to find it incredibly irritating when in certain circles school fees are talked about as if they are a necessity, not a choice?

[emkana]

Like Emma Thomson currently on the Women programme on BBC 4, or very often in the "Style" section of the Sunday Times.

marais- I'm just conscious that people who've been there shouldn't give the impression to anyone who might be contemplating going that it is full of public schools boars and that they won't find any peers there. Yes there is the Pitt Club, and weird dining societies, but I never honestly got the impression that they were viewed as desirable clubs to be in. A bit like the Conservative Club- you knew that these people would prob end up in positions of power in 20 years' time, but they were mostly sad psychologically fragile individuals who needed each other and their feudal ancestral beliefs for support.

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dont I get a thanks too?!!

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oh, that is nice!

Bloss I l-o-v-e-d your post from yesterday about the definition of necessity - it really clarified what we are all talking about.

I think we all realise it is not a NECESSITY, but it is NECESSARY if we want our children to spend their day in a well funded, stimulating, calm, etc etc place of education.

I also think part of the reason private school parents think it is a neccessity, is that once they have experienced it, they know their children are probably a year ahead of their counterparts and are used to a style of teaching. Then the effect of putting their kids in state school is worse than if they hadn't gone there in the first place.

As a private school teacher I know parents that are hit by the recession and are now skint and their kids are really, really bored in the state school, having already learnt french from the age of 3 and being so far ahead. Boys and boredom make a bad mix. Plus they have no friends. How horrible must that be?

I guess some of you will now say " oh poor them - not!"

But that's nasty and ignoring their very real and valid concern.

It's simple really. We put our child in a private school because we didn't like her mixing with the pikeys from the council estates. Lovely small classes, great facilities but pretty much to avoid the pikeys.

Do does me saying make you feel better? No if course not !! People pick private school because they can. Get over it, there will always be people better off than you and therefore in a position to have choices that not everybody has. That's life and yes its sucks sometimes but has been like that centuries and will continue to be so.

Squib I think the difference is that a very good education puts you ahead of those that haven't had one, and so increases the money gap between have and have nots.

But people with money will buy their priviledges in many other ways even if there were no private schools. I know plenty of teachers that tutor STATE school kids. Should this also be banned? also the tutoring for 11+ that goes on makes any semblance of meritocracy a joke (sadly).

I'm shocked that someone on here has said that a tramp chooses to live this way, have you no understanding of the problems that people face? The vast majority of homeless people have faced some sort of crisis that I wouldn't want to even consider happening in my life, abuse, family break up, more abuse. It's shameful to suggest that people are homeless through choice, 99% of the time something really, really terrible has happened to them and they are unable to repair the damage that has been done to them. This isn't a choice.

Yes I have understanding of the problems that people face. Have you ever spoken to a tramp? I have, I used to speak to one every morning as I waited at the bus stop. He was homeless through choice, he didn't want the accommodation that was offered him. I agree that 99% are not homeless through choice, but I am saying that some are due to psychological reasons. Step down off your high horse and read this.

"After many years spent wandering the streets pushing a pram, Fred took to his tent on Ring Road St John?s and received visits and meals on wheels because he refused to move to indoor accommodation."

There are many similar examples.

www.expressandstar.com/2008/04/22/truth-about-ring-road-tramp-fred/

query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?_r=1&res=9C01E2DA173DE533A2575BC0A9619C94639FD7CF

It is NECESSARY that I go to bed and get some sleep now.

I could of course stay up and carry on being intrigued by the great thread this is.

But I think it is better for my overall health if I get some shuteye instead.

I spent a stint working in a homeless day hostel, without a doubt some people choose this way, there's alot more who were abused or beaten as a child though, alot with mental health problems, alot with addictions etc. You can't assume that all homeless people prefer this life because you have read a couple of newspaper articles, it's not exaclty representative of the thousands of people who have no where to sleep. Life isn't kind to some people, 75% of the people I met were abused when they were younger, either sexually or physically. One man found his father hanging, one man sold himself to buy food. You can't honestly say that people want lives like this.

"You can't assume that all homeless people prefer this life because you have read a couple of newspaper articles"

I said I didn't assume that all homeless people are homeless through choice, give me a bit of credit. I base it on speaking to a tramp who told me. Maybe in your stint you didn't meet any homeless people who told you that, but don't assume that that means that all homeless people are the same.

I fished the newspaper articles out for your benefit, as you didn't seem to be aware of it.

No, I am aware, as I said, the majority of people didn't choose this life style, the rest of them did.

ok then we are in agreement

In agreement that only a very small percentage of peole choose to be homeless yes.

yes that's right

OK. Have a chocolate, cherry lindt, it's scrummy.

thanks, they are my favourites

Why is it that people who send their kids to private school have to spend their whole bloddy time justifying it to those who don't.

The state options near us are not great so I wwork bloody hard to send ds to prep, its my cchoice i know, but now I have committed to the fees and he is happy and settles it would break ny heart to take hime out. For me, having money to pay fees is a necessity. EEveryone makes their choices, some are rich some make sacrifices others work hard. Think the OP should not be annoyed about people worrying about fees, its only natural and is a bif commitment for most peopl. Which some would stop slating those who choose private..

have the courtesy to actually read the thread before wading in with your size tens.

oh, its tempting, isn't it? {wink]

Belle....., your point about homeless person not choosing to live on the streets is invalid simply because the discussion here is about necessity not choice. Person, most likely, would not choose to live on the streets but he/she will live, he/she will have air to breathe, water to drink and food to eat. Despite the degrees of poverty, people do not die of starvation in the developed world unlike they do in the third world.
Until there's universally agreed upon definition for necessity, all the arguments above are subjective.
Posters have chosen to define their own perceived necessities while stomping vigorously on everyone who does not agree with their little lists....
Private education, mortgage, car etc.etc.etc. ad nauseam, are not necessities but lifestyle choices.