. She was right so I told customer services a car had been parked too close to my car and I couldn't open the door and could they call the owner of the car to ask them politly to move it.

Just seeing her face as the owner of the car was called to customer services was a classic!!!!! Must have wondered for a bit about whether she was right or not!!!!

MrsC2010 Actually there are quite a few people on this thread who have said that they don't think there should be M&C spaces. There are lots of people that don't think that these spaces should be exclusive to whom they are marked (including you in one of your posts) for completely ignoring the fact that they are marked on private property owned by private companies that have these systems. As it is Private property people are parking on, offered as a courtesy to their customers the companies do have a right to enforce how it is used.

I understand how the language in the OP could offend many, it did not offend me. It was a RANT which was apologised for in advance. Most people having a rant say inappropriate things because they are letting feelings come into it, this is human nature. Furthermore the OP let it go in the parking lot, the unpleasant woman came to her looking to obviously exacerbate the situation.

What a tool she was.

If she had presented her actual son to you, then I suppose she could have been vindicated. But a picture of him? SHe probably snapped some random child on her mobile and presented it to you.

BTW, just to clarify: I didn't bring disabled MIL into ther ow to compare blue badge space with M&C spaces. I did it to illustrate hoe ridiculous it was to say "a picture of DS on my mobile qualifies me to park here"

What makes me chuckle is that she is exactly the type of C U Next Tuesday that would berate someone else without kids parking in a M&C space.

*the row. Sorry, typing quick before DH sees me on laptop instead of getting DS ready for grandma's.

Not at all Canuck, I have no problem with M&P spaces whatsoever...not sure where I have ever said otherwise to be honest...if I did it must be an internet comm problem.

Oh, and of course people have the right to say what they like during a rant, others also have to right to say that they wouldn't have done the same thing and to express dislike at the language used.

(But as we have to say in the classroom...dislike the behaviour not the person...I don't blame you for being hacked off Elle!)

Thanks, MrsC. TBH, I rarely swear IRL. I only said fuck off to her because I felt she was being overly aggressive, leering over me like Miss Trunchbull and I felt very defensive.

Just to throw more fuel on the "why do mums think they have more right to this/that/the other" fire, I also get extremely cheesed off when waiting for a lift in a shop with LO in buggy then 5 or 6 people with full-working legs/no buggies hop on into the lift leaving no room for buggys/wheelchair users. The escalators are about 20 ft away, guys. Again, I KNOW it's not legally enforcable to get people to use the escalators but I would never see a buggy/wheelchair user wait for a lift so that me and my family could use the lift instead.

Yes, I am fully aware that I am a moaning, self-righteous cow BUT manners/courtesy are under-rated IMO and I'm getting less tolerant of bad manners as I get older. I swore I'd never turn into my mother, chiding people for being rude but here I am!

Well, I console myself with the knowledge that these feckless losers who can't walk further than 5m ( and who have nothing physically wrong with them) and are too lazy to walk up a flight of stairs will get slowly less and less fit and able, and suffer the consequences!

WHY are perfectly able people reluctant to walk at all?

Well, I'm very happy for you Zapostrophe and I'm even more happy for your smugness

I am MORE than happy to park in a normal space and just be extra, extra vigilant wrt LOs safety/not bashing other cars when trying to get LO in car BUT I do not see why I should be denied something that a company has put in place for the benefit of parents because of the laziness of someone else...

And sorry but I do find it a little stressful trying to get 2 LOs into the car without hitting another car door/trying to stop my full trolley going off like a runaway train into another car whilst have hands full with LOs. I'd LOVE to be one of those mums who finds simply everything a breeze but hey, life ain't a washing detergent commercial for most of us.

Elle I wouldn't bother trying to convince the burning martyr's you were in the right

Our local supermarket has a Mum to be space in it I saw the Girls behind the desk making a congratulations to the world's first Pregnant MAN they tied baloons and streamers to it I'll bet he Never parked there again!

Haha Wonka, that's brilliant!

And Elle I know exactly what you mean, our local shopping centre has exactly that problem with lifts. I often go shopping with my mother there and she has one of those motability electric shopping wheelchairs (certainly keeps me fit keeping up with that bloody thing) and we normally have to wait for a couple of lifts to go by before we can find one with a space. People just stand in them, averting their eyes so they don't have to make eye contact and feel guilty. I normally make a point of saying very sweetly "oooh, is there room for a little one in there at all? Really? Oh I guess we'll just carry on waiting then" and hope they squirm.

