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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset my dd and I are bridemaides but she does not want her for the rest of the day

72 replies

sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 20:26

Really upset and torn, DD and I have been asked by friend who I have known for 4 months to be bridemaids,me and dp and ds and dd ask to the whole day now my friend has said after the church no children, becuase of cost etc, which I understand.
However Im really upset as I feel my daughter is their to do her part and then Its like see you later.
Aibu to say I would rather she was not bridemaid aibu.
Im still happy to be her Bridesmaid but I have to take myself to 3 venues within the day, arggh I feel let down am I being unresonable.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 02/03/2010 20:29

You've known her only 4 mths and she has asked you to be bridesmaid?

nickschick · 02/03/2010 20:29

If youve only known her 4 months its a bit odd shes asked you imo ....i think id not get so heavily involved.

HerBeatitude · 02/03/2010 20:29

Bridezilla alert.

She wants your DD to be a prop, so that she will make the photos look nice and be a pretty addition to the tableau, but wants her to disappear afterwards as she's too inconvenient?

Nice. Sorry but that is behaviour that I would define as cuntish.

heQet · 02/03/2010 20:29

Not unreasonable at all. Sounds like she just wants her to look pretty for the pictures! Like she's using her. If it was me, I'd say she couldn't do it.

Her wedding her choice blah blah yadda yadda, but she's being mean!

thisisyesterday · 02/03/2010 20:30

hmm that is pretty weird! if she is a bridesmaid then she ought to be able to attend the whole day.
in fact, i'd be tempted to say that actually, it's not going to work and you;ll have to pull out and not bother at all

HerBeatitude · 02/03/2010 20:31

Yeah also only 4 months and she wants you to be a bridesmaid?

Where are all her old friends? Have they got fed up with her cuntishness?

jenduff · 02/03/2010 20:34

yanbu she is bridezilla

Hulababy · 02/03/2010 20:35

I'd say no. If she really wanted your DD at her wedding she would want her there all day. Sounds like she just wants her there to look pretty in the photos. She can't pick and chose IMO.

NeedLawadvice · 02/03/2010 20:38

YANBU tell her to hire a child model for the photos if she's only interested in a prop.

Sn0wflake · 02/03/2010 20:38

That's nasty...I'd tell her to piss off (nicely). YANBU

westender · 02/03/2010 20:47

Very odd to be someone's bridesmaid when you've only been friends for such a short time.

I would decline nicely on your dd's part, with the perfectly reasonable explanation that if she is unable to come to the reception then you are having to arrange for her to be elsewhere for the (whole) day.

Original poster
sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 20:53

Thanks everyone my daughter is not a prop and thats why im angry, yes she has hardly any friends its almost Jeremy Kyle, one bridemaid gone, their will be none soon the others all have children which are bridemaids and they dont know yet, I have been the most loyal they are giving her shit about not wearing dresses all night leaving and not being their all day and now this.
I have to provide food for evening buffet made from scratch dp has left the building with a face as your to nice I told you so, and left to go out nice escape ha ha ,and she is my neighbour help?

OP posts:
Seabright · 02/03/2010 20:58

You have to provide food for a wedding at which you are a guest and yet she says your daughter cannot attend because of the cost?

I think you either need to have a stern word with her or pull out.

Or both.

Original poster
sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 21:00

Yep I feel so bad I'm a nice person but im not impressed infact im peed.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 02/03/2010 21:00

I would say no to her, thats just not fair, it is using imo.

maduggar · 02/03/2010 21:00

Am I the only person who wants to know more about this wedding?

Heated · 02/03/2010 21:02

Cynical me wonders if she's befriended you in order to have pretty bridemaids for the photos?

And hold on, if you are providing food, then how can bridezilla say she can't afford to have dd there? She's not costing her anything!!

oldraver · 02/03/2010 21:02

So not only is your dd not welcome to attend the reception party part... but YOU are providing the food ..........my first

Original poster
sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 21:11

A while ago she came up with no wedding presents certain pepole would provide food what could I do?, I said I cant cook she said I have something easy for you,.
Everyone thinks she is using me and I feel so upset now more so that my children are there to be usedand she said your pretty you fit in with my theme right height, right coloured hair etc , she has bought the dress fthe day after I excepted ,thats what I feel bad about but no real friend would do this surely?.

OP posts:
FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 02/03/2010 21:15

Either be a bridesmaid or don't but this sounds like one weird person and not someone who I would want as a friend, unless of course there is more to this?

MadamDeathstare · 02/03/2010 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mongolia · 02/03/2010 21:17

Well, they are right, she is using you. TBH I wouldn't cook for the wedding of my best friend and she would know better not to ask me as she knows I'm not a good cook! Now, asking to get my child involved in church and no more than that because of the costs??? The CHEEK of it!

Pull out, you don't know her that well, she doesn't seem a nice person anyway, no big loss.

lal123 · 02/03/2010 21:18

she wants you to be a bridesmaid because you fit with her theme? And YOU SAID YES??????

pigletmania · 02/03/2010 21:19

I would have given her marching orders

fishingboat · 02/03/2010 21:19

Be honest tell her how shes making you feel, how old is your daughter how will she react if you told her she was not going to be a bridesmaid?????

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