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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ridiculous argument over dinner

107 replies

thehillsarealive · 08/03/2010 19:23

ok, DH just came in from work asked what was for dinner, I said that there was soup (root vegetable & thyme) with wholegrain bread or if he didnt fancy that there was yesterdays roast left over in the fridge which i would do him with veg, fresh mash and fresh yorkie puds. He just had a big strop - and has actually fucked off to the supermarket to get himself something else.

I didnt think he would want the soup - as "it isnt enough for him after work" - he doesnt do manual labour btw, he works in the city,probably hasnt had lunch but that isnt my problem... Anyway, he doesnt want the same food as yesterday...

so AIBU not to run a fucking hotel with full A la Carte menu of an evening or should i have transformed yesterdays pork into stroganoff like i was going to (he didnt know this) but i ran out of time, had to take DD to doctors, both DC to after school activities, dog to vets and home to make dinner.

sorry for mega long post, i am totally peed off.

OP posts:
Morloth · 09/03/2010 11:22

tortoiseonthehalfshell "Bloody hell, I wish I got home to a cooked meal every night. Let alone complaining that the options available to me aren't good enough."

I know right, can you imagine just walking in the door after a day at work and dinner is ready? No need to think about it, shop for it, cook it, chase kids around house, clean kitchen afterwards. There is just food there hot and ready. I wouldn't complain if someone was serving me roasted bat under those circumstances!

Luckily my DH knows when he is onto a good thing.

barefootinthepark · 09/03/2010 12:40

it's just the massive huge "I'm not running a fucking hotel everybody call my husband a knob" thing I don't like

i am an sahm and don't cook myself so, you know, bring on the inadequacy accusations

ImSoNotTelling · 09/03/2010 13:26

"i don't think it's nice to be rude but i do kind of think that if sahm of school children it's not the worst thing in the world to have a dinner ready

erk

i just do

i don't think he should be rude but if i was working and my husband was at home i'd appreciate a dinner"

She did offer him a dinner. She offered him two. You seem to think that what she offered him was insufficient.

Personally I be well chuffed with the choices she gave him. Home-made soup and bread, or meat, mash & veg. Sounds delicious.

barefootinthepark · 09/03/2010 13:36

do excuse me

i now think her husband is a total knobend who thinks she is running a fucking a la carte hotel, what a fucking wanker

altogether now

ImSoNotTelling · 09/03/2010 13:48

I am simply questioning why you thought that she was being out of order for not offering him a decent dinner while are far as I could see she had offered him two really nice ones.

I thought it was unfair to imply that she was doing a poor job of looking after her family, which is basically what your post said.

Lulumaam · 09/03/2010 13:54

if he'd had soup and the leftover roast he'd have been full up

as you were....

barefootinthepark · 09/03/2010 14:02

well, you know, i think you can tell from the way i posted that i was very hesitant in what i can barely call a judgement

so what, he shouldn't have gone off on one but hills should have realised if she knows her husband at all that this wasn't normal and that he was just having a moment

ImSoNotTelling · 09/03/2010 14:06

But why did you say she had not done right by him? I don't get it.

OtterInaSkoda · 09/03/2010 14:07

This has nothing to do with being a man. I'd be very pissed off if I got home from work on DP's day off and he offered me vegetable soup for dinner.

But the OP also offered some roast with fresh mash etc. The soup would have made a lovely starter to enjoy as soon as he got in as a stopgap, as Lulu says. I think there was a bit of a comms breakdown somewhere along the line.

barefootinthepark · 09/03/2010 14:16

i didn't say that

choccyp1g · 09/03/2010 14:21

Threads like this always remind me that it is not all bad being a single mother. I only have to contend with DS acting like a child. Sounds like OP has now come to a reasonable agreement with DP anyway.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 09/03/2010 14:28

I think that saying:

"oh my gosh

i don't think it's nice to be rude but i do kind of think that if sahm of school children it's not the worst thing in the world to have a dinner ready

erk

i just do

i don't think he should be rude but if i was working and my husband was at home i'd appreciate a dinner....."

  • does imply that she hasn't done right by him - it implies she didn't have a dinner ready, when in fact he had a choice of two meals!! That quote puts her firmly in the wrong for not having got his dinner ready for him, as I read it.
barefootinthepark · 09/03/2010 14:33

ok well whatever

Original poster
thehillsarealive · 09/03/2010 16:23

barefoot, have you never been angry, annoyed or pissed off at your husband/partner/OH?

I didnt ask anyone to call my husband a dickhead or worse, so you cannot push that one on me.

OP posts:
MillyR · 09/03/2010 16:35

I didn't realise there were still households where women did all the cooking. I must warn my daughter about the sons of some of the women on this thread!

Original poster
thehillsarealive · 09/03/2010 16:44

milly - i dont do ALL the cooking, but i do the majority. I dont have an issue with that at all. Have taught my son to cook, he loves it, my daughter too - although she is only 6, so early days for her.

OP posts:
Morloth · 09/03/2010 16:48

Not too worry MillyR, my DH just got asked "Dominos or Indian?" and knew better than to argue.

I don't mind doing the cooking (because I am pretty good at it). I would mind if I got the sort of attitude that the OP did. I wouldn't put up with a tantrum like that from a toddler let alone a grown man.

MillyR · 09/03/2010 16:49

I wasn't really aiming my remark at you Hills, more at the the 'a SAHM should have dinner on the table' school of thought.

MissWooWoo · 09/03/2010 17:10

YANBU! I would be pissed off too. My dp practically has an orgasm if I text him to say there is anything for dinner because usually he sorts it out when he gets in for the both of us. I only have one dc (pre-schooler) and I think that anyone who manages to get tea on't table for another grown up as well as sort the kid(s) out is doing a bloody good job.

On the subject of soup my dp has recently spent time at the weekends making his own with ham hocks, pulses and root veg [grrr manly emoticon]. It is a VERY filling (and lovely) soup and he's more than happy to eat that for his dinner with bread. Not so sure he would fancy carrot and corriander though

Original poster
thehillsarealive · 09/03/2010 17:34

i had to laugh earlier, was chatting to my mum on the phone and she was horrified that i had served soup as DH main meal! haaa that told me.

morloth - indian for me please

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 09/03/2010 17:54

It depends on the soup!..it can definantely be a main meal if I make soup..my chicken soup has mini dumplings,lots of chunky veg potatoes,carrots,pumpkin,pulses etc & meat eaten with crusty bread (if required)...

OP your DH was BU and ungrateful imo..maybe he had a bad day..but he should not take it out on you..he was acting like an arse..

ImSoNotTelling · 09/03/2010 17:56

I would blanche at soup for supper too.

But then I don't like soup particularly, so DH would never dish it up

The meat and mash and veg and yorkshires wouldn't have lasted 5 mins though...

shockers · 09/03/2010 18:03

We've just had soup... bloomin lovely!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 09/03/2010 18:06

I sometimes do smoked haddock chowder for dinner - with smoked haddock, prawns and mussels in it, as well as potatoes and sweetcorn, it is a meal in a bowl - we don't even need bread with it, and no-one has ever claimed to feel short-changed by just having soup!

ImSoNotTelling · 09/03/2010 18:56

Oooh yes we have cullen skink sometimes, that is counted as a proper meal too!