Hahahaha, MrsC. Yep, that's happened to me in a very busy M&S. The lift doors opened SIX times before we managed to get it, each time they opened they were full of people who could easily use the escalators (seriously, they're about 12ft away)and they all did the averting eye thing. By the fifth time, when the doors opened, I asked "is there any way that someone could make room for us?" to which an old biddy replied "I'm not using the escalator, I'm registered disabled!" Of course I have no truck with disabled people usuing lifts fgs BUT you don't move any more on an escalator than you do in a lift and I'm sure she'd have walked round M&S just fine...

breathe elle, breathe

Yes, Flameproof, the martyrs are a touch tiresome. I just wonder if they refused gas and air/epidurals in labour because well, their mummy didn't need one. Or microwaves/televisions. Or cars. Oh...

you have to get clever with lifts.
if I take dd to our local mall(ds calls it that) we never use the mailn lifts as they are small and full of people who could use the escalators..
so we go into BHS and use thiers. added bonus as it is a talking one with mirrors that dd loves.

Agree on the lift thing. I'm happy to give people the benefit of the doubt as to whether they "need" it, but a group of 5 16/17-year old are very unlikely to actually need the lift.

On the other hand, some older people are afraid they'll trip and fall on escalators. When my grandmother was a little younger, she'd make us walk for ages to find stairs or a lift as she was too scared to get on an escalator. She can't climb stairs anymore, so even though she can (well, until recently) walk fine, she'd take the lift. Being scared is a valid reason, in my opinion. Being lazy not.

Some people with buggies are just as guilty, though. If it is, for example, you, your dh and a buggy: In a lot of places, the escalators are within view of the lifts. Surely one of you could take the escalators if it is busy.

Yeh it is really annoying but its really not worth letting yourself get so worked up by it, i once pulled up somewhere and saw a woman and her husband with child staring at an asian couple when i got out of my car i heard them say pretty much what you said " youre not supposed to park there they are for people with pushchairs and children" the man got really aggressive and started hurling abuse at the couple and said they had come to pick his mum and child up from inside. If wasnt that the man was calm there could have easily been a fight, people hurt and all over a car spot.

By the way i saw the asian couple bout an hour and alf later getting back in their car..... NO CHILD!!!!!

YANBU OP, what a loon and I don't blame you for still being angry and upset. It's not about the P&C spaces, per se. Like others have said, it's about manners, common courtesy and respect, and I know that I can get really shaken by how some people are completely lacking in all three.

So to those MNers telling the OP not to get so wound up about P&C spaces, please consider what this is really about. Those of us who get wound up over P&C spaces don't get upset because precious Tarquin might get wet. We get upset by how rude, antisocial and selfish these people are being.

Call me naive, but it really upsets me when I see people not following the 'rules'. It reminds me that the world is a much nastier place than I like to believe it is.

Like I said earlier in the thread, if it had merely been a case of getting pipped to the post at a P&C space by a no-childer, I'd have forgotten about it by now. It was more the indignation of the woman even after she'd been caught out, twice. If anyone shouts at me, it tends to upset me for a day or so tbh.

WRT to the lift thing, my DH uses the escalators if someone else with a buggy is waiting,so does my mum if I'm out with her. Why do two or three of you need to take the lift when you've got one buggy between you?

As an aside, I have only once spoken to someone about parking in a P&T space without children.

It was a young man and I said to him really nicely "you need to be careful parking there without children because you can get fined £50 for that".

He thanked me for telling him and moved the car. I'm sure it wouldn't have worked on the couple in the OP, but is a less confrontational way of saying something if you feel you need to.

Seen This

Eek, that's really scary. But I do believe that people not speaking up has contributed to the collapse of people being civil/polite. But then we're dealing with a different machine now. For example, if I'd done something to warrant a neighbour telling me off when I was a kid, my mum would've gone batshit because someone else had had to reprimand me. Now if a neighbour tells a kid to stop being an idiot in the street, the parents will usually retaliate by bollocking the neighbour.

IMO this all stems from bad parenting. The values that my mum instilled in me send me reeling at the thought of being discourteous to others. On the other hand, i have a mate whose mum used to drive with her dad's blue badge in the car when her dad was home so that she could park the car wherever, now guess what? My mate thinks she can park on double yellows/disabled or P&T spaces just because no-one will say anything. We constantly bicker over it and I'd love it if she's change that one thing about herself