to hate the term 'babywearing'?

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

You aren't 'wearing' the baby, you are carrying it. It's a sensible and practical way to get from a-b, or to keep the baby quiet/out of trouble while you are relaxing doing housework.

It is not a way of life, or even really a parenting choice, at least it shouldn't be, and if it is, you are overthinking things.

The reason that women in developing countries 'wear' their babies more is that they are far busier than we tend to be, housework takes longer when you don't have mod cons and safety measures like stairgates are not available also they don't get cebeebies

I think there are too many parents who take a method of doing something and turn it into a 'position', when it really isn't.

Is it the nomenclature of the attachment style that winds you up, or the fact that people do it, and get enthusiastic about it?

I find it ironic that the OP said some people have left a certain group because it didn't espouse their philosophy, only to come onto a website to gather support for their view that these people are a bit de trop! Perhaps this feeling that they are being laughed at behind their backs is driving them away.

I can see how a smug blog could go on and on about babywearing solving the world's problems can come across as icky, but at the same time, the phrase (and it's more than transportation) is merely a short hand for describing an eschewing of a pram. Like babyledweaning is a shorthand to describe to people how you're weaning (and come on, how many times have you had to explain it to frowning friends and relatives...)

I don't own a pram and don't intend to (although I've nearly buckled!) but I'm near a train station with 30 steps, and my 17 month old is wafer thin, so it suits us. I've got woven wraps, soft structured carriers -- the works, but even I'm scared to go to a sling meet. I'm just not hippy enough! I wash frequently and believe in sportscars and posh handbags

No one likes sanctimonious people, no one likes people who think their way is the only way.

But I don't find the term itself, or the action tiresome, although I'm sure I'd find some practitioners rather odious. Some people on the babywearer.com are a little wanky.

Sears, I've only read something briefly at the library and yes, a bit smarmy but I wouldn't say he was evil. Much in the way that I wouldn't think She Who Must Not Be Mentioned is, it's just flogging books innit?

"nobody needs to read a book about 'how to break off a bit of breadstick or banana' do they"

I TOTALLY disagree. If you are a first time mum, and your friends and relatives have all spoon fed and you've heard about a different way, the I think reading a book that will guide you, reassure you and from a point of authority, explaining about appetite control and what's safe in terms of gagging and choking is all good.

Almost everyone I know who has done BLW (I only know from the net really) has worried about how to start, what to offer and what to expect in terms of gagging, amounts eaten at xxx months. Can't see a book that helps as being ridiculous.

I mean, come on, Annabel Karmel has a recipe for mashing an avocado, for christ's sake!

I realise anything child-led gets people's hackles up, but I think that's down to annoying people going on about it being the 'moat amazing thing ever' than the activity itself.

YANBU- I really don't like the term "babywearing"- conjures up images of smug floaty earthmums for me.

But I loved the term Baby led weaning- I used it instead of "too lazy to be arsed making all those purees again"!

I've actually never hear anyone say they babywear. Do people say this?

I say "I'm lugging my daughter in the ergo", or something similar.

Yeah, I can see how someone saying 'I babywear' is being a bit, you know.

It's funny, because I don't dress like an earth mum, or hang around any earth mums, I've never really had any comments, or heard this sort of thing.

I have had people raise their eyebrows that I still carry a toddler and once got a real snide laugh from someone when I asked what cbeebies was.... (I admit I'd moved from abroad, although she still isn't allowed any!)

YABU to sneer.

dorisbonkers - I usually used to see the term "babywearing" in terribly smug tickers, announcing that "my little angel has been babyworn and breast fed for x months and y days". But then I stopped reading forums where they use tickers. Better for my sanity.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable, but I do see how the term could seem rather smug and self-satisfied. These labels make other people feel better about their parenting styles and make them feel like they are part of a larger group. Parenting is a vulnerable time and it's good to get some support from other like minded people. I personally never 'wore' my dd, because I didn't know about all of the types of slings until she was too big to be carried in them. I did do BLW and loved it. Thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated H's forum and felt that the movement/book gave me 'permission' to just give my dd finger foods and not fill her up on AK's purees. It worked perfectly for us. Other friends have done really well on purees and I can see how that suits them - horses for courses.

