to have been slightly disapproving of the lyrics of literally ALL the songs sung in DD's mother's day assembly today?

[HerBeatitude]

They were all about how mummies clean and cook, and wash our clothes and tidy up and change our beds and pack our lunches and bring us to school....

And I thought FFS I know for a fact that many of us sitting here do a fark of a lot more than that, and couldn't you have worked some of the other, less gender stereotyped stuff in?

And I also thought, FFS sometimes some of the Daddies even do all that.

Is it just me who thinks that in 2010, schools could be making a leetle more of an effort to point out to children that mummies aren't just there to service the household?

I did feel sorry for a child whos mother had died, and she did look sad. I t should be called 'carers day' or something like that so they can be more considerate.

Bigpants, this is a scripted song, not somethign the kids have put together themselves, no?

I don't have a cleaner and I sure to god would hope that DCs would come up with something more than that off their own back.

Also, if it's a teacher led session on "what ddoes your mummy do for you?" wouldn't you hope that the teacher led it away from cleaning, cooking etc to "laughing at farts and reading me books"

yabu
i wouldnt have a problem with that assembly, it sounds nice to me

I would love it if my dc spoke about me laughing at farts-just not, my mummy farts! Cos being so girly and preoccupied with cleaning, that is something I would never do...

dayday - no, it shouldn't be called Carers Day. I am not my children's carer, I am their Mother.

Yes, there will always be some children for whom this will be a difficult time, but the school will handle that sensivitely during the preparations.

In my class, the children without mums joined in happily, it was the ones with mums who didn't bother to turn up (not the ones who couldn't come because they were working and had explained to their chldren) that looked the saddest.

And anyway, Mothering Sunday isn't anything about mums...

My twins are now in yr 4 but all 3 years of the Infant School Mother's Day celebrations involved a song with the lyrics

'She may not have a degree
but she helps me with my homework'

and I found it pretty grating. It really wasn't along the lines of 'she may or may not have a degree' but more 'she may not have super powers' - the idea that a mum could have a degree was preposterous. I always pointed out to them afterwards that many of the mums in the audience probably did have degrees, including me.

In short YANBU.

'She may not have a degree
but she helps me with my homework'

that's stunningly bad.

Was that a proper published song or did the kids come up with that????

Why would anyone be miffed by 'she may not have a degree?

If it was she hasn't got a degree, slightly different. But still no reason IMO to take it so badly against the spirit in which it's meant.

FFS, I'm really shocked that some of you are defending this shit! It's absolutely awful.

'One of the things most mothers have in common is the domestic side of life, to some extent at least.'

Um, like a previous poster said, surely the one thing in common mothers have is the love for their children and the way they express this to them - stories, playing together, having fun etc etc. NOT the dreary, tedious, monotonous domestic drudgery which is nothing to do with being a mother, IMO. People without kids have to do it too!

Have I been transported back to the 1950s??? Christ, it's as though feminism never happened.

Domestic drudgery has A LOT to do with being a mother IME, as they tend to get quite upset when you don't feed them or clothe them or bath them or clean their arses. Social services would too I imagine, eventually.

Personally I think feminism has bigger things to worry about than a silly song at a school assembly, which the children will have forgotten the words to already, but if thats what you choose to get worked up about, knock yourself out.

Well, I loved our Mother's Day assembly!

Yes, there were lots of cliches, stereotypes and 'gushing' but the children all loved singing to their mummies! I got a little emotional if the truth be known, but DD is only in reception, so am sure the novelty will wear off soon.

Have to say though, I do feel a little sad for those children who for a variety of reasons are not living with their mummies. Must be so sad for them.

Also struggle in church on Mothering Sunday when a big fuss is made of mums as I have a number of friends who have not yet been able to hold a baby. I had three miscarriages myself before dd was born - it is such a hard day.

But feminism starts at home runnybottom. If you don't look at the life you lead, how can you expect the bigger picture to change. It's like saying someone else is responsible for the messages you communicate to your children. Or that the way you bring them up somehow doesn't matter. It's about the messages they receive and how they sink into their subconscious.

And people can be concerned about a huge range of issues without being "worked up".

It does start at home. In my home my worth is not undervalued and I am not a domestic servant.

Which is all the more reason a ditty for infants seems rather pointless as a reason to assume their understanding of female role models is stuck in the 50's.

runnybottom why on earth do you assume that social services will be interested if a mother doesn't do all the domestic drudgery?

Don't other members of the household have any responsibility for this?

I'm not worked up about this. (My OP says "slightly disapproving".) It strikes me that you are far more worked up about trying to defend such lazy stereotyping, than those of us who think it's not quite good enough.

insertexpletive, the novelty never wears off IME.

As I said, they will be interested if my children aren't fed and clothed, and in my circumstances that is mainly my responsibility.

Nothing you have said suggests that your children are only being given one particular view of women. I'm having trouble seeing exactly what it is you are disapproving of. I agree its about messages and influencing their views, but I'm perfectly happy with all of the female role models my sons have. Almost all of the women they know are educated working women, or students, or SAHM's, they are all strong women and I am not remotely concerned about the messages my children receive. To be concerned about such a small thing as a song would suggest to me that you are concerned about your own children and their image of women.
But I'm not worked up at all, merely avoiding even more of the drudgery as long as possible.

" To be concerned about such a small thing as a song would suggest to me that you are concerned about your own children and their image of women."

My goodness, that's quite an assumption.

runnybottom, if you're still having trouble seeing what we're trying to say, I really give up.

You seem rather confused yourself there Mary Your last post says "It's like saying someone else is responsible for the messages you communicate to your children. Or that the way you bring them up somehow doesn't matter"

which is pretty much the polar opposite of my point.

I see what you are saying. I don't agree in the slightest. There are real and serious problems about the portrayal of women and mothers in our society. IMO, this is rather meaningless minutiae. But I don't know the school and I wasn't there, neither were any pf us bar the OP, so in all its a rather pointless debate, isn't it?

Those lyrics are from some scripted songs, we had them too. I did feel a bit but let's be honest those are things that we all do some of the time and some do all of the time. Perhaps we should suggest they sing the same one for father's day!

DS made up for it by writing in my Mothers day card "Mummy I hope you are having a grayt time at work."
Touche!

This thread has inspired me to buy this book for DS, just to reassign the balance in some small way

Yes, we have had that song too. In context, the meaning of the line is clearly 'you haven't got a degree and you don't need one' Cleaning, shopping and making the tea are what's important. Mothers only need to be clever enough to 'help with my homework - that's what matters to me'

I am stunned that some of you think this is acceptable and that we should just be grateful that the school invite us at all.
Schools are public bodies which have statutory duties to promote equality under the terms of the Equality Act - they have to have a strategy for challenging gender stereotyping, for example. I'm sorry, but invoking Rudolf and Xmas is spectacularly missing the point.

BTW, the song in question comes from the aptly titled collection 'Out of the Ark'

YANBU

A song about how mummy is there for cuddles, and advice, to go to when knees are scraped and feeling are hurt - that would be appropriate. Reducing being a mother to a list of chores that a cleaner/housekeeper could do is bloody insulting.

It is nothing to do with Mothering and everything to do with domestic chores - not what Mothering Sunday is supposed to be celebrating.

YANBU and really at the degree thing!

i think we should write a song here and now and then circulate to all our schools for next year.

Are you with me sisters??!!!!