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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think mums who have rear-facing buggies for toddlers are the ultimate in preciousness?

148 replies

Picante · 03/03/2010 20:05

Sorry I have had a glass of wine... (yes it only takes one these days).

I'm all for tiny babies being rear-facing, but older babies/toddlers? Don't you get a bit sick of all that cooing and smiling? Surely at that point they're in a buggy for a reason, either to get somewhere or to get them to sleep.

Stop smiling insanely at them. Turn them round so they can look at the world fgs.

OP posts:
tortoiseonthehalfshell · 03/03/2010 23:09

This is a hilarious thread. Is it a sendup? It has all the characteristics of that meta thread from yesterday about posters not reading the OP. We've had the "but what about the special needs parent" thing, we've had the "here is a link to some research" thing, we've had But Who Judges The Judgers, Hmm?

It's got everything. A thread for the ages.

houseworkhater · 03/03/2010 23:18

Can't be bothered to read all the thread (tired emotion).

I would assume that these mothers have children who learn to talk at an early age and also begin school with a clear advantage over children whose parents couldn't be bothered to talk to their children.

Silver1 · 03/03/2010 23:19

I know I am precious, for doing in my way and not considering the feelings of a light weight drunken slush on mumsnet.
Of course YANBU lovey, I am

SarfEasticated · 03/03/2010 23:45

I have my dd (2.50) facing me, I get separation anxiety when she is facing the other way. I love looking at her and singing, and just coo-ing at her (sick f*ck that I am!). If she ever started trying to turn round I would though, just that this way suits both of us.
I agree that rear facing pushchairs should be cheaper too.

bernadetteoflourdes · 04/03/2010 00:52

Why do prams/pushchairs/frilly moses baskets make us all so judgemental (see vomit thread above). Iused to push ds everywhere when I lived in Bristol. Ihad no car and couln't drive anyway. So I used to waalk him miles front facing some days rear facing other days (not bugaboo but cheap as chips mothercare green lovely buggy. But my neighbour (American know all with grown up kids) actually followed me in my gate to remonstrate and impart her fucking pearls of sagedom about my ugly all encompassing plastic raincover. She thought it was cruel to the kid and unsanitary (her words) IT WAS FEBRUARY, with a force 8 monsoon blowing in off the Bristol channel. Iam not precious about ds but she told me a little rain is good for their constituton!

Original poster
Picante · 04/03/2010 06:44

Ooooops. Sorry all I went to bed and look what happened. Twas definitely a badly-worded op but I still think there's too much cooing.

Mind you I have a baby who hates facing inwards in her sling gazing at my ugly mug, she much prefers looking out so she can look around, I think a lot of it depends on the child.

Anyhow, apologies for the use of the word 'precious', perhaps slightly overdramatic...

OP posts:
MrsNetz · 04/03/2010 07:12

I knew it there did used to be gender specific nappies I didn't make it up!! Thx

abride · 04/03/2010 07:59

If you saw some of the children we have in our reception class who can barely talk or engage in a social setting you might see things differently, OP. These are children whom nobody has taken much trouble to chat to. They've been bunged in forward-facing buggies or car seats and left to themselves.

Apparently some of them are a year behind the class: at the age of 5.

QuestionsAnswered · 04/03/2010 08:26

People's arses must be huuuuuuuuge for a child not to be able to see past them. All this talk of children not being able to see anything in Rear facing pushchairs

Rear facing is a great invention, especially ones you can swap easily.

But best to ignore the research from the national literacy trust If I had a forward facing I wouldn't worry about it, but I wouldn't make a choice to have one and even go so far as to vilify those that did, that's just weird.

IsItMeOr · 04/03/2010 08:39

abride that is really .

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 04/03/2010 08:53

www.literacytrust.org.uk/talk_to_your_baby/about

Haven't read all of this thread but wondered if anyone had posted this link yet?

My 15 year old DD1 is dyslexic, most of her problems lie with phonetic processing. So she still says renember and other such mixed up words. This has been linked back to a hearing problem (now resolved) when she was a baby.
The first year or so in a childs life are crucial for phonic awereness. The brain becomes hardwired after a time to the phonic sounds that it hears, and looking at mum or whoever is pushing whilst being spoken to is essential for the childs long term phonic awareness.

