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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think mums who have rear-facing buggies for toddlers are the ultimate in preciousness?

148 replies

Picante · 03/03/2010 20:05

Sorry I have had a glass of wine... (yes it only takes one these days).

I'm all for tiny babies being rear-facing, but older babies/toddlers? Don't you get a bit sick of all that cooing and smiling? Surely at that point they're in a buggy for a reason, either to get somewhere or to get them to sleep.

Stop smiling insanely at them. Turn them round so they can look at the world fgs.

OP posts:
Crazycatlady · 03/03/2010 20:31

YABU. Some babies/toddlers are happy to be moved to forward facing, some are not.

DD was in a rear facing bugaboo bee to start with, but decided at 8 months that she wanted to see the world, and was craning her neck out sideways to see where we were going and whinging, so we turned the seat of her buggy round. One of her best friends is also in a bugaboo bee, and he really prefers facing mummy. TBH, I just think it's great to be able to choose!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 03/03/2010 20:33

I don't give a stuff which way other people's babies are facing! My toddler is 2.4 and is front facing- but most of the time we are walking, we are out with the dogs, so he is running ahead with his sister until he gets tired!

and I still manage to talk/ sing etc with him when he is the pram, so don't really see it as a problem. Much like I can walk beside my DH and talk to him without staring into his eyes at all times! In my defence, usually when we are out with the hounds I am singing "The grand Old duke of York" or pointing out things of interest, while trying to keep one eye on each of the kids and the other on the dogs.

but I wouldn't think "precious so-and-so" if I saw a toddler in a rear-facing buggy, any more than I'd hope they would think "ooh, there's a cold, unloving mummy" if they saw my front-facer!

ahedgehogisdueinMarch · 03/03/2010 20:33

YABU

I have a total of 5 pushchairs (2 are kept at my mum and dads who live a 3 1/2 hour drive away)

When DS was newborn he went in a rear facing pram, at about 5 months I sat him up still RF but decided I needed a smaller pushchair for the boot of the car and bought a maclaren which we both love, but we also walk a lot so he is RF for that.

I have now had DD and DS is 20 months so have bought a P&T sport and love the fact that he sits higher in the toddler seat on top of DD than he seems to in the maclaren.

When he is RF he does not strain to look round and we can talk about what we have seen. The 2 pushchairs I have at my parents are FF and I am not looking forward to not being able to see her like I could DS

BouncingTurtle · 03/03/2010 20:36

YABU, I really wish I had got a rear facing pushchair for ds(2.2yo), but we inherited the one we used for my stpson, a mothercare cheapy. Child number 2 is going to have a rear facing pushchair all the way, I find it awkward to chat to ds when he is the pushchair! Luckily he generally wants to walk!

Whoamireally · 03/03/2010 20:36

YABU. Totally. I love chatting to my children and as a practising SLT did a little experiment of my own once and counted (a) how many times I talked, looked or smiled at dd1 in 5 minutes in the rear facing buggy and (b) repeat experiment in the forward facing buggy.

I am ashamed to say I barely spoke to her when she was forward facing - so sad, and when she's in the Maclaren I try and talk to her and she has to turn round to say 'pardon Mummy, didn't hear you, what did you say?'

It honestly almost brings me to tears when people shove their babies in those horrid Phil and Ted pouches underneath an older child, like they are a bag of shopping to be stowed away and not worthy of light, stimulation or any form of conversation. Should be banned!

LucyHoneychurch · 03/03/2010 20:37

But the baby can see more than just who is pushing them! There isn't some kind of tunnel vision between pusher and child.

I said earlier how much I chat to my DD while I push her but equally if I am shopping or talking to DP etc my attention is elsewhere and DD is looking all over and "seeing the world" as someone else has said.

Have to say, this whole debate is odd. There is surely better things to judge people on if that is what you actually want

tethersend · 03/03/2010 20:38

It's not exactly a new concept. I have a vintage silver cross which, like all other prams for the past hundred-odd years, faces the parent.

scottishmummy · 03/03/2010 20:39

oh god yes no cooing and smiling.more griping like you,eh

Miggsie · 03/03/2010 20:39

Well if they face away from you all they get to see is a load of stranger's groins...not much fun for any child really.

I had a really old fashioned buggy that faced me and was quite high so we could chat to each other.

lockets · 03/03/2010 20:40

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Washersaurus · 03/03/2010 20:45

Well, I can say that MY baby loved being tucked into the 'parcel shelf' (as DH called it) in his little cocoon so much that it was the only place he would sleep.

The back seat of the P&T is the most fought over now as is protected from the elements and I can read books and chatter/sing to both DC's as I push....well, I don't actually push 2 at the moment as DS1 is 4yo, but DC3 will be along soon .

I don't really hold opinions on other peoples pushchair choices tbh, except that stokke ones look like office chairs.....

BettySwollux · 03/03/2010 20:48

YABU. My icandy broke when DS was 2 (now 2.6) he and I both loved it rear facing.
I just have the umbrella buggy now, and find we dont chat as much forward facing.

If it hadnt broke I would still be using it.

totalmadness · 03/03/2010 20:51

I LOVED my rear facing pushchair. We got rid of it when dd was born as we used a double for a few months. Since dd (and now ds2) we have had forward facing doubles and I do miss being able to see them properly and chatter away.

Stil have my rear facing buggy for imaginery child no.4!!!

ArthurPewty · 03/03/2010 20:51

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Whoamireally · 03/03/2010 20:53

I am now on wine (and watching Glee). My nephew is the same in his P&T's. Maybe babies sleep in the P&T parcel shelves because there is bugger all else for them to do

Washersaurus · 03/03/2010 20:58

Actually, the baby is positioned so they look directly up at you . It is the lovely gently swaying motion that rocks them to sleep.

