schools constantly asking parents for money

[saslou]

AIBU to resent being constantly asked for money by my childrens school. This week we have World book day, so I am just off out to get costumes as I am not very good at making things. They also have the book fair this week and an author coming into school who will also be giving children the "opportunity" to purchase her books while she is there. I am very happy to buy books but don't think that school is the right place to sell children things.
In addition my childrens school wants parents to pay the insurance and travel costs of compulsory school activities (they don't even ask nicely, just tell you that these are the costs). Recently I got billed for a lost library book that my child hadn't even brought home.
I feel mean because I know they have financial pressures but also feel I am being treated like their own personal cashpiont. It doesn't occur to them that not all parents have lomitless amounts of money.
Anyway, sorry for long rant...

YANBU OP

All those people who say "do you begrudge £x amount for a day out" should try managing on a low income with several school-age children. School trips are great, but the costs need to be realistic and the benefits clear. And I do think that schools should generally take advantage of cheap and low-cost local options.

I don't have a problem with occasional charity things - although I have to say what they learn by giving a £1 to Haiti to wear odd socks for the day is probably kind of limited. I do have a problem with being railroaded into the bookfair/raffle etc etc.

But where is the assumption that you can afford it? They send home raffle tickets and requests and so on and you tell them you can't. They aren't going to send the heavies round are they?
Isn't it more that its the typically english problem of not wanting to be seen to not have the money?

My son's school is always asking for money. If I can I do, when I can't I don't. I have no embaressment over this at all.

But runnybottom, there IS an embarrassment if you can't afford to send your child on a school trip!

God yes. I think the governors should take an overview of how much money is being asked for each term and keep it under a limit which is agreed by the parent body as a whole.

Ds's school is reasonable IMO although he's only 6 so perhaps it will get worse. So far I've never felt that I HAD to contribute or ds wouldn't be able to participate. The big money drain is the Christmas bazaar - I have learned to be prepared to spend a minimum of £10 but you can at least stay completely away from that. And they do all sorts of helpful things like having a complete stock of nativity costumes so that you only have to provide a T-shirt or similar. I think it's because it used to be quite a poor area around the school, but it's the way all primary schools should operate IMO.

our school fair has a theme every year....toy story,pirates,dinosaurs....

last year was dinosaurs. few weeks before the fair they have a day of learning about this particular theme,dressing up for the occasion....so the pta make and sell outfits in the playground,at a profit of course!

talk about railroading you! the pta staff dress their own kidss in this tat and let them run round the playground showing it off,so of course all the kis want thwe same!

its not fair on the parents,and certainly not on the children. its plain wrong

Although non uniform days are not compulsory, they have got you over a barrel cos you don't want your child to stand out.Wrt the library book,I can see two sides to this. On the one hand my son did have it and has put it down somewhere,which is why I have paid for it. On the other hand, he really did lose it at school, and I had no control over this. Children do lose things and I think it should just be accepted as part of the running cost of a school.Felt it was a bit mean to bill me for this along with transport/insurance costs.My ds hates going swimming with the school but it is compulsory. I am annoyed with it all coming at once and the way the letters are worded. Wrt secondary school, have spent fortune this week on home ec ingredients for food ds doesn't even like. Promise to stop moaning now. Feel better now I've ranted

Is there? I never went on any (away) school trips growing up, I knew not to even ask, it wasn't a possibility. I wasn't the only one. I'm sure i would have liked to going skiing with the school but I'm not scarred for life by it, and afaik my mother wasn't hiding her face from shame.

Maybe I'll be saying different in a few years though, who knows?

I never got involved with any commercial things at the school - crappy tea towels, book fairs, anything really which financially benefitted some other organisation other than the school or a charity.

Just said to dd no she could not have money for the book fair.

Don't think she missed out.

School photographs were another rip off imo but I was not so stony hearted that I refused to pay for them. Even though most of the pictures were not the best.

specifically re swimming
it is a compulsory part of the curriculum? yes?
then the school should budget for the transport & insurance, just like it budgets for for everything else - the governors are taking the mickey.

I can't see the problem with asking children to bring in money for non uniform days.
Each time my children have one at school there are always several children who go in non uniform and do not pay the requested donation. Nobody makes a fuss about it, children just put their money into an envelope on the desk when they arrive. It isn't ticked off against their name or anything, and if you don't have the money you just don't pay.

If the school were having to pay out money themselves and then trying to recoup the cost that might be different, but for a something that is purely a cash donation, just don't pay it.

Our swimming lessons are £40 per child per term on top of all the other charges that come home all the time. Drives me mad.

This pisses me off too. I feel like every week I have to send in money, or spend money on something.
This week is money for sponsored assault course. I don't really have anyone to ask so I'll pay, and the form made a point of saying that if each child raises £7 they can replace the laptop batteries, so of course DD wants £7.
Last week was 10 plastic bottles, we don't drink anything from them so I bought them, and again, the 'recommendation' was 10.

