Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be gutted that DD has to wear glasses

71 replies

mooki · 15/03/2010 20:59

She's 2.5. We hadn't noticed any problems but I asked to have her eyes tested as my eye sight was bad from birth.

I wore glasses from a very young age and whilst I don't remember being bullied about my specs particularly, I think it did contribute to poor self-esteem about my appearance that persists to this day.

I'm obviously very pleased that she will have better vision with her glasses and, through early treatment will potentially avoid a squint that might have developed without them. But she's an absolutely beautiful girl with gorgeous eyes and I am privately and silently (and ridiculously) sad at the thought of her with her little frames.

I suppose when she's much older maybe contact lenses would work; they don't for me because of what's wrong with my eyes and laser treatment doesn't work so well for long sight as short I've read. And I also hate the fact that I have to put my glasses on in the morning - you know, that I just can't function without them.

I haven't let any of this into my head around DD. I'm trying to make it sound really great that she gets to choose special glases and through some positive Charlie and Lola and Peppa Pig reinforcement, she was very happy to pick out some pink frames at the opticians today and wanted to take 'lots of pairs' home. At least there is a better choice than the 2 styles of nhs specs available when I was little.

The unreasonable version of this that I couldn't say out loud is the idea that although I am not attractive, through fluke I have managed to produce a beautiful daughter but now people won't think she's pretty because she wears glasses.

OP posts:
JGBMum · 15/03/2010 21:05

My daughter wears glases and she's still beautiful

PixieOnaLeaf · 15/03/2010 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

starshaker · 15/03/2010 21:10

My dd has worn glasses from about 3. She loves them and everybody tells her how great they look. You get some really nice ones now.

cluckyduck · 15/03/2010 21:10

She's still beautiful with glasses! I wore glasses from the age of 7 and have never felt ugly due to them.

Keep up the positive reinforcements and she'll be fine

AND if anyone was ever to think less of a child due to glasses (stares hard at pradagirl) then they are really not worth bothering with.

SuSylvester · 15/03/2010 21:11

if i had a pound for every thread...
ds3 wears them too
i hated the idea
hated not being able to get to his face etc

BUT

  1. she can wear contacts prob at about9
  2. there are really cool glasses now - go to a real designer opticians - why not?
  3. i teach loads of BEAUTIFUL girls in glasses
  4. kids dont care about them any more
Lemonmeringue · 15/03/2010 21:11

Both of my girls wear glasses and are beautiful. The choice of frames is fantastic these days, and many girls at primary school yearn to wear glasses (a friend's daughter recently told porkies at the optician's in the hope of getting a pair).

Teasing and bullying have honestly never been an issue.

MadameDefarge · 15/03/2010 21:13

um, I have worn glasses all my life, and hand on heart, I have always been considered reasonably pretty/attractive and I have also had appalling facial eczema on and off....my point would be that most people just don't notice what we regard as major flaws...(or perhaps its just my winning personality?)

SuSylvester · 15/03/2010 21:13

( these are teens i am talking about - its quite the thing)

ds3 has really cool glasses - we pay Bout £50 on top of the nhs frames

EVye · 15/03/2010 21:14

I (secretly) felt like this when DD had her glasses. After a couple of days I couldnt imagine her without them. They were pink too and she loved wearing them. Lots of her friends were jealous and wanted them too.

Some people will always be negative about specs but with the ranges they have today I think that much of the stigma we experienced has now gone.

I am sure your DD is still beautiful and if she REALLY hates them when she's older then she can have contacts.

mrsjuan · 15/03/2010 21:15

YANBU to feel like that. I would feel exactly the same and I can't imagine there's anyone that would actually be overjoyed at the prospect of their child having to wear glasses.

Of course people will still think she's pretty - she will look really cute in little pink glasses and as she gets older she can have very stylish ones

It will be great for her that you wear glasses too because obviously to her you are the most beautiful person in the world and she will have something special in common with you.

MmeLindt · 15/03/2010 21:22

YANBU to feel sad.

One of DD's friends has glasses, she is 8yo and when she was here for a sleepover last week I hardly recognised her without her glasses. I thought that she looked prettier with glasses than without (perhaps because I am so used to her wearing them).

She had quite cute glasses and recently chose a pair of trendy frames. Très chic.

SixtyFootDoll · 15/03/2010 21:27

I felt the same when DS 2 hadd to have his glasses
Had a wake up call when I had a little cry in the heads office ( iknow )
Who then started to tell me about the new girl who has a prosthetic leg - how stupid did I feel?

Glasses are so cool, the only hassle DS has with his is stopping his mates from wanting to have a go at wearing his Star Wars glasses!

jybay · 15/03/2010 21:28

Don't be sad. My quite severe short-sightedness wasn't picked up till I was 7 (my mum just thought I was unusually clumsy! ). I remember well the blessed relief of being to see properly when I got my first pair of specs.

