stopping my kids going to a Catholic Church

[jennyslinger]

I know religion is contentious so I'd like to say up front that I am a confirmed atheist and my DH is a confirmed catholic. This is not about the rights or wrongs of believing in god.

DH wants DS and DD (when she's 4yo) to go to our local Cathocis church to attend sunday school and get involved with other church activities.

I have read so much over the last few years about the child abuse cover-up in the Catholic Church. For this reason I have told DH and his family that the kids will not be going.

DH says I am fussing over nothing.

I asked DH he knew a nursery had covered up child abuse would he be happy with the kids going. He says this is not the same.

Am I being unreasonable?

Don't go yet, daftpunk - you haven't done the "I'm a persecuted minority" bit yet. You've done the wild unsubstantiated allegations and the factually inaccurate dogmatic statement - but you have to do the victim bit before you leave.

Oh jesus...

I like loads of bands...if I lived like all of them I'd be a drugged out bi-sexual ....you can like someones music without imitating their lives...

I think daftpunk is probably a closet homosexual - most homophobics are.

Come out, its ok we love you whatever your sexuality.

I have told DH and his family that the kids will not be going."

This is the statement I like - they are his kids too - so he tells you his children will be going.What then?
They are your joint children and you should be deciding together how they are brought up.

I'm amazed too by the people who think a promise is meaningless if they don't agree with it - well,that must make life a lot easier...

daftpunk, are you homophobic?

The way the Catholic church have handled that has been totally wrong the priests should have been fired and put on the sex offenders register like everybody else, that i certainly do not agree with, and its one that really tarres my view of the CAtholic church and the uppper echelons that seem to support the abuse by covering it up and redistributing the priests. Its silly really when the Catholic church should be doing all they can to encourage people into the faith and promoting themselves, this just does nothing for them really and puts people off as is seen in some posts on here.

piglet - you would have thought something would have been done after the first story leaked, but apparentely not...

"daftpunk, are you homophobic? "

Is the Pope a Catholic?

You see daftpunk that is where you are mistaken - they actively campaign against the bigotry of homophobia. They actively camapign against people like you and your opinions. They are saying you are stupid and should not think as you do.

That is wholly different to wanting you to take drugs or be a bi-sexual.

Or rather is Daftpunk a Catholic

"I don't expect all Catholics to have identical views, I just expect them to follow the rules of their own church, and in my experience very few do."

It is a myth that the Catholics have no freedom to hold views contrary to Catholic teaching. The Catholic church has explicitely declared in Vatican 2 that no one can be constrained to share a conviction that is not his/her own.

As Thomas Acquinas said 'Conscience binds, but it is not always right'

So there are no rules then? And its ok just to believe what you will? That's even more bonkers than I thought!

And its also certainly not what my devout Catholic mother in law thinks! I'll have to tell her it was ok for me to live in sin with her son, because neither of us was constrained to hold a conviction not our own according to Vatican 2! Hooray!

Somehow, I don't think she'll buy it.

I like the hats that Catholics wear. It shows taste and refinement. My DMIL has a fine hat collection. DD likes hats. I think that is a good enough reason.

Yes certainly Batty, my dh is Catholic and my dd is a Catholic but I am not as i do not agree with Catholic doctorine and the sex absue has weighed on my mind.

Most Catholics in the church we go to, go in jeans and t shirts and worn out trainers no hats there.

Do how do they show reverence to the lord god and his almighty presence if they don't wear hats? I think standards are dropping below a level which I am happy with.

First they stop covering up all the kiddy fiddling and now no hats. I think the Catholic Church has gone down hill in recent years.

Daftpunk also said they had strong views on homosexuals so being a catholic is the right environment for them.

I have no time for homophobic views - then again if you suspend judgment on big things like omnipotent overlords then homophobia must be really simple.

Jenny - I'm in the same position as you - haven't read the other posts as there are lots but this is MY view from MY EXPERIENCE.

OK - dh roman catholic (Italian) - me very very mixed with multi ethnic/religion - I was bought up with Protestant and Hindu parents in the '70 and '80s with ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUES and for THAT REASON I said no kid of mine is going to be baptised until THAT KID understands and wants to and at that point I'll be a very happy mummy even though I don't beleive.

DH agreed.

Cue a few years and we have a ds - and it's a bloody nightmare - dh and his family act like huge victims as he's not baptised.

I've taken SO much shit over this you won't beleive but what get's me is that noone wants to take him to church or teach him about the love the religion etc. - it's all about the baptism and the huge party which is bigger than a wedding. I don't want that - I'd rather he be baptised at local london church (hey - ds is actually UK born) and have small family meal rather than no spirituality and a big huge vulgar party in dh country where noone gives a shit about the significance of the event - only the food served at the restaurant).

Moreover - I felt that I could take him to protestant church (not my religion but at least welcoming) but could be baptised a Catholic and the go to a religious secondary school - but now I'm told he won't stand a chance unless baptised within 6 months of birth.

So - my view - here I am - not at all my religion - try to get him to a catholic playgroup - a no go as his not baptised. He's now 4 - no one will take any interest until he's baptised. This goes against my views of 'try before you buy'.

I'm fairly certain he'll now never be a catholic. Well, I tried - the system failed and it's no skin off my nose.

Yes but you wouldn't want to offend any Catholics by challenging their homophobic views would you? Laws are fine so long as no Catholics shake with anger or get offended.

Oh, please don't start her off, leningrad, i'll end up reading her reply, and there is nothing like a DP post to make me depressed about the level of ignorance, bigotry and small-mindedness out there in the big wide world outside my cosy little Independent bubble...