to think that the 6yr old little boy upstairs shouldn't be clattering around their flat untill 11pm, every night?

[Narabug]

Hi all,

Firstly, please let me say that I totally appreciate that it must be hard both raising and actually being a young child in a small, upstairs flat and I have nothing against the family upstairs.

Its just that, every night, until about 11pm, their little boy (just 6, they had a birthday party last week) runs around the flat, leaping off furniture and shouting/shrieking. It sounds like nothing more than a child playing, you can hear him running from room to room, shouting, laughing, punctuated by an occasional thud.

I've been round one night to ask if they could maybe be a little quieter (again, not to tell the kid to shut up, that wouldn't seem very kind), but they don't speak much English, their response was a polite "no, thank you", I think they thought I was doing doorstep sales.

These flats are quite soundproof, you can't usually hear anything from upstairs, apart from when their son is playing. It wouldn't bother me usually apart from it disturbs my DD (10 months) when i'm trying to settle her for bed, and surely its not good for him to be up so late, every night?

Jx

Well I'm sure if you have a baby they must hear just as much from your flat.

That's the downside to living in flats I'm afraid!

yabu. That is shared buildings for you, and your child now and later will be NOISY!

You say that English isn't their first language. Could this sort of thing be normal in their culture? British people have a repuatation for putting DCs to bed early.

Its a cultural thing - often some of my friends will have an early evening sleep and then all co-sleep and go to bed at the same time.

Its annoying if he's noisy at all hours but its not a judgey parenting thing really.

And i agree - they must hear the baby as well - especially as we let babies cry longer than is usual in lots of other countries...

If they can they've never said anything, neither have any other neighbours.

Again, you can't hear voices, apart from the occasional shout, its mostly just bangs etc through the floor.

Agree with yellowcircle - the boy might sleep later in the morning or have a nap after school etc.

If their English isn't great you could write a polite note - may be clearer and they can look words up?

i would find it INCREDIBLY annoying so from my perspective, YADefNBU!

Not complaining as such, it is a little annoying but I wouldn't dream of taking out any complaint.

I'm just casting for opinions/insight really.

My first thought is that 11pm is a pretty late bed time for a 10 month old. Maybe you could try getting your child to bed earlier and they should sleep through whatever noise is coming from upstairs?

Hi Mollie,

DD goes to bed at 6:30pm, but the noise generally starts at about 3-4pm and continues from then - sorry I wasn't very clear was I!

Jx

My friend does this. She never has had a bedtime routine for hir little girl and as a result she finds it very difficult to get her to go to bed. Most night she is up until 11pm and falls asleep on the sofa. Often they sleep in in the morning and she misses school.

Several times she has had to got to the school to talk about her attendance at school. When she is there she is tired, has problems concentrating and behaves badly.

A kid of 6 years needs 11 hours sleep. 11 pm is way too late. It's wrong. In the end its the kids who suffer.

Horrible to see. I've tried speaking to my friend but she doesn't see there is a problem.

Not sure what you can do about your neighbours. But you are right. Not good.

I did wonder! I think the suggestion of writing a note might help or else trying to have a word during the day.

I'm not sure you can put a note through someone's door suggesting that their culture is wrong though unless you're prepared for one back that says 'well I think putting babies and toddlers to sleep on their own without you is barbaric'...etc

It's not suggesting their culture is wrong, it's politely asking them to try and not make huge amounts of noise late at night.

A note saying we hear you boy running around, could you keep the noise down after 10pm would be fine I think.

3 weeks ago you could have been talking about DS2 although he is only 2. I have never had a routine for bedtime for him BUT he has got himself into a routine.

Is the child at school?
If so he should be in bed earlier regardless of his cultural background.

I think a very polite note asking for some consideration after 9pm is not unreasonable.

I know noise is something you have to accept if you are in a flat, but you also accept the responsibility of trying to be good neighbours and not make excessive noise and keep late night avoidable noise to a minimum.

'Is the child at school?
If so he should be in bed earlier regardless of his cultural background.'

What an awfully judgemental post. You should train to be an HV in my neighbourhood with opinions like that.

Not jugdemental but it is a scientific fact that children at that age need at least 11 hours sleep.

If he is within the education system in this country his day will start around 9 oclock.

That adds up to a tired child who's education will suffer!

If that is jugdemental then I apologise, as that certainly wasn't what I meant to be!

He may have a nap earlier in the afternoon though.

You can judge me on my spelling all you like I am shocked by how bad it was in my post.

Must go to bed!

' it is a scientific fact that children at that age need at least 11 hours sleep.'

really,could you provide me with a link ?

Agree with Ronshar.

Hardly judgy for MN!