It makes me shudder to think of all the kids in the developing world who must be struggling through life hardly able to see.

shona2 · 15/03/2010 21:28

YANBU-I felt the same way but now I couldn't imagine my little boy without his glasses. He actually likes wearing them and my other two children often comment that they want glasses too. Like another poster said, I really don't think that glasses carry the same stigma. There are many choices for when they are older and kids with glasses are beyond cute, in my opinion.

nowwearefour · 15/03/2010 21:36

my dd1 has been wearing hers since sept last year. i was sad when i found out too for the self esteem issues you mention. but she is soooo much more confident now she can actually see and they REALLY suit her- she is soooo beautiful both with and without them on and i am v proud of her. she loves them and was so eager to show them to her pre-school teachers who never knew her with them on when she went back for a party recently that i think we have arrived. we are fortunate that their sight can be improvd but you are def NBU to be sad when initially faced with it.

worrymonster · 15/03/2010 21:37

I can appreciate your disappointment, but try to get it into perspective. There will be parents reading this who would give their right arm to have had that piece of news rather than problems their own DCs have to deal with. But I'm not criticising, as I am guilty of mithering over far more trivial things!
Your little girl will be no less gorgeous for wearing glasses.

seeker · 15/03/2010 21:45

ohh, this makes me cross!!!! What do you mean, people won't think she's pretty because she wears glasses - do you live in a 50's sitcoM??????

My dd has drawn the "sort straw" ( in the opinion of narrow minded people who don't think) because she wears glasses, has freckles, red hair and a posh accent. But she is still absolutely beautiful. And, actually she is confident and happy dispite her 'disadvantages'. So find something serious to be "gutted" about.

Macforme · 15/03/2010 21:48

My son got glasses at 6 months of age (yes really!)
he had already been diagnosed with disabilities, but the thing that broke my heart was the glasses.

Now I look back and it seems so daft..on the scale of things it was so minor, and as he is VERY longsighted it's just as well he had them so early!!

But you know, he's nearly 13 now, in special school, gorgeously handsome, confident in his own way... but I still feel a tiny bit of sadness that he will always need his glasses, even tho he looks great in them. It's because I always had them and WAS teased back in the days of NHS gruesome specs!

These days tho, the glasses are sooooo nice.. my 15 yr old is desperate to have some and always hopes that she'll need some at check ups!!! They are defo trendy now

hotpotmama · 15/03/2010 21:54

My DS1 wears glasses and it was a omplete shock to us as neither me nor DH wear glasses, and I was upset about it. Then DS3 became very poorly and spent 2 weeks in hospital with no-one able to tell us if he would get better (He did get better)

Completely put it all into proportion for me and made me realise I was being ridiculous getting upset about glasses.

Now 2 years later his lazy eye is getting better and he may not have to wear them soon. He looks very cool in his glasses and it will take some getting used to seeing him without them now!

So don't worry soon you will think how great she looks with glasses and how mad you were to worry about it so much

hotpotmama · 15/03/2010 21:55

complete, even

Original poster
mooki · 15/03/2010 21:58

Thank you for being so lovely. I'm not sure I deserve it. Thank you to all the people with positive glasses wearing stories. I know she will still be beautiful, in truth, I think this is almost more still about my self esteem than hers - I'm projecting somewhat.

Mrsjuan - that made me a little bit teary, that I'm beautiful to her. Actually this week when I was sitting in the bath asked if she was in my middle tummy as a baby, who was in the tummy at the top and the one underneath, but we'll gloss over that.

Worrymonster - yes, I agree on the scale of things it's a mere footnote.

OP posts:
Original poster
mooki · 15/03/2010 22:06

Seeker - I know what you mean about 50s sitcom, but maybe my attitude to it is formed by my early experience which was wearing the type of NHS specs that Roland in Grange Hill had complete with bits of sticky tape on the arms. And that one year I'm sure they actually made Kerry Katona celebrity spectacle wearer of the year.

OP posts:
stripeyknickersspottysocks · 15/03/2010 22:08

Been there, got the t-shirt.

DD was 3 when she started wearing glasses. I also wore them from a young age. I felt sad but can't imagine her without them now. She loves her specs and they have such gorgeous ones now, much better than in my day.

She's never been teased. She's still very pretty and has 2 "serious#" boyfriends (she's nearly 9). She's very popular with the boys.

Strix · 15/03/2010 22:08

I think glasses are cool -- like a nice fashionable accessory.

I wore glasses when I was young for lazy eye. They wer sooooooooo ugly. Much better choices out there today.

UnquietDad · 15/03/2010 22:10

Glasses can look very cool now. 4 or 5 girls in DD's class wear them, including her.

Swipe left for the next trending thread