This week was pipe cleaners for WBD costume, and then DD will want a book, though I've said no to that when we can go to the Library.

Next week I need to pay for the trip, which is £6. Not that dear admittedly, but it's one thing after another and last year, I would have really struggled to find the extra.

I wrote to the Headmaster last month about not giving enough notice, both for practical and financial reasons, and he has totally ignored my request.

Our swimming lessons are £40 too Kneazle.

I know a few parents who won't pay due the principle that it should be funded by the school, which is fine, except it pushes the price up for the rest of us.

Wonder what would happen if we all refused?

I suppose it depends on what you are sending the money in for, in our school it is never a large amount and we don't have fairs, we have discos or non uniform days or movie nights and then an parents only themed night

Being on the PTA I know that this year the money being raised is to buy the school an interactive whiteboard and the stuff that comes with it

I never give dcs money for the book clubs and restrict raffle tickets that I buy simply because I have bought the stuff for the raffle and consider that my donation

The swimming stops Furball...out of a class of 30 children only 1 parent could afford the swimming lessons...the lessons were stopped.

I have never done the book fairs at school or any school PTA activities tbh I just don't have the time, money or inclination.

The boys do non uniform days, the £5 donation at the beginning of term and a very cheap trip or enrichment week....anything else gets a very straight forward 'No' and all raffle tickets etc are sent back to school in an envelope with a note stating I can't afford MORE money for school donations.

When my boys first went to school their trips required a donations of under a fiver.

It was a true donation too, you paid if you could, not the trips cost 3x as much and are accompanied by a threat to cancel....in that case go ahead and cancel. We as a family more than make up for them missing one school trip.

I really, really hate being emotionally blackmailed into making 'donations' which I can ill afford and very much object to my children being used as tools by school to get money from me. Other childrens peer pressure is nothing compared to the pressure applied by school, through my children, when trying to get me to part with money.

A basic education is supposed to be free for all.....and it is far from free!

The swimming lessons at our school are pointless anyway. For forty pounds we get 6 half hour lessons. By the time they get in it is more like 20 mins max. By the end of the six weeks the ones who could swim already can still swimm (surprise surprise) The ones who could not swim can still cannot swim. The lessons don't seem to make any difference at all. Taking them to the pool and back takes half a day. It is a nice idea but in practice it is not working.

"and very much object to my children being used as tools by school to get money from me"

I assume you don't claim child benefit or tax credits though as you obviously wouldn't want to use your children as a money tool.

Children do get a free education, its the extras usually that are available through fund raising.

Its sad to see so many negative comments about the PTA or schools, they are just trying to ensure that school is as enjoyable as possible and that the resources and extras are available.

It has become a bit of a conspiracy. The parents are told how much the trip costs then we are told that all children should attend then we are told that if there is financial difficulty the school can help.

So I wonder if the parents that do pay are subsidising the parents who don't, won't can't.

What really annoys me is the school want them to go to the fusty National Gallery when i would rather take them to Tate Modern.

The year 8's residential trip is camping in the countryside but my ds has appalling hayfever. Nightmare!!

If it's all about enrichment then let me decide where to take them. I can do that but i can't teach the curriculum.

Incidentally ParentPay is a great way of managing the budgets for trips because you can pay by credit card.

YABU.

It's not like the money is going to the teachers beer fund!

When talking about 'non-uniform days' and a bit of bus fare for a school trip (rather than talking cello lessons and ski trips), I find it frankly perplexing that people resent making a small outlay to enrich their DCs educational experience.

It's a school, not a fricking creche!

Yeah, they could all sit in rows and recite their times tables six hours a day.... but some kids really benefit from a chance to experience education more 'in context'.

If you're in an income bracket where you 'feel' a £5 donation for a school trip, then you would definitely 'feel' the cost of having to take yourself + DC + siblings + snack in the cafe to the same museum/show/place. I see it as a service the school provides for parents, and to level the playing field with regards to the experiences kids have had.

For example, my Dd was taken to the seaside by her school. Some of the kids there, it was the first time they'd seen the sea. The trip cost around £5-£10 i think - with a proviso about 'have a chat to the teacher if you want to pay £1 a week'.

When I was in school (in another country), we had to buy not only our uniforms and books, but also pay termly subs towards our writing paper and writing implements. Everyone did - education is a priority.

HappyMummyOfOne I meant emotional blackmail tools...or weapons...you chose which term you prefer.

As for any benefits I may/may not claim....well.......

If the swimming is classed a 'compulsory' then to me it seems this is an essential part of the child's education and not an extra. I always though extras were non compulsory.

Tbh my 'issue' is with the lack of funding from government not the PTA itself.