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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - ?

101 replies

elmofan · 06/03/2010 18:32

ds's friend is moving house tomorrow , his parents have gone to see how their new house is coming along & left their ds (10) playing outside & told my ds also (10) to mind him , that was at one o' clock today , i only found all this out at 4pm when i called my ds in for dinner , i then offered this child dinner but he is not allowed to eat in any one's house (he is a foreign child) it is now starting to get dark outside & cold , and he is out side with no coat, hungry but every time i invite him inside for food he says no thanks . two years ago his father asked me to mind him while he took his wie to work (30 mins drive away) & i ended up minding the child for 4 hours & it was 10pm when he knocked in to collect him with no explanation what so ever , in fact he did not even speak just smiled at me when i opened the door & yes he can speak very good English as dh has spoken to him before ,the boy says his house is locked up & he does not know his parents mobile phone numbers , not sure what to do now but my ds cant stay out there much longer , any advice please ?

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 06/03/2010 18:33

I'd phone local police.

cocolepew · 06/03/2010 18:34

If he won't come in I'd phone the police too.

GypsyMoth · 06/03/2010 18:35

yes,call police

PiggyPenguin · 06/03/2010 18:36

definitely don't leave him alone outside in the dark. If he won't come in then phone police.

Rindercella · 06/03/2010 18:36

At the very least, I would insist he come into your home until his parents turn up, just perhaps not with the offer of food.

It's now 6.30 and this 10 year old child has been left by himself since 1pm? Quite honestly, I would be tempted to call the local police too (not 999).

AMumInScotland · 06/03/2010 18:39

Do try again without the offer of food - he may have religious dietary requirements and have been taught never to take food from anyone but family. If he still won't come in, definitely local police - 10yo should not be left out like that for hours on end.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 06/03/2010 18:39

Terrible that he does not know their tel numbers, never mind anything else (mine are 6 and 9 and have known my no for ages).

I agree. Call the police.

MuppetsMuggle · 06/03/2010 18:47

I agree with everyone else, offer to keep him indoors without the offer of food, if he again says no then call the local police

skihorse · 06/03/2010 18:52

Call the police anyway - this is neglect.

Original poster
elmofan · 06/03/2010 18:56

i have him inside now , he is sitting on the couch with my dc's eating a roll with just tomato in it as he is fasting for lent & is not allowed to eat meat or dairy products , i feel terrible for the poor child , he does not know when his parents will be back

OP posts:
Portofino · 06/03/2010 18:58

Did you bring him indoors?

Portofino · 06/03/2010 19:01

Fasting for Lent? What religion is he?
At least he is warm. I would give the parents a little while before calling the police. Poor sod!

PiggyPenguin · 06/03/2010 19:05

Poor little guy. Glad he's indoors and hope his parents turn up soon.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 06/03/2010 19:05

This is weird. They've been gone 6 hours - they didn't ask you to look after him- just left him with your son ?

Original poster
elmofan · 06/03/2010 19:08

yes he is watching a film with my dc's , he is African , he is now offering to do chores to earn his food & shelter
and has told me he is old enough to be responsible for himself 10years old fgs

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 06/03/2010 19:09

Do you feel you can call the police ? If not, I'd call the NSPCC and ask their advice.

Original poster
elmofan · 06/03/2010 19:13

really really dont want to phone the police , but just worried if we might be leaving ourselves wide open to trouble , hoping his parents come home soon .

OP posts:
MrsVidic · 06/03/2010 19:14

Poor lad- thank god for good people like you

skihorse · 06/03/2010 19:15

Please phone the police or contact social services on Monday. I wish someone had bothered to do it on my behalf when I was a child... I wish someone had cared enough about children to not look the other way.

lumpasmelly · 06/03/2010 19:24

He's inside with you and safe at the moment so hold fire on calling social services and the police. You don't know enough about the family situation yet.....however, when the parents get back, don't let them get away with a "smile and thank-you" as what they have done is not acceptable. There might be a good explanation (though heavens knows what it is). If their response is not satisfactory and you feel the child is in danger, then DO phone the police/social services etc.

Poor kid!

GypsyMoth · 06/03/2010 19:26

not back yet?

you need to call police

Imisssleeping · 06/03/2010 19:29

call the police and if they turn up and ask why you did, say you thought they must have been in an accident.

Rhubarb · 06/03/2010 19:30

I would wait until they come back and have a severe word with them. Tell them that if they do anything like this again you will report them to social services, because in this country that counts as neglect.

Say you don't mind looking after him so long as they are honest with you about the duration. But also make sure they are in no doubt that you are watching them and will be keeping an eye out for this boy.

johnworf · 06/03/2010 19:34

FFS! These parents are idiots. Def have a word with them. It's wrong on so many levels leaving a child.

thatsnotmymonkey · 06/03/2010 19:34

This has made me cry, but please please talk to the family 1st and don't jump into calling the police (doesn't sound like you would jump into it ). I think there are significant cultural differences to how his parents see child rearing and how you do.
I think from my values to have him out in the cold this long is totally awful,however perhaps you could tell the family to let the son know your door is always open in emergencies and he should not hesitate to come in. Get their mobile numbers too. I think you should take the route of help and concern in the first instance. Perhaps the family are very proud and don't want to ask for help?