Am I being unreasonable?

[leya]

I am fed up with Dh butting in!! It doesnt matter where we are, or who we are talking too, I can never get a word in edge way's. If I stop to talk to an old school friend, or someone I have not seen for a while, he takes over the conversation.
In the supermarket, on the high street, even at dd parent's evening! In the end I left the meeting having not said ton's of thing's I needed to! I have told him about how I feel, but he just laugh's! He has even made an example of me in front of my friends. I tryed to speak once & even said to him in front of my friend 'hang on a min, can I speak'? To which he embaressed me by saying 'Oooo, dont get ratty, oh hold, on she need's to say her bit'. I fealt very hurt & upset. What do I do?

smack him in the mouth

The thought has been there, very often, but it's getting to the point now, where I just think why bother? I wouldnt dare do it with his friends!!

Grrr. What a twat. Can you get your friends to help you with a 'shut up and let leya speak' campaign? Maybe then he will realize he is mouthing off!

I think some of them know that it's getting me down, & so just grin.

Tell him what he does and how it makes you feel at a time when it is just the two of you and you're not having a row or anything.

Or just don't stop speaking when he tries to interrupt you, and glare at him like you're shocked he would even attempt it.

Tried talking to him on our own, but he just laugh's. I've also tried glaring at him, but he just makes an example of me. Usually dd is with us also, so dont want to show her up.

definitely NBU. Mine used to do this and we had loads of rows about it. What bearcrumble says, and when you're in a group just pretend he's not there. It takes a while but works.

We are always rowing about it, so it's not as if he doesnt know what he's doing. My ds say's, he just wants to be the centre of attention.

that's exactly it... I told mine the exact same words and he looked a bit sheepish, he certainly stopped interrupting as much anyway.

I'll give it ago, 'again'. Thanks.

Does he do it with everyone or just you?

If it is everyone, he sounds as though he has some social skills problems.

If he only does it with you, how does he treat you generally? Does he ask your opinion on things and show that he values you in other ways?

Maybe carry sellotape with you and stick it over his mouth!!

Get your friends/family to help out. When he interrupts they just wait for him to finish speaking, keep facing/turn back to you and continue "What were you saying Leya?" He is demanding attention and the only way is to ignore him. If you get angry then or afterwards he is getting what he wants.

It's not everyone, just with me. He is very controlling, in the way that, I am not allowed contact with my family, just his. I love him to bit's & he me & our dd, but as for friends, NO WAY!! He does ask for my opinion but never takes it, he always then ask's his parent's & always does what they say even if it's opposite to what I say.

"I am not allowed contact with my family, just his"

Um, think your troubles go a bit deeper than your OP then

alarm bells are ringing loudly in my head!

you are not allowed contact with your family?? WTF is that all about? or friends?

doesnt sound like a relationship to me leya, sounds like you do as you are told, when you are told.

YANBU

You're not allowed contact with your family???

It's a long story, but he had a row with my parent's over us getting married. But both my parent's and dh told me I was to choose. So I went with dh, I have had contact with my parent's since getting married 3 year ago, but again ended in a row. If I make friend's at playgroup, he always find's something wrong with them, & has a row & I end up not having them as friends. This is difficulf for me as I feel I am betraying him talking like this, but I dont know what else to do. When dd is at playgroup, I feel very alone, as dd goes to work

Seriously, you have a problem. If you don't rseent him now you definitely will in the future.

Anyone who stops you having contact with your family definitely is controlling.

On top of this from the sound of your OP he doesn't really respect your opinions or what you say. It would be good if one of your friend's could say to him - when he interrupts "sorry, I was just listening to leya. She was saying something really interesting".

Er, what? You are not allowed to talk to your family? What happens if you do then?

How many of the following sound familiar?

Does your partner:

act excessively jealous and possessive?
control where you go or what you do?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
constantly check up on you?

Do you:

feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can?t do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you?re the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does your partner:

humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you?re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for his own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Does your partner:

have a bad and unpredictable temper?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
force you to have sex?
destroy your belongings?

Does your partner:

act excessively jealous and possessive?
control where you go or what you do?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
constantly check up on you?

error Sorry on my last message, dd goes to playgroup, dh goes to work.

So you don't work and your only chance of adult contact in the day is effectively sabotaged?
Are you much younger than him?

He's cutting you off from friends as well? I'm sorry but he's sounding quite dodgy to me.

You are not betraying him by talking about unreasonable behaviour.

Why were your parents so against him out of interest?

It sounds like he wants you to have no one but him, therefore giving him more control over you.

By speaking over you and laughing at you when you 'check' him for it he is showing a lack of basic respect. This is not the actions of a man who loves and cares for you.

IMO you are in an abusive relationship

Not a good example to your dd.

Well you aren't alone, you have us lot. How about joining a gym or a club during the day when he's at work. Then you'll have separate friends and can chat face to face as you please.

And maybe go out without hinm a few times at the weekends until he asks why you don't want him around any more. Then explain it again.

Don't let it go on. My dad used to do that to my mum, and eventually banned her from speaking to her own daughter (my sister). I understand that you love him but it really needs sorting out now.

Sounds like Leya doesn't have supportive friends IRL to help her with this though

Leya, I think you really need to try to make and retain some friends independent of your DH. He doesn't have to know anything about people you meet at playgroup (and later at the school) beyond what you want to tell him, does he, if you know he's going to pick holes.

If you're alone while your DH is at work and DD is at playgroup, is there any scope for you getting out and doing something that gets you into contact with other people?

Meanwhile, 'talking' to people here - with no scope for interruption, may help you find your own voice.