to hate the term 'babywearing'?

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

You aren't 'wearing' the baby, you are carrying it. It's a sensible and practical way to get from a-b, or to keep the baby quiet/out of trouble while you are relaxing doing housework.

It is not a way of life, or even really a parenting choice, at least it shouldn't be, and if it is, you are overthinking things.

The reason that women in developing countries 'wear' their babies more is that they are far busier than we tend to be, housework takes longer when you don't have mod cons and safety measures like stairgates are not available also they don't get cebeebies

I think there are too many parents who take a method of doing something and turn it into a 'position', when it really isn't.

I'm just waiting for thew 'whopping them out' and the best: 'all over the place'.

Please bear in mind in these discussions that one man's 'discrete', is another man's 'whopping them out all over the place'

I don't have discretion totally at the foremost when I feed my 16 month old, but I am aware of the looking and don't go out of my way to draw attention to myself. That said, a sensitive new mother (tautology, sorry) who was struggling may look and think that I was. But I can't control all that so stick to what I can control, feeding the kid.

And i have a good friend who couldn't b/feed and I hope I've been a friend to her and that the mere actions of me 'whopping out a big veiny boob, all over the place' on occasion hasn't made her feel I've 'rammed it down her throat'.

I've been around a fair bit but I have never ever met one of these mythical 'rammers' in real life. Where are they all? Hanging round maternity wards ready to pounce?

discreet, jesus wept, and me a journalist....

Never heard of it.

I think that it is good that people challenge these terms before they get 'set' in the language.

I have a friend who's FB profile reads

I'm a breast feeding, baby carrying, non puree using, bed sharing mother who is constantly washing nappies.

I'm wondering if that is any better just because it doesn't read Baby wearing, Baby Led weaning, co-sleeping, Cloth bummed.

They are just frikkin words, get over it.

If a person is smug they will be smug whether they use these terms or not. If you don't like them then don't be friends with them. Simple.

The reason I say baby wearing is that "carrying" sounds like a chore, something that gets in the way and is difficult. Well, it is with my ten ton son. But sticking him in a sling on my back is handy, and easy, and something I like and he likes - not just a chore that needs to be done. So I don't especially feel smug.

I suppose it's not beyond the realms of possibilty that I am a smug parent without realising, but why then am I racked with doubt at every turn? Oh, it's a minefield.

lifeas3plus1 - I'd find that just as irritating. Why does she feel the need to define herself so much in terms of how she feeds and transports her baby? I co-slept and breast fed for ages because I was lazy found it easier that way. Others do it as a point of principle, which is clearly their choice but to seemingly brag about it is smug.

Although as you say - it's just words and although it would irritate me on first reading, ultimately my reaction would be "well that's nice, dear".

That does sound rather sanctimonious. Why would anyone be interested in how she carries and feeds her baby? Like it's a lifestyle choice that she chooses to define herself by. Weird.

My reaction would be like OtterInaSkoda's 'well that's nice dear'.
(I can't see why anyone would be in the least interested in her sleeping, feeding arrangements).

The problem is that she will irritate everyone. Those who haven't got babies, or those that have older children, won't be remotely interested and those with babies will probably avoid her because she is obviously making it a career and they won't be able to beat her in a 'one upmanship' competition-if they admit to occasionally using a disposable nappy or leaving the baby with their mother for a couple of hours in the evening-they will be 'inferior' mothers.
I can't think why you would define yourself through your parenting choices. People would think I was mad if I introduced myself as 'piscesmoon-the mother who won't have TVs in the bedrooms'!

I'd feel a bit sorry for her tbh. She sounds miserable.

The one thing you need with a baby is a sense of humour and not to take yourself so seriously! People only tend to do it with babies-they then relax.