Is my aunt being stupid or am I a bad mother?

[valleyqueen]

My mum very kindly offered to take dd 11 to the states to visit family for 3 weeks. I jumped at the chance as I would struggle to afford the flights and would love her to meet my cousins out there, it will also mean she is safe with my mum while I am at work.

Today my aunt in front of dd told me that I was mad to agree and wouldn't I miss her (of course I bloody will,but I want her to have the opportunity to go). She then went on about enjoying them while they are young blah blah. I have booked the last 2 weeks of the holidays off so we can spend lots of time together to, but surely letting her go is the right thing to do if i am happy about it, I just know she is bad mouthing me to all and sundry.

yanbu it sounds fine
if your dd is happy to go with her grandma for the 3 weeks then whats it to do with ur aunt??
if your dd was worried n didnt want to go without her mum that would b different, but i presume that she is happy with the idea.. in which case it wil b a good opertunity for her and also nice for her 2 have the quality time with her granny

your aunt is mad ,dd will love it

So often I'm surprised by postings here that are similar to yours, valleyqueen. I don't have any difficulty in believing them, I just have difficulty in understanding that there are still people in this country (at least) who appear to be completely clueless about children. I have met plenty of them in the past in my decades, I just get so surprised that they still exist.

Hasn't your aunt ever watched TV? Does she actually know anything about children? Can she understand that voicing her unwarranted opinions in front of your DD makes her look ignorant?

You, your daughter, your mum, your relatives are likely to have a great time - so go for it.

dd is over the moon about it, she hasn't even mentioned missing me. My aunt said to her " you will miss mum won't you" to which she curled her upper lip and mumbled "nah mums got skype". Gotta learn to use the bloody thing first.

YANBU. I'd love to have done something like that at her age. What a wonderful idea.

Btw, your Aunt isn't kicking up because there's something she wanted to do with your DD in that 3 weeks is she? Or is she really not that kind of person. I'm just struggling to think of a reason for her to object, and all I can come up with is 'is it her birthday while your DD's away?' or something along those lines.

She did invite us to her caravan with her and her gc which is how the whole thing came up but I go there all the time, I am going in May half term for the while week with them. I just can't imagine that this would be the reason, she has been known to get snooty about stuff but has never questioned my parenting before.

Maybe this is the reason, I just don't know.

Bloody hell, can your mum take my kids?

I pitty any children your aunt has with her overly possessive, clingy, narrow outlook.
I was going to summer camp for 2 weeks each summer since I was 8 years old. And twice visited my aunt thousands of miles away for 3 weeks each visit. I loved it. Your daughter will have a great vacation with her grandmother, will probably be something she will remember her entire life.

Pity I meant.

Wish my mum would offer the same when mine are 11. hope she has a fab time!With skype and msn these days you'll probably hear from her more than at home

Oh please. My ds spends five weeks at summer with his dad in Canada with his GPs. Do I miss him? like hell. Would I stop him going? Never.

One.He is with his dad. Two. He is with his family. Three. He is swimming in lakes, horseback riding, camping, hanging out on his Aunties farm...none of which I can provide him in London's glamorous East End...what's not to love about it?

Lol at stupid aunt.

Of course she must go! Lucky girl.

erm, have i just dropped through a rabbit hole?

this is AIBU, isn't it?

NO-ONE has disagreed with you.

So, just to stop the univers (or mn) from imploding, I shall say

YABU (in opposite world)

Kickass I was thinking the same thing. I have never posted an Aibu and was fully prepared to be told I am by at least one.

YANBU

I've only one thing to ask.

Can I store away in her suitcase?

Maybe she's worried about your DD developing scurvy on the hazardous 6-week Atlantic crossing.

My money's on rickets.

Or being tried as a witch as soon as she reaches New England.
I agree with other posters that something's jangled her here, and so it might be worth digging beyond the "long way without mum".