So YABU, there is nothing precious about nuturing and teaching our children things that are crucial for their development. If you don't like it, don't do it, but no need to be a judgey pants to those of us who choose to do what we feel is right for our children!

confuddledDOTcom · 04/03/2010 10:56

It's actually not good for a baby to be outward facing in a sling. I don't mean in the same way as pushchairs, there are a lot of reasons it's bad for them that don't apply to pushchairs. For example being outwards facing is bad on their back, which isn't a problem in a pushchair.

I'll see if I can find the article.

Whoamireally · 04/03/2010 11:48

abride, that's it exactly - if I, as an SLT, found myself not talking much to my dd when in her forward facing buggy, then nor is anyone else - and as you have pointed out communication isn't just about speech and speech sounds, it's about all the other things that you don't get so much of when you're facing the other way - eye contact, facial expression, turn taking. If you can see when your child is looking or pointing at something you can start a conversation about it and help build their vocabulary, and this is much easier to do if you are looking at them and they're not hidden beneath the sun shade.

This is just as important at toddler/ preschool stage as at the baby stage.

But ultimately, if a child is getting lots and lots of input at other times it doesn't matter so much if they're facing the front for half an hour a day. But with two kids, input time is shared so I class my rear facing buggy time as 'quality time'

posieparkerfuckityfuck · 04/03/2010 11:50

I can just switch mine around, so when big dcs are around I let my 15 month old see where they're going and when it's just me I chatter away to him.

abride · 04/03/2010 16:32

I actually had a forward-facing buggy myself. I didn't see it as a problem but my former HV mother was always telling me off. We did use a rear-facing pushchair and pram, and a sling though. Said in defensive tone.

In a family where you're talking to your babies at other times it doesn't matter. One of the mothers of said poor little children at the school can't even be bothered to chat to him during the five minute walk to school. She spends the time texting. So far as I can see nobody chats to him or plays with him at home. He is very, very behind the other children.

Lionstar · 04/03/2010 20:42

confuddlesDOTcom, just came back to this thread a bit late, but anyway wanted to say that's not true for all slings. Assume you're thinking of those baby-bjorn types where the babies dangle from their crotch. However there are all kinds of other styles of sling - including wraps and pouches that are much more supportive and hold babies in a more natural position - even facing out.

plonker · 04/03/2010 21:07

My dd is 2.5 and barely goes in a pushchair now.

When she does, she prefers to be rear-facing. Nothing to do with me being precious, and I can't remember the last time I coo-ed at her, but we do have some lovely conversations as we're going along.

Reeeeeeeeeally can't see how being rear-facing means she can't look at the world - does the world only exist infront of us?

YABU

RainbowsandDaisies · 04/03/2010 21:14

I have never had a rear facing buggy - always wanted my toddlers to face forward - they are both nosy thus enjoy looking around and seem to find demands when they can see me! Not had a glass of wine but need one!

Guadalupe · 04/03/2010 21:18

yabu and you knows it

Guadalupe · 04/03/2010 21:20

know even!

confuddledDOTcom · 04/03/2010 23:37

I said "sling" because I meant "sling" and not "baby carrier" I do actually know the difference, not only as part of my Doula training but I only ever wrap and the study I read was on a wrapping website and talking about all styles including wraps because it's not about the support of the sling or the style - it is the facing out.

I tried to locate the study earlier but was in a rush, I'm going to have another look for it.

runnybottom · 05/03/2010 00:05

I think it was centred on overstimulation, the inability to read caregiver expression as a mediator. Facing outward in a sling of anykind makes it near impossible for the baby to turn away from bright lights/loud noise/other people etc.

MrsTicklemouse · 05/03/2010 00:07

YABU

fwiw my just turned two year old hates facing forward he would much rather talk to his brother than look at someone's bottom!!

i love my boys but i can say i have never cooed at either of them and will only take ds2 shopping if ds1 is there to keep him company

RobynLou · 05/03/2010 01:00

I still carry my 2.5 year old facing me, It makes a quick trip somewhere into some proper quality time that we can spend talking about what we've done, what we can see, what we're having for dinner etc etc

EmmaBemma · 05/03/2010 06:34

Christ on a bike! The things people get wound up about. Never noticed what way other people's buggies face. Don't care. Will never care. Next!