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Original poster

to be gutted that DD has to wear glasses

71 replies

mooki · 15/03/2010 20:59

She's 2.5. We hadn't noticed any problems but I asked to have her eyes tested as my eye sight was bad from birth.

I wore glasses from a very young age and whilst I don't remember being bullied about my specs particularly, I think it did contribute to poor self-esteem about my appearance that persists to this day.

I'm obviously very pleased that she will have better vision with her glasses and, through early treatment will potentially avoid a squint that might have developed without them. But she's an absolutely beautiful girl with gorgeous eyes and I am privately and silently (and ridiculously) sad at the thought of her with her little frames.

I suppose when she's much older maybe contact lenses would work; they don't for me because of what's wrong with my eyes and laser treatment doesn't work so well for long sight as short I've read. And I also hate the fact that I have to put my glasses on in the morning - you know, that I just can't function without them.

I haven't let any of this into my head around DD. I'm trying to make it sound really great that she gets to choose special glases and through some positive Charlie and Lola and Peppa Pig reinforcement, she was very happy to pick out some pink frames at the opticians today and wanted to take 'lots of pairs' home. At least there is a better choice than the 2 styles of nhs specs available when I was little.

The unreasonable version of this that I couldn't say out loud is the idea that although I am not attractive, through fluke I have managed to produce a beautiful daughter but now people won't think she's pretty because she wears glasses.

OP posts:
TheFoosa · 05/02/2011 13:06

agree with edam, my dd would LOVE a pair of specs, but she has normal vision

glasses are much coveted these days

TrillianAstra · 05/02/2011 13:07

YANBU to be gutted, having bad eyesight is a PITA and not something you'd want for your child.

But glasses, even for small children, are much nicer than they used to be.

Sassybeast · 05/02/2011 13:13

Flier - why the Sad face ? Do you look at children with glasses and pity them ? Because I'll tell you what - I'm bloody glad that the only problem my kids have to deal with is being short sighted. I can't even be bothered to read back to see if I replied to this thread when it was first posted way back but people who are sad/embarrassed/upset because a child needs glasses need to GET A GRIP. What do you say when your child comments on someone else wearing glasses ? 'Yes darling it's TERRIBLY sad and they are not pretty at all' ?

Seona1973 · 05/02/2011 15:57

ds (4) keeps saying he might need glasses when he is older and always tries on the glasses whenever we take dd to the opticians. There are loads of kids with glasses these days and dd has never had negative comments from other kids about wearing them

LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/02/2011 16:04

In response to the OP, not read much else, I understand how you feel.

I am very short sighted and usually wear contacts but am giving my eyes a break for a few days.

If I am wearing my glasses, I will cross the street to avoid builders for example as when I am wearing my glasses, i don't feel confident enough to fire a retort should they say anything, whereas if I was wearing contacts it wouldn't faze me at all. I sort of feel vulnerable in them, the fact you have no vision round the edges peeves me too.
This is probably because when I started wearing them I had massive pink Deirdre from Corrie specs and had it ried out of me.

I can't imagine all of my 4 kids will escape having to have specs and I am dreading the day I find out which one/s.

Just how I feel. :(

LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/02/2011 16:05

riPPed out of me - there appear to be crumbs jammed under the 'p'. Hmm

gailpud · 05/02/2011 16:06

I wore glasses from the age of about 6.

When I got to my teens I got contacts and didnt wear my glasses agaian for many years.
I used to look back on my childhood and think that I must have looked terrible and ugly with glasses and felt sorry for myself.

Then in my 20's I was looking at a class photo taken when I was about 10 years old. I was shocked to see that infact I looked great. I looked really pretty and dare I say it, the best looking kid in the class even with blue NHS glasses on.

Looking good is about more than wearing glasses or not. The confidence you can give your DD in support will become the corner stone of how she feels about herself and her looks.

flier · 05/02/2011 18:11

SassyBeast the reason for the Sad is because I agree with everything you have said. However, I think I am entitled to feel a little sad that my precious dd has to go through the possible trauma (in her world) of getting glasses. I appreciate that there are a hell of a lot worse things that could happen and a hell of a lot worse things going on in the world, but hey, this IS my DDs world at the moment.

flier · 05/02/2011 18:15

well, dd chose some lovely glasses today. She got such a shock in the first shop we went in to, when she tried on her first pair. She said "I don't like them, all my friends will laugh at me"

Once I talked with her about the choice available, however, and how, when I was wee, I had a choice of two (pink or blue), she came round and eventually I think enjoyed trying on all the different ones.

