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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my aunt being stupid or am I a bad mother?

69 replies

valleyqueen · 24/03/2010 19:13

My mum very kindly offered to take dd 11 to the states to visit family for 3 weeks. I jumped at the chance as I would struggle to afford the flights and would love her to meet my cousins out there, it will also mean she is safe with my mum while I am at work.

Today my aunt in front of dd told me that I was mad to agree and wouldn't I miss her (of course I bloody will,but I want her to have the opportunity to go). She then went on about enjoying them while they are young blah blah. I have booked the last 2 weeks of the holidays off so we can spend lots of time together to, but surely letting her go is the right thing to do if i am happy about it, I just know she is bad mouthing me to all and sundry.

OP posts:
PommePoire · 24/03/2010 19:15

Could your aunt be jealous? Does she have children and think that the invitation could have included them?

thesecondcoming · 24/03/2010 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claricebeansmum · 24/03/2010 19:17

aunt is being stupid.

Not only are you managing to give your DD a fantastic experience and a bit of independence from you but then you will spend quality time with her.

You sound like an awesome mum!

FabIsGettingThere · 24/03/2010 19:18

What has it got to do with your aunt?

Coldhands · 24/03/2010 19:18

Your DD will have a great time. What a wonderful holiday for her.

Ignore your aunt, sounds like sour grapes and tbh its sod all to with her anyway so tell her to butt out.

DilysPrice · 24/03/2010 19:18

That's 11 years old right? If she was 11 months your aunt would have a point.

curlyredhead · 24/03/2010 19:19

Because if you don't see them for two weeks when they are 11 years old, you have clearly missed their entire childhood.... YANBU. Your aunt is being daft.

Amandoh · 24/03/2010 19:20

Your daughter is going away with her Grandmother and it's only for three weeks, not years!

Even if she is "bad mouthing you to all and sundry" it's highly unlikely that anyone will agree with her views.

Could she be jealous that your Mum is going to visit family in the States? I can't think of any other reason for her to say the things she said.

curlyredhead · 24/03/2010 19:20

Sorry, three weeks. Maybe that makes all the difference.... Nope, your aunt is being daft. If your dd wants to go and will enjoy it then go for it.

valleyqueen · 24/03/2010 19:21

No her children are all grown up and she is my dads sister not my mums so would have no reason to be jealous. I have no idea why she is so opposed to this, she was actually trying to talk me out of it.

OP posts:
ShadeofViolet · 24/03/2010 19:21

Your Aunt is a loon - your DD will have a fab time. I wish my Nan had taken me away like that

StewieGriffinsMom · 24/03/2010 19:22

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Ivykaty44 · 24/03/2010 19:22

OMG your aunt is being just a tad of a drama queen and totally silly.

PommePoire · 24/03/2010 19:23

Just avoid discussing it with her, she clearly has some weird bee in her bonnet. You are definitely not being a bad mother for giving your daughter this opportunity.

Rindercella · 24/03/2010 19:23

YANBU.

It is a fantastic trip for your DD - she is 11 years old, which is plenty old enough to be with her grandmother and other relatives for a 3 week holiday. When I was 12 I went and stayed with my Godmother in Italy for 2 weeks. I had last seen her when I was 5 years old and didn't know anyone else there. I had a ball.

Your aunt should just butt out tbh.

thehillsarealive · 24/03/2010 19:24

what a fab mum you have! Your DD is at an age to appreciate and remember having fun like this and this memory (to be) will be with her forever.

Tell your aunt to mind her own business - your daughter can call you, email, txt etc, but this will be one of those 'life' experiences.

piscesmoon · 24/03/2010 19:25

Ignore her-I expect she is jealous.

valleyqueen · 24/03/2010 19:25

Thank you everyone. She has never been like this before I think that's why I am so shocked by her opinion.

OP posts:
Ivykaty44 · 24/03/2010 19:25

your aunt may have a few issues possibly with something or other

BitOfFun · 24/03/2010 19:26

I'm waving my 13 year old off to Oz on her own to see her dad on Friday

She went out with grandparents aged ten for three weeks. I don't want to deprive her of holidays just because I can't afford them.

ShinyAndNew · 24/03/2010 19:27

I went to spain with my gran for a fortnight when I was about 8. I loved every minute of it. I was spoilt rotten and felt very grown-up being away without my mum and dad.

No-one suggested that my mum was a bad mum for letting me go.

I agree the Aunt is a loon.

Karmann · 24/03/2010 19:28

What a wonderful, wonderful opportunity for your DD and what a great mum for letting her have this opportunity. Yes, you'll miss her but she will be back, telling you what a great time she had. Aunt is nasty.

Yes, enjoy them whilst they are young but they have to enjoy themselves too. You have a lifetime with her - this is just three weeks. Lucky girl. She'll thank you for it.

TrillianAstra · 24/03/2010 19:30

Sounds fantastic!

FabIsGettingThere · 24/03/2010 19:31

Maybe just ask your aunt what her worry is?

foreverastudent · 24/03/2010 19:33

stupid aunt, ignore the 'mother martyrs' out there