Hmm. I use slings, lots of them, technically I would be a babywearer if I chose to use the term. I don't use the word much, I'm not a huge fan of it mainly because I know that it causes negative reactions as seen here. I don't like the reasoning that using the term turns your baby into a fashion accessory, however, it does nothing of the sort. Sling-wearing, baby-wearing, baby-carrying, toddler-wearing, sling-using, pram-eschewing, whatever term you want to use a shorthand for 'I use a sling to transport my baby instead of a wheeled device of whatever description' - it's all the same to me... Babywearing is just another descriptive term... coined by Dr Sears, I believe, from a casual comment made by his wife. As I said, I don't like it much myself, but it has its place if it works for you.

YABalittlebitU to judge, but I do understand random harmless terms being annoying, I have several pet hates myself

What I do disagree with is the 'downside' that toddlers get too heavy - I have not yet ever met a toddler who is too heavy for a sling. Not a single one.

ARRGH, TICKERS, NO! They are insufferable.

I carried my 2.5 year old around in a sling just this very evening...it was lovely...we giggled a lot! I don't think we've done that in well over a year...and it didn't last long...

THe term babywearing doesn't really bug me, though I don't think I've ever actually said it. I got into slings because my dd is only 15 months younger than ds, so I figured using a sling would make it easier for me to tend to him.It wasn't so much about a parenting philosophy. Turned out to be a blessing...dd had some horrific reflux issues, so a stretchy wrap was the most important item I've ever owned! I did get a little nutty with the slings...they're so pretty, and so fun to try!!!

And, just for the record...I carried her DAILY, for hours, until she was about 4 months old. She is independent, mobile, talkative...and can play for ages on her own...holding babies close does not necessarily make them dependent and clingy!

YANBU I hate it too-it sounds like a designer baby and a handbag! It is one of many daft terms to do with babies-I don't know where they all come from.

How exactly does 'babywearing' sound like a designer baby?

Jooly I agree- I like these terms as I like to pretend that I'm doing things properly out of choice not just cos I'm a lazy cow.

I don't baby wear
I lug him

But lugging sounds like a horrible, heavy chore, not the light-footed, fun, oxytocin-inducing freedom that sling0using should bring to mind.

I still don't like babywearing but it's better than lugging!

Aye. I always mention it as no. 1 on those "phrases people use that make you want to puke" threads.

"light-footed, fun, oxytocin-inducing freedom" makes me want to puke

It sounds like a designer baby because he/she becomes an accessory. You can't 'wear a baby', you wear clothes,shoes, jewellery and, even at a stretch, perfume. I carry my cat around quite a lot but I don't wear him!!

yanbu, npthing against it, i've got a sling it's great but i don't trat it as some sort of babycare "philosophy". It's for getting them to sleep quickly when they're little and helping them with colic! Oh and to get them from a to b obviously.

baby led weaning and co-sleeping in same category of pious, self righteous phraseology. Finger foods and sharing a bed is what it is.

Conjures up images of Earth Mother smuggery too and I think most epople adopt a "mix and match" style of parenting rather than doggedly adhering to one particular "guru" type approach.

My yoga teacher is an exception, she (tried) to have a homebirth, and despite risk issues was very obstructive about eventually going to hospital. She's a proponent of long term bf, she's doing blw, she co-sleeps she wants to home educate. All fair enough you may think but she seems to have made these choices just because she's a "alternative" type of person and that's what "alternative" types do. She's unable to come up with a decent rationale as to why she wants to home educate for example. She's also vegan and is bringing the child up vegan, won't let a drop of milk pass his lips etc. like it's some sort of poison. Again fair enough but she's v disparaging of more mainstream choices and comes across as quite controlling and dogmatic. And the child is CONSTANTLY ill.

I find this sort of alternative lifestyle fanaticism as oppressive as the mainstream one they're railing against tbh.

I think that you have to be open minded and go with the sort of DC that you have. There is no saying that they will agree! The DC may wean themselves and they may want their own space-they may not.
It is fair enough when they are a baby, but you have to bear in mind that the child is merely a child of a vegan, they are not a vegan-they will decide that later for themselves.

Fair enough Bronze Was trying to conjure the opposite to lugging!

Unless the baby has been skinned and fashioned into an item of clothing a la Jonathan Swift I don't think YABU .

I call BLW "real food"