Am I being unreasonable?

[leya]

I am fed up with Dh butting in!! It doesnt matter where we are, or who we are talking too, I can never get a word in edge way's. If I stop to talk to an old school friend, or someone I have not seen for a while, he takes over the conversation.
In the supermarket, on the high street, even at dd parent's evening! In the end I left the meeting having not said ton's of thing's I needed to! I have told him about how I feel, but he just laugh's! He has even made an example of me in front of my friends. I tryed to speak once & even said to him in front of my friend 'hang on a min, can I speak'? To which he embaressed me by saying 'Oooo, dont get ratty, oh hold, on she need's to say her bit'. I fealt very hurt & upset. What do I do?

can you go and see a solicitor...some give a free half hour,ask about housing rights then?

I think it would be terribly difficult for him to take away his assets without leaving an obvious paper trace.

Wow what a bully.

Even if you do nothing with it find out your rights, knowledge is power and to find out all his threats are pointless and empty will do wonders for you.

Seriously if he divorces you, the mother of his children, after all that emotional abuse you would get half of everything. Ask the citizens Advice or a solictor, (they do a free legalaid hours consultation usually) I bet you have a strong case. Also he is probably just threatening you with the worst he can think of to get you to stay.

Benefits are actually really good. You get housing benefit, counsel tax benefit, child tax credits and child benefit. On top of that you would get income support. I get by fine. Move close to your parents so they can help you. Seriously. I'd get outta there.

No offence but his salary isn't that high. Unless he gives you unlimited freedom on spending,you might find that on benefits you have more £ to yourself.

Not saying it's a life of Riley but I was surprised at how much more I actually had in my pocket after leaving a man who made me live on £100 a month.

Also I just want to give you some sympathy. That's an awful situation for you to live in, it must be very lonely.

I agree with arses, I was going to post that you would be better off on benefits and certainly would have more freedom.

Personally, in your situation I would choose my parents. Get in touch with them even if it does cost you your marriage. I am sure once they find out what is going on they will be more than happy to help you out. I hope you manage to find a solution.

Get out, get out now any way you can.

The money he is on is not that much, you will be better off without him and on benefits.

He sounds like a controlling, manipulative bully. You need that shit like a hole in the head.

Make a new start with your new baby.

Leya, I'm really sorry that you are in this position.

If I were you I would contact CAB for a session and I would also go and bag a free hour with a solicitor to confirm your rights. The stuff about the house is clearly complete nonsense. You would get at least half, possibly more.

There is an issue that your DH only earns an average wage and it would be difficult to support two households on that, but you could see what you were entitled to and do some sums.

You're an interesting and valuable person in your own right. It doesn't make sense for you to lose your voice and stay together for money, really. You do know that, don't you?

I know this will probably get me flamed, but since you say the "worst thing" is that you are pregnant, please remember that you don't have to keep this pregnancy if you feel it will make your life even harder, and make it impossible for you to leave your bully of a husband. Not recommending one way or another, but you do have a choice.

Not sure if any of you that have been following this post will read this message, but anyway, I DID it! I've moved! We had a massive row & it was the final straw! Dad's paid for a great solicitor. I may only have a bedroom in my parents house, but it's now our home! Thank you everyone for all your help & support. I am now free!!!

Well donr Leya. It must have been a very hard thing to do.

I wish you lots of luck.

Congratulations! Your great solicitor will make sure that you get what you are entitled to, and your abusive ex will discover that he doesn't have the right to take just sign his house over into his mum's name.
All the best for the future.

I have just read the whole thread and am so pleased you have taken the first step Leya. Please stay strong and don't be tempted to return, it will be more difficult to leave a second time. Get all the support you can. I hope it all works out for you.

Congratulations Leya! I bet your parents are thrilled to see you again

Stay strong, and remember this wonderful feeling of release you feel at the moment when it gets hard.

Been following this thread Leya and well done!!!

Just tell him that he comes across as being an uneducated bully.

My sister put up with someone like him for years.

She is a registered nurse and he had her utterly convinced that she was totally useless.

He finally left her for some other poor woman.

Best thing that ever happened to her.

She remarried about 5 years. Got her driver's licence (he would never let her)
and is having a mervellous life.

Get rid of him while you are still young and don't let him undermine you anymore.

five years ago.