We'll see how she gets on, and thanks everyone for posting.

again, apologies for resurrecting this thread

toeragsnotriches · 05/02/2011 18:41

I understand that you feel sad but in the grand scheme of things it's not that bad. I also understand that in the DC's world it's traumatic. But wearing specs is something that will, ultimately, enrich their lives.

Sorry if I sound unreasonable, but DS2 has suspected muscular dystrophy. I wish the appointment we have on tuesday were at the optician but it's at the hospital, to find out more.

Your daughter is still beautiful.

Foreverondiet · 05/02/2011 20:42

OP - DD (7) said the other day that she couldn't see the board at school properly and my heart sank (DH had glasses from age 7). Haven't been to optician yet as she could read her school reading book at a fair distance (several metres) but will go at half term.

But toeragsnotriches is right, in the scale of things glasses is fairly minor. As an example my niece had to wear glasses from age 3, now her brother has been diagnosed with ADHD, and that is having a much bigger impact on his life than his little sister's glasses has on hers.

BlackSwan · 06/02/2011 12:59

My DS wore glasses from 7 months old. He's now 12 months.

I wasn't thrilled to hear he needed them, but got over it PDQ when I realised just to be thankful that he was happy to wear them without ripping them off.

He also has to have one of his eyes patched for an hour every day.

It's really no big deal. His eyes are healthy (ie, no cataracts etc, which some babies do have). It's just a vision problem.

Most people are very positive about his glasses, though you do encounter some people who react inappropriately. Both yesterday and the day before someone pointed to him in the street and said "ha ha, that baby's wearing glasses!". Yesterday it got to me & I scowled and pointed back at the person and said "ha ha". Mature of me I know...but since when is it ok to point at someone's baby and laugh? Seriously though, such ignorance is in the minority.

In my honest opinion - glasses only make them look cuter. If she needs to wear them, then wear them she must. Soon you will get used to seeing her in them & you won't think anything of it.

Oblomov · 06/02/2011 13:38

Ds1 was very cross eyed, and had to patch from very early age. I didn't want hiom to wera glasses either. But you get over that really quickly. Now at 7 he talks about wearing contacts. Such fab glasses available these days.

flier · 06/02/2011 13:51

Oblomv and BlackSwan, thanks Smile Blackswan, I am shocked at someone doing that to your baby!

JustcallmeMummyPig · 06/02/2011 15:27

DD is 5.5 and i'm convinced she'll need glasses at some point. My eyesight is shocking and i've worn them since I was 4.

However i had those awful round plastic nhs 80's glasses. They have such lovely designs for kids now, i always have a quick peek when i'm at opticians.

I could have laser treatment, but i'm happy with my contacts/glasses and hope that if my dc need them they will be too.

Your dd is beautiful regardless, hope she's getting used to them :)

Strawbezza · 06/02/2011 16:32

Don't think of glasses as a medical appliance. Think of them as a piece of jewellery. I love wearing glasses, have worn them since I was 12 (clear plastic NHS ones then, and I loved them too).

The frame designs now are amazing, for adults and children.

lilyliz · 07/02/2011 18:37

loads of kids wear glasses,I have worn them since age 5 and DS has worn his since age 4,nobody bothers or ever made a fuss I think because they were used to us wearing them.Funnily enough others at school that got specs while at school did get a ribbing but nothing abusive.

schmee · 07/02/2011 18:50

Agree with edam - my 4 yr old DSs love glasses and keep asking when they can have them. Me too - I was the kid who pretended not to be able to see anything at eye exams to try to get them.

There is a Charlie and Lola book/episode about this. At 2.5 she might be a tiny bit young but worth looking it out for her.

BlackSwan · 07/02/2011 21:00

And the Charlie & Lola episode:

Shuvell77 · 01/05/2015 14:32

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