Anyways, I shall not be concerned by the opinion of an internet sprite who has openly admitted not talking to her DC's when they are in their pushchair....

Washersaurus · 03/03/2010 21:00

I think it is a greater concern that children are strapped into car seats in the back of the car for long periods....what about the freaky parents who sit in the back with them eh?

KeithTalent · 03/03/2010 21:11

I agree with Lockets

AvonBarksdale · 03/03/2010 21:12

YABcompletelyU. DD1 faced me until dd2 was born and I think it had a massive impact on her development. She can talk and sing at 2 better than all of her friends of the same age and I think facing me in the pushchair was a key factor.dd2 now faces me and her sister on the buggy board and she'll continue to do so for the foreseeable future. If you don't want to take my word for it read this www.bestpram.co.uk/index.php/pram-direction-affects-baby/

emmymama · 03/03/2010 21:12

dd (11.5months) has both, i bought a forward facing buggy cos it was lighter (i'm pregnant) and she screamed all the time she was in it cos she wanted to see me so shes back in the mummy facing pram.

Mishy1234 · 03/03/2010 21:17

I think it really depends on the child.

I have DS facing me as if he's not he cranes round to try to see me all the time. Some of my friends children are completely the opposite and prefer to face out.

I don't talk constantly to him, but I do talk a fair amount if he's looking like he wants to engage.

GoodnightNobody · 03/03/2010 21:21

From the National Literacy Trust:

"A cultural belief also appears to exist in the UK (and among manufacturers) that, once they can sit up, babies benefit from looking out onto the world around them. However, research repeatedly shows that in order for babies to make effective use of that experience of the wider world, they need parents to help mediate and make sense of it for them.

Every occasion that a baby has for interacting with an adult is a valuable one. Neuroscience has revealed that the synapses in a childÂ?s brain multiply 20-fold between the birth and three years of age, a rate that is faster than at any other time in life (Gerhardt, 2005). Infants are born with brains that are already tuned into, and dependent upon, social responses from other people. Thus, on every occasion that a baby has a need for a communicative response from his or her parent, but is unable to obtain it, this creates a low-level stress response in the infant. When such instances of stress occur repeatedly and frequently, they become damaging to infantsÂ? neural, physiological and psychological development. In addition a large body of evidence exists confirming that early interactions between parents and infants have a long-term effect on childrenÂ?s development. Yet there appears to be no previously published research on how baby buggies may affect parent-child interaction. Our research set out to fill this gap.

The research comprised two separate studies. The first, a national observational survey, systematically documented the social interactions during buggy use of 2,722 parent-child pairs, in 54 locations throughout the UK. The second, a small-scale experimental study with 20 mother-infant pairs, monitored both mother-infant interactions and indicators of infant stress during journeys in the two types of buggy Â? facing towards and away from the pusher.

Away-facing buggies formed the majority of observations in the first study: used by 62% of all those observed, rising to 86% for children aged between one and two years. However, they were also associated with a two-fold reduction in speaking, on the part of both parents and infants. Interestingly, infants in toward-facing buggies were twice as likely to be sleeping as infants in away-facing buggies, an unexpected finding that has tentatively been interpreted as an indicator of stress levels.

Our experimental study, observing 20 mother-infant pairs, who took part by travelling in both towards and away-facing buggies, confirmed that mothers spoke more when using towards-facing buggies Â? indeed twice as much as in away-facing buggies. It also showed that mothers and infants were both more likely to laugh in the towards-facing orientation, and that mothers were aware of and surprised by this overall change in communicative interactions with their babies. Finally, the results yielded tentative further evidence for the possibility that buggy orientation could influence child stress: infant heart rates fell slightly when moved into a toward-facing orientation, and they were also more likely to fall asleep in this orientation.

If there is any possibility that the design of buggies is failing to promote infantsÂ? development, then this is a considerable concern. Virtually every family in the UK who has a child under the age of three years will own a buggy. If it can be confirmed, in future research, that Â?turning the buggies aroundÂ? makes a difference to child development, then the manufacturing of Â?emotionally healthyÂ? baby buggies could be an easy, affordable, and achievable intervention for facilitating long-term mental and physical health. Ultimately, though, it is parents who will have the greatest investment in this issue. If buggy design does hold consequences for infant development, as the results of these two studies suggests it does, then they deserve access to this information, in order to make decisions about how best to care for their children."

Whoamireally · 03/03/2010 21:21

Riiiggght. You obviously weren't reading the bit where I said that in my professional opinion after trying both out myself, forward facing pushchairs are not conducive to good communication hence I use a rear facing one....

Anyways I shall not be concerned by the opinion of an internet sprite who has openly admitted shoving her baby in a stimulus free box just to get a bit of peace and quiet....

(Two can play that particular game ) oh yes almost forgot because that seemingly makes it OK to dismiss other people's views as a crock of shit just because you don't happen to agree.

bibbitybobbityhat · 03/03/2010 21:23

Yanbu. I completely agree with you. And the reason why is posted at 21:12:12 on this thread!

I haven't had wine either .

nannynobnobs · 03/03/2010 21:27

I loved having DD2 in her rear facing Loola. We tried it front facing for a bit but switched back until she was putting her grubby shoes on my trousers. Then the crappy Loola fell to bits anyway.
DD2 speaks and interacts very well now btw she is 3.4yo and people ask why she isn't in school (she is a long